TEEN: The Hoenn Adventures of a Boy Named Asher

[Kantomasta]

Just caught up and read all the chapters from last time I have to say, your detail is getting better, but your pace seems almost too quick. In a few chapters you caught alot of pokemon, and had two evolve once and another evolve twice. he stiry just seems to be moving too fast. Other then that its great though!

 

[Pikalution]

Thanks for reading! The reason why he caught so many pokemon is because it's mostly based on a Nuzlocke. I'm not sticking with the Nuzlocke 100%, because I bent the rule that if a pokemon faints, you can't use it anymore. Bennie used her Treecko twice, even though he fainted. And Asher didn't catch a pokemon from the Granite Cave (because the pokemon I found wasn't a good one). And the reasoning for so many evolutions is because I'm kind of going by what happens in my game. Most pokemon evolve around the same time, and currently, all of Asher's team is level 18, which means that it's almost time for his Whismur and Taillow to evolve as well. I'm just sticking by the games evolution wise thanks for the review!

 

[NiallC]

I agree that sometimes there should be more detail but it will get better in time but maybe stick in a few more adjectives for things instead of saying "to the west there was the sea" put "to the west I could see the turqoise ocean glistening beautifully" or something like that.

As others have said pace is a problem, sometimes it is alright but sometimes too fast. You seem to manage to pass a town/city/route in a few paragraphs when you could maybe spend a few chapters on a city for example Rustboro, being a bit bigger than the others seen so far could have done with maybe three chapters; one to do with training, one to do with exploration and the battling of a rival or something and lastly the gym battle which you coulch have then put in a lot more detail and action into. But the four days you're expecting to spend in Dewford is alright I guess now you're getting better at writing but then again it is a smaller town with little other than the gym and cave to do so maybe it is a bit too long to spend there unless there is something to do with a plot twist then otherwise continue.

Now I do like the relationship you have created between Bennie and Asher, especially in Bennies room when it was all awkward, it reminds me of the Paul/Ash relationship in the Anime. One being a bit aggresive, self centered and confident choosing only the strongest whilst the other strives to impress but is willing to train Pokemon instead of get those that could instantly become strong. This mysterious girl is one which I'm not certain of yet, it seemed a bit of a drastic plot twist but hasn't yet added to much so I'm presuming the main part of the plot will appear later. Are you planning on introducing any other rivals?

 

[Pikalution]

Thanks for the review! I'm trying to stick to the game plot as little as possible. I want to create my own plot and my own story and events. The mysterious girl (Mirella) and Phoenix (the private investigator) will play major roles later on in the story. Bennie? Not so much. Her role becomes more minor as the story progresses, but she will continue to be a love interest for Asher. I guess I made the plot faster at first because Asher wanted to move on and become Champion as quickly as possible. However, his character is now growing and will probably spend more days doing things other than battling. Team Magma/Aqua doesn't exist either, by the way. Asher's dreams are also significant, but more plot twists and answers to his questions will come as he progresses through the Hoenn region. Oh, the suspense!

 

[Pikalution]

Thank you everyone for the reviews! Here's a chapter that is a bit sad and dramatic for you drama lovers, but it's also got some action in it for those people who love reading about pokemon battles! And, without a moment to lose, here's Chapter 10!

Chapter 10​

"Sir...wake up! Sir..." A female voice was saying.

Asher opened his eyes, finding himself on the couch in the lobby of the Pokemon Center in Dewford Town. He sat up and found two Chansey and a nurse looking at him. I must've fallen asleep on the couch instead of going up to my room, he thought.

"Oh, you're finally awake!" the nurse said. "You left the news on last night and fell asleep here. Is there anything in your room that you want before we give it to someone else?"

Asher thought about this for a minute, but he shook his head, remembering that he had taken everything with him last night. "I think I'm good."

The nurse smiled. "Great! The weather is on right now. You should see it."

Asher nodded and looked over at the TV.

"Strange weather patterns have been appearing all over Hoenn. It seems like a nice day at first, but then it will start pouring rain. Then, it will be sunny again, and the water will dry up instantly. Scientists all over are trying to find out what is going on, but for now, this weather channel will be off the air. The weather is no longer predictable. Carry around umbrellas everywhere you go, and expect sudden rain and sunshine. This is Weatherman Dave reporting from the Weather Institute."

Asher remembered yesterday. It had been such a nice day at first, but then it started pouring down rain. When he had exited Granite Cave after he finished training, everything was dry, and the sun was hot and unbearable. He wondered why the weather was suddenly changing like that.

He exited the Pokemon Center and headed towards the gym. There were lots of ships departing today. It seemed like everyone wanted to go home after those strange weather patterns. Right now, it was extremely hot and sunny, and Asher's sunburn hurt worse than before.

When he got to the gym, he read the sign outside to come up with a plan. It read:

Dewford Town Pokemon Gym
Leader: Aaron
"The bulky wrestling star!"

Asher could tell that this would be a Fighting gym based on the words "bulky" and "wrestling". He thought about what type advantages he had. Psychic and Flying...Belle and Miku could sweep through this gym easily!

Suddenly, a little boy with sky blue hair and blue eyes ran up to the doors. A woman with even lighter blue hair, almost white, was following him.

"But Mommy, I want to watch Aaron's gym battles!" the little boy whined.

"Not now, dear," his mother said, "You have to help your father with his fishing business and sell some fish at the market."

"It's way too hot outside! No one will come!" The little boy said, having no interest in his father's fishing business.

His mother shot him an angry look, and the poor little boy reluctantly followed his mother.

Asher felt bad for the little boy. He would've been able to see him battle Aaron if his mother hadn't been in the way, but nothing could be done.

When he entered the gym, it was dark and confusing. He used the wall to find his way, but the whole gym felt like a maze. As he got further, he finally saw a light. Following the light, he continued brushing against the wall. Finnegan kept touching Asher's leg to make sure he wouldn't get lost.

When they reached the light, they saw a man in his early thirties with red, spiky hair. He was wearing a red wrestling outfit, and his muscles were easily seen. He didn't look like a monster, but he was muscular enough to look like he could break Asher like a toothpick. "I have a new challenger, I see." he said, smiling.

"My name is Asher, and I aspire to become the Champion!" Asher declared.

Aaron laughed. "You've got a long way ahead of you if you think you're going to be the Champion, kid. I don't have a referee, but I think we can carry on this battle without one."

Asher nodded. "Let the battle begin!" He threw a Poke Ball into the air, Belle coming out of the white light. He saw Aaron send out a Meditite, a Psychic/Fighting dual-type pokemon. I guess I can't use Confusion yet, he thought. "Belle, use Gust!" Asher ordered.

"Meditate, Fighter!" Aaron ordered.

Fighter closed his eyes and calmly meditated while Belle sent winds towards him. Fighter snapped out of his meditation, the winds making him fly everywhere.

"Detect, Fighter! I don't want you to get hurt anymore!" Aaron called.

"Prepare a Poison Sting, but don't strike until the Detect fades!" Asher commanded.

Fighter protected himself against any attack Belle could possibly use, but it proved useless when Belle refused to make a move. Once the Detect faded, Belle struck him with her Poison Sting, and Fighter turned purple, obviously poisoned.

Asher knew this battle would be in his favor. "Great job, Belle! Now hit him with another Gust!"

"Try to dodge it, Fighter!" Aaron ordered.

Fighter desperately tried to get away from the winds, but they caught him and threw him around again. He was almost unable to battle. He turned purple, the poison kicked in, and he landed flat on his face.

"You tried your best, Fighter." Aaron sighed, returning his Meditite. Asher kept Belle out while Aaron threw a Great Ball, revealing a Machop. "All right, Choppy, we can do this! Hit that Dustox with a Karate Chop!"

"Confusion, Belle!" Asher ordered, "And stay in the air to avoid his attacks!"

Belle stared right at Choppy, her eyes turning pink. Choppy's eyes turned pink, eventually making him smack against the wall. When he stood up, he looked drunk and disoriented.

"Oh, Choppy, you're confused!" Aaron wailed. "Try to hit her with a Low Kick!"

"Confusion again, Belle!" Asher ordered.

Choppy tried to hit Belle, but he ended up swinging his foot, losing balance, and falling on the floor. Belle used that as her perfect opportunity to stare him down, using her Confusion. Choppy tried to get up, but he wasn't willing to fight. He fell down, lying there unconsciously.

"Great job, Belle!" Asher praised as Aaron returned Choppy. Belle looked proud of herself, confident that she would win this battle.

"I have one more pokemon," Aaron announced, "but I warn you: he is tougher than my other two."

"With Belle, I can conquer anything!" Asher declared, and he heard Finnegan mutter in agreement. However, he spoke too son as the energy from Aaron's Great Ball turned into a Makuhita. He definitely looked tougher than Aaron's other two pokemon, and he gave Belle a menacing glare and looked confident. He'll be scared once Belle uses her Confusion and Gust, Asher thought. My pokemon are indestructible! None of my pokemon have fainted since I started my journey!

"Vital Throw, Blackbelt." Aaron ordered.

"Belle, dodge him as usual and use your Confusion!" Asher commanded.

Blackbelt ran over to Belle and grabbed her, spinning her around and throwing her against the wall. Asher was shocked that Blackbelt had actually managed to hit Belle, and he began to think that he might have underestimated the Makuhita's power.

Belle flew up higher and stared Blackbelt down. However, Blackbelt wasn't going to get hit by Confusion that easily. He ran around the gym and jumped on the wall behind the Dustox, jumping off of it and grabbing Belle from behind. He spun her around in a circle and threw her against the wall once again. Belle crashed to the ground, unable to get up. Asher noticed that she wasn't flying, and walked over to her to find out why. He gasped when he saw it: her wing was torn.

Blackbelt was powerful, but Asher wasn't giving up. "Belle, use your Poison Sting!" he ordered.

"Bulk Up and let her sting you!" Aaron said, "hit her with Arm Thrust when she gets close!"

Blackbelt flexed his muscles and got prepared to hit Belle as she turned purple and rammed into him. It did little damage, and he continuously thrusted her with his arm. Belle started to bleed, red liquid running down her side.

Asher was getting worried. There's got to be some way to defeat this Makuhita! Belle has move type advantages and he's kicking her ass! "Even though your wing is torn, try using Gust!" he said, hoping it would work. Close-ranged attacks like Tackle and Poison Sting would only make her worse, and Confusion wasn't working too well either.

"Vital Throw again, Blackbelt!" Aaron ordered.

Belle was able to fly, but not too high. The air was passing through her torn wing and making it hard to pick up any wind. She tucked her bad wing away and made a Gust attack with her good wing. However, Blackbelt weighed more than Fighter and Choppy. The weaker wind and his weight combined made the move useless. He picked Belle up once again and threw her against the wall. Belle crashed onto the ground again, struggling to breathe.

This reminded Asher of Bennie's Ralts, Grace, when Finnegan had almost killed her. He panicked. "Belle, are you sure you want to continue?"

Belle forced herself to get up and nodded weakly. "Dus...tox..." she replied.

Asher wasn't sure if he wanted her to continue, but he went with it anyway. "Try a Confusion, Belle!" it seemed like the move that was the least useless.

"Arm Thrust!" Aaron ordered. He seemed happy that the tables turned once he sent out Blackbelt.

Belle couldn't fly, but she stared at Blackbelt, hoping to hit him this time. Blackbelt kept moving around and ran up to her. He crushed her with his elbow, right where her lungs were. Asher gasped as blood came out of that area, leaving Belle immobile. Aaron looked shocked too, and they both ran over to see what had happened.

Blackbelt stepped out of the way. Belle didn't seem to be breathing or moving. Asher looked for the rise and fall of her chest, but there were no signs that she was alive. Asher was frozen with fear. Did Belle actually die?

Aaron looked at Asher with a frown. "It appears that your Dustox has died. I apologize; I didn't mean for Blackbelt to be that aggressive."

Asher couldn't believe it. He knew some pokemon died in battle, but he didn't think his could. He thought his pokemon were practically indestructible, but he could see now that battling was dangerous. Thoughts about going home and forgetting about being Champion flooded through his mind. But I can't go home. I have no home. I have no choice but to move on.

Aaron looked guilty. "Do you want to continue the battle? I'll bury her for you."

Asher snapped back into reality and turned towards Aaron. "I...I think so. The death of a pokemon is normal in battle, isn't it?"

Aaron nodded. "However, the first death is always the worst. I've had a few pokemon killed myself. They're all buried at Mt. Pyre."

Asher was confused. "Mt. Pyre? Will I see Belle there?"

"Yes, you will. I will put her there for you if you'd like."

Asher nodded. "Please do! I don't think I would be able to do it myself...it's too painful." Tears started pouring out of his eyes. Aaron let him cry for a few minutes, then he wiped his face. "I think I'm ready to battle now."

"You sure?" Aaron asked, still concerned.

"Yeah," Asher said, getting a Poke Ball out of his belt and throwing it into the air, revealing Miku. "Miku, use Wing Attack!"

Unlike Belle, Miku could fly higher, and her Flying-type attacks were more powerful. Asher knew that Miku was perfect for battling Blackbelt.

"Blackbelt, use Bulk Up!" Aaron ordered, but it was too late. Miku was much faster than Belle, hitting Blackbelt with ease. Blackbelt fell down, but he got right back up. It was going to take a few Wing Attacks to ultimately defeat him, but Asher was ready.

"Wing Attack again!" Asher commanded.

"Try a Vital Throw!" Aaron said.

Blackbelt prepared to throw Miku, but she had already slashed him with her wings. Blackbelt was getting weaker, overwhelmed by Miku's speed.

"Keep going, Miku! You can defeat him!" Asher said, confidence building. He felt like he was avenging Belle's death, but he certainly didn't want to kill Blackbelt.

"Use Arm Thrust!" Aaron ordered.

Miku drove down to Blackbelt while Blackbelt jumped up to hit her. Miku slashed Blackbelt with her wings once more, making Blackbelt fall with a loud THUD!, and he was lying on the ground, clearly unconscious. Asher had earned his second badge.

Asher, however, couldn't stop thinking about Belle. He wasn't in the mood to celebrate.

Aaron smiled as he returned his Makuhita. "Most trainers have to battle me two or three times because of Blackbelt, but you've managed to defeat me after one try! You will be a great trainer someday, and you seem like a good candidate for the next Champion. Here is the TM Bulk Up and the Knuckle Badge." Aaron handed Asher a dark red disc and a badge shaped like a red boxing glove.

"Thank you, Aaron," Asher said, "and...please take care of Belle." tears once again started forming in his eyes.

Aaron nodded. "I promise I will." The lights suddenly all came on in the gym, making navigation to the outside much easier.

Asher and Finnegan ran out of the gym. Asher was still questioning something: he had forgotten why he was on this journey in the first place. The death of Belle stabbed him like a knife, and Asher didn't know if he wanted to risk the death of any of his other pokemon. Suddenly, it started to pour. Asher stood there in the pouring rain, not caring how wet he was getting. Finnegan nuzzled him with comfort, but Asher could only stand there and listen to the rain.

"Finny, if anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do." he said, tears now pouring out of his eyes. "I don't know what to do anymore."

Finnegan could only hug his legs and try to calm him down. The two best friends just stood there in the pouring rain for hours, questioning what to do next.

 

[Kantomasta]

Belle!! Excuse me while i go cry in a corner :'(


Anyway, good chapter overall, the pacing and detail worked together perfectly. Not much to say for criticism though. Can't wait until next time!

 

[Pikalution]

I know! I felt bad for doing it, but hey, I think Asher needs to man up a little Here's Chapter 11! This is a short, passive chapter meant to convey emotions and show a little bit more of Bennie's and Asher's personalities. WARNING: some foul language will be presented. Viewer discretion is advised.

Chapter 11​

Asher walked into the cafeteria, still soaking wet. He had told his pokemon the news, and out of the four of them, it was Oliver who was the most grief-stricken. He had been the closest to Belle, always playing with her when they were let outside their Poke Balls.

When he sat down and sent out all of his pokemon to eat, he caught sight of Bennie. She caught him looking over at her and scowled, obviously still angry from the day before. Asher realized this was his third day here; Mr. Briney would be picking him up and taking him to Slateport tomorrow. He loved this little island, but he knew he couldn't stay there forever. After all, he had to become Champion...at least he thought he did before. Asher had been questioning that ever since Belle's death.

Bennie came up to him and punched him in the face. Asher winced in pain. but he understood why she had done that. "You almost killed my precious Grace! How do you expect me to forgive you for that?"

Asher didn't think he would cry again, but he felt the tears in his eyes once more. "When I battled Aaron, one of my pokemon died." he explained. "I know the feeling of the death of a teammate and a friend. Feel like a bitch now?" he felt moody and didn't feel like talking to her. "I might not even want to become Champion anymore. I might as well just go back to my abusive parents. Everywhere I go, I'm abused, whether it's mental or physical. I can't escape it."

Bennie's angry look faded away, and she actually felt bad. "My parents aren't the best, either. They expect me to become the best Pokemon Professor ever known, but that's not what I want to be. That's why they like my older brother more. They see him as their future."

"It's better than being abused everywhere you go," Asher snapped, "My parents abuse me, you abuse me, and the death of my pokemon abuses me. My mother kicked me out of her house and I have nowhere to go, so all I can do is move on, but what good does that do when I still get abused?"

"Listen, Asher." Bennie said calmly, "stop being a whiny little girl. You sound like one of those rich, snobby girls who is complaining because her parents wouldn't buy her fourth fucking shiny Ponyta. It's in my nature to snap you back into reality and teach you a lesson or two, but don't take it personally. And ignore your parents; that's what I'm doing. I'm going to find the TM Secret Power and make my own Secret Base to live in. Do that, and you'll have your own home. I'm trying to conquer Hoenn because that's what I've always dreamed of doing instead of doing boring research my whole life. What's your reason to become Champion?"

Asher thought about this for a moment. "Well, at first, I did it because I wanted to prove to my parents that I'm better than they think I am. They've always thought I would never amount to anything. However, I haven't thought of them recently. Only Belle's death made me think of all that, but I think I'm starting to want to become Champion for other reasons, too."

Bennie nodded. "See? Use those other goals. Your parents shouldn't mean anything to you at all. Never go back. Put your past behind you, stop worrying about the future, live in the present, and for Rayquaza's sake, please grow some balls."

Asher looked over at her. "Thank you." he said. "Thank you for making me realize that I need to continue my journey. I've got two badges, six more to go, and an Elite Four and Champion to beat. That is my life. Nothing in my past should matter anymore."

Bennie smiled, though she tried to hide it. "There you go! Now quit being a whiny bitch and enjoy the rest of your time in Dewford!"

"I will!" Asher declared, and he ran out of the Pokemon Center. His pokemon nervously followed him, wondering why he ran out so suddenly. It was extremely hot outside, but Asher didn't seem to mind, even though he had sunburn. He wanted to find the little boy from earlier. He walked over to the market to see if he was there.

The market was different from anything Asher had ever seen. Tents of all different colors lined up, each tent selling something different. Asher had never seen people sell things outdoors; he was used to the Poke Mart in Blackthorn. It wasn't very popular, but Asher guessed it was only because most people left from the strange weather patterns. Once he saw the fish tent, he saw the little boy selling fish. He looked bored and upset.

"Hello, little boy," Asher said, "my name is Asher. I noticed that you wanted to watch my battle earlier."

The boy just gave him a grumpy look and nodded. "My mommy is mean."

"Well, why don't you take a break there and have a practice battle with me?" Asher suggested, "It could help you become a great trainer someday."

The little boy's eyes lit up. "Would you?! That would be so cool! I aspire to be Aaron's successor as gym leader."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to practice." Asher said, smiling. He felt good, doing a good deed like that. They exited the market and went over to an open field.

"I don't have any pokemon," the little boy admitted, "but I do really want to practice."

"That's fine!" Asher said, "I have four pokemon; I can let you borrow two for now." He handed the little boy two of his Poke Balls, not really knowing which ones the boy got. He might have taken Finnegan's empty one for all he knew. "All right, so this is just practice. Do not make any of the pokemon faint. Return your pokemon when it is weak." He looked over at Finnegan. "Go easy on him, ok?"

"Marsh! Tomp marsh." Finnegan said, nodding.

"Go, pokemon!" the little boy said, throwing one of Asher's Poke Balls in the air. It revealed Oliver. "Wow, a Nuzleaf!" the little boy said, amazed.

"Let's do this, Tremolo!" Asher said, finally realizing which pokemon they each had.

"A Whismur! Cool!" the little boy was very enthusiastic. "My first pokemon battle! Okay, Nuzleaf, use Nature Power!"

"His name is Oliver." Asher informed him. "All right, Tremolo, use Pound!"

Oliver was clearly confused about the whole situation. He was battling his own teammate and against his trainer.

"It's ok, Oliver. It's just practice, so listen to him for now. And go easy on Tremolo and Finnegan!" Asher said, reassuring his pokemon. Tremolo had overheard.

"Nuz! Nuzleaf!" Oliver said, still a little uneasy. However, he followed the little boy's command and used Nature Power, which turned into Earthquake. Tremolo was afraid, and started shaking as the tremor hit him. Tremolo ran up to Oliver and jumped, pounding him to the ground.

Asher was watching Tremolo battle, and he wasn't so sure that he was capable of battling. He was in constant fear and kept shaking, not to mention his moves looked uneasy as well. He was questioning whether he should keep him in the PC or not, but he knew Finnegan wouldn't like it. Finnegan was like Tremolo's older brother.

"That was awesome!" The little boy said in awe, "Now use Bide!"

"Try an Uproar!" Asher commanded.

Oliver stood in place, taking in all the sound waves Tremolo was making. Tremolo's attack continued, and after three Uproars were used on Oliver, Oliver unleashed all the damage Tremolo caused. Tremolo proved to be much weaker than Oliver; he fell and almost fainted on the spot.

"Yes! I beat your pokemon!" The little boy said, excited that he won. "Your Nuzleaf is awesome!"

"Thank you!" Asher said, giggling a little. "Now return Oliver and send out the next pokemon" He turned towards Finnegan. "Ready to battle Miku? Remember to go easy on her."

Finnegan nodded and ran in front of his trainer.

"Go, pokemon!" The little boy said, still enthusiastic. The energy turned into Miku, Asher's Taillow. "You have a Taillow, too!" the little boy exclaimed. He acted like he had never seen pokemon before. He looked at Finnegan. "And you started with a Mudkip, who evolved into Marshtomp! Your pokemon are the best!"

Asher's face turned red. "Thanks, kid. Finnegan, use Mud Shot!" He knew Mud Shot wouldn't do anything, but he wanted the little boy to beat him twice and feel proud. He then saw the confusion on Miku's face. "Miku, it's just practice," he reassured, "Listen to what he says for now."

"Use Quick Attack!" The little boy ordered Miku.

Finnegan shot mud at Miku, knowing it wouldn't affect her. Miku swooped down at godlike speeds and smacked against Finnegan's stomach, his always huge meal still inside of it. Finny clutched his stomach, feeling the pain of a Quick Attack and a huge meal combined.

"Wow, I already did a lot of damage!" the boy said.

"Use Water Gun!" Asher ordered.

"Wing Attack now, little Taillow!" the boy said.

Finnegan shot water out of his mouth, but it wasn't forceful like it usually was. It was more like a Water Squirt attack, but he and Asher both knew that it was necessary to boost the little boy's ego. Miku's wings turned white as the dove down to Finnegan and hit him with her wings. Finnegan decided to force himself to fall down to make the little boy feel like he had already won the battle.

"I did it!" He said, "I really did it! I won!" He jumped for joy and returned Miku. He walked up to Asher and gave him his Poke Balls back. "Thank you so much! I will definitely become the best gym leader there ever was!"

Suddenly, a woman with bluish white hair stomped up to them. "And just what exactly do you think you are doing, dear?"

The little boy's enthusiasm eroded away, frowning at the sight of his mother. "A-Asher was j-just...letting me...p-practice..."

"I thought I've already given you a job to do." The mother said. "You were supposed to sell fish. Who is over there now?"

The little boy became frozen with fear, unable to speak.

"No one's there?!" The mother yelled, "You can't just leave our stand like that! What if someone steals our fish? How will your father make any money? Wait until he hears about this..."

"Hang on!" Asher said, cutting in. "This little boy here is aspiring to become a gym leader. He doesn't want anything to do with his father's fishing business. He just wanted to have a little fun for once. Cut him some slack! He's just a little kid."

"No one asked you to cut in our family matters!" The mother scolded, "Now go away before you influence my son to do anything else." She dragged her son back to the market.

Asher's heart sank. He felt bad for the little boy. Would he ever fulfill his dream to become gym leader? Asher decided that he would keep visiting this town and watch the little boy grow up. Maybe, someday, he would be Champion and the little boy would be a gym leader, and they would be in the Hoenn League together.

 

[Kantomasta]

Good chapter. No mistakes that i can see, and i have a feeling we're gonna see that boy in the future

 

[Pikalution]

I loved writing about him. I imagined this adorable little kid, and I just wanted to see him in real life and give him a bug hug! :awww: Anyway, here's Chapter 12! Asher's finally moving on

Chapter 12​

Asher put all of his things in his bag and walked down the stairs of the Pokemon Center. It was his fourth day in Dewford Town, and he was getting ready to wait for Mr. Briney to pick him up. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Finnegan following behind him, he saw tons of trainers and nurses gathered around the TV. Wanting to see what was going on, he ran over to an empty seat on a couch and looked at the TV.

After a few days of research on this unpredictable weather, scientists have explored Mt. Pyre to find both the Blue Orb and the Red Orb missing! They say that the separation of these orbs may be causing these random dry spells and rainstorms. Keep a lookout for any suspicious gangs or thieves that may have possession of these orbs.
And now, a report from the Professor.
"A Torchic has been stolen from my lab a few days ago. So far, there is no sufficient evidence stating who stole it. Keep an eye out for any suspicious people that may have taken a Torchic as well as anyone who took the orbs."

Asher was shocked. Both orbs have been stolen?! If the separation caused the orbs to create abnormal weather, then that means more than one person was behind it. A Torchic was stolen, too! Suddenly, it hit him. Mirella. She had a Torchic when I battled her a few days ago...and her reaction to it... Memories of Mirella's shocked expression when she saw the Torchic proved that she didn't even know what the pokemon was before she sent it out. Mirella stole the Torchic! She might have one of the orbs, too...

Asher remembered what Phoenix said about her. She was a thief, and she might be in Slateport. I must go to Slateport! He ran out of the Pokemon Center and over to the dock, relieved to see Mr. Briney's little boat.

Mr. Briney smiled. "Ready to leave?" Peecko was roosted on his shoulder as usual.

Asher nodded. "I would like to go to Slateport," he said.

"Anchors aweigh, Peecko!" Mr. Briney yelled, "Let's go to Slateport City!"

Asher sent out all of his pokemon and stepped inside the ferry. Peecko took the anchor out of the water, sending them on their way to Slateport City.

"I'll have to warn you," Mr. Briney said, "Slateport is half a day away. It's much longer than the route from Petalburg to Dewford."

"I'll be fine," Asher insisted, "Slateport is too important to miss. I have to get there to follow my dream to become Champion and save Hoenn!"

"Save Hoenn?" Mr. Briney asked, confused. "I understand that the weather hasn't been the best, but what does Hoenn need saving for?"

Suddenly, the clouds gathered and the sky went gray. After the morning dry spell, it was starting to pour down rain. Asher could hear thunder in the distance, and his mind started to go into panic mode. He knew boats didn't do well in thunderstorms. He looked up at Mr. Briney with a terrified expression.

"Oh, no worries, boy!" Mr. Briney said, laughing. "The thunder sounds like it's miles away! I'm sure the thunderstorm will be gone before it goes anywhere near us." BOOM! The thunder was getting closer. Mr. Briney's confidence was starting to fade.

"You were saying?" Asher said, still panicking. He saw all the swimmers in the water frantically swimming towards Dewford, and the pokemon hid underwater. Did they have enough time to turn back?

Mr. Briney seemed to be reading his mind. "We're not turning back. The storm will pass, and everything will be fine! You'll see."

BOOM! The thunder was getting even closer, and Asher could see lightning in the distance. The waves started to get violent. Fear took over Asher. "Finnegan, Tremolo, Miku, and Oliver! Get inside immediately!" He ran around to find his pokemon, finding them all huddling in a corner. He picked them up one by one and took them inside the boat.

BOOM! This time, the thunder was terrifyingly close. Lightning struck a rock behind them, and Tremolo wasn't the only one shaking.

Mr. Briney was finally panicking. "It's coming from Dewford! I can't go back! Peecko, what do we do?!"

Peecko flew inside the ship to find Miku, pretending not to hear his master's pleas.

"Put the boat on hyper speed!" Asher screamed, "Now!"

BOOM! Lightning hit the deck at the bow, and Asher knew by then that they were doomed. He ran back inside the boat to be with his pokemon. The waves were the most violent, rocking the boat back and forth constantly. Asher fell to the ground as a huge wave passed by the boat, making him hit his head against a table. Blood started flowing from the wound, worrying Finnegan as he ran over to his trainer's side.

"I'll be okay, Finnegan." Asher said, even though the wound hurt worse than any pain he's ever experienced. "This storm will pass, and we will be fine." His heart sank, making him feel guilty for lying to his pokemon like that. He knew they wouldn't be okay. Nothing would be all right. He had failed them.

BOOM! More thunder was heard, and the rocking made them all fall to the floor. Asher heard a crashing sound, and water started seeping inside. They were in even more trouble now. "We have to go outside before the water drowns all of us!" Asher gasped, grabbing Miku and Oliver in his arms. He opened the door to the outside and saw Mr. Briney struggling to keep the boat afloat. The boat had scraped against a rock, which had caused the crashing sound earlier.

"Water is coming inside! We can't stay in there anymore!" Asher panicked, grabbing the last three and putting them outside.

"There's a nearby island that we could land on until the storm passes, so no need to--"

BOOM! Lightning crashed down on the boat once more, and the waves pulled the boat towards another rock. Asher started yelling in terror as the boat was thrown onto the rock, crashing the boat and causing him to fall to the ground and his wound making everything to go black.

--------

Asher's eyes opened up to the familiar place again. He was hurting everywhere, and saw bruises on his legs and arms, and he could feel some on his face. He looked around the room to see all the children again, dressed in the same outfit they were last time.

The girl with the black hair he recognized ran up to him with a smile on her face. "Guess what, Asher?!" She exclaimed happily.

"You've figured out why I'm here?" Asher suggested, wishing he knew.

"No, silly!" She said, "I'm getting adopted! Nolan and I are getting adopted! I'm so excited!"

Asher was confused. "You're an orphan? This is a place for orphans?"

The girl nodded. "I'm an orphan, and so are you! We've been orphans! You're just too young, I guess." The smile never faded away from her face. "Aren't you happy for me?"

"Of course!" Asher said, "I'm just confused about this whole situation."

The girl's smile finally faded, and she too looked confused. "You're using big words, and you're so little!"

Little? Asher looked at himself, and he noticed how short he was. "How old am I?" he asked, curious.

"Why, you're five years old, of course!" the girl said, "Don't you know that?"

Little? Five years old? Asher knew he was adopted now, but he was still confused to the point where his head was hurting even worse.

"Asher?" The girl asked, tilting her head in confusion.

Asher closed his eyes again, making his world go black again...

-----------

"Asher?" A familiar voice asked.

Asher opened his eyes to find himself on a beach. The sun was blazing hot, showing that the storm had disappeared. The calm waves were hitting his legs, and he could see his pokemon still knocked out beside him. He turned his head to see Mr. Briney and a swimmer. The swimmer was gorgeous with her long, flowing orange hair and her light blue bikini. But, of course, she would never be as gorgeous as Bennie.

"He's awake!" Mr. Briney exclaimed, "Thank you for saving us, kind lady!"

The swimmer beamed. "No problem! The rough seas don't bother my Kingdra at all. She lives for swimming, no matter what kind of water it is."

"Well, thank you again," Mr. Briney said, "I don't really know what to do with my boat, but we couldn't have come here without you."

The swimmer waved a good-bye, sent out her Kingdra, and swam into the sea.

Asher finally managed to get up. "Where are we?" he asked.

Mr. Briney smiled. "Up north is Slateport City. While we were all passed out, we landed on that island I told you about, and that swimmer happened to be there. When I woke up, she offered to take us all to Slateport City with the help of her pokemon. So, here we are! There's a shipyard here, so I should be continuing my ferry services soon. My other ship is a wreck, but no worries. Enjoy your time in Slateport!"

Asher's face lit up as he walked around and saw all the tourists laying on the beach, drinking Soda Pop and playing in the sand. His other pokemon followed him while he was walking around the beach. He came across some steps, climbed up them, and saw the beautiful Slateport City.

 

[Lufenium]

So far, this has been really enjoyable to read. Some of the chapters are a bit short, but that's not a bad thing.

Everyone's pointed out what I would have - it's rather fast paced and you could put a bit more depth and time into places and battles. It's nit-picky, but it makes it feel more realistic and engrossing. It'd also open a lot of opportunities story-wise for you.

Belle getting killed in the Gym battle genuinely tugged a heart-string ;(