- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 69,135
- Reaction score
- 302
Well I'm not one to use quotes since it's hard for me to go back and find the parts but I'll try to make
Chapter 1 was kind of slow for me a bit, but that's because it was an introduction chapter and probably the lenght scared me a little bit. I liked how it set up things though and it was interesting to see Fritz's encounter with the Gyarados or Aporon.
Speaking of Fritz, he's actually someone I've come to like more with every chapter, when I read chapter 1 I originally thought he was a little but suish but you quickly began to develop him in his own way, plus the POV you use allow for a lot of interesting comments and jokes, first person is usually used to describe something that's already happened to the character, but by using it in present tense we can now what he's feeling and how he's thinking at that specific moment rather than him just remembering.
I also liked the team you picked out for him, it seems pretty well balanced and they kind of match with him in a way though I still haven't been able to figure out what the water Pokemon is xD I'm not good at matching up parts in words so it's not your fault.
There are a lot of characters that I'm interested about, such as Reika and why she's how she is, actually she kind of explained it a bit, but I could see a lot of growth in only ten chapters for her, while she's temperamental and has a bit of a short fuse Reika really does care for her friends and her well being.
Another character that caught my interest was Aporon, reason is that he's neither a big brother sort of character but he's also not a bully character, he's like a cross between both and even though he likes to mess around with Fritz it seems as if he's more than just that, the thing that got me to think this was what he did in chapter 8 he could've had one of his crooks go after Fritz but he just let him off and do what he wanted at that moment.
I like the spin that you gave to this fic by implementing real world countries into it, as well as the hint of racism that people tend to have for those of other countries, though the interesting thing is that this actually happens in real life as well, though this will cause more problems for Fritz xD
Well grammar wise you're one of the best honestly xD you have a lot of potential and you beat in me in that a by a landslide xD you also have good description and flow for the story, to me it was a bit hard to catch at first but it was because I've spent a long time without reading but I can say that your story just made me recover a lot of my old reading speed so I thank you for that.
Once again I'll point out the fact that you adding actual academy stuff to an academy fic has actually set it apart cause as I mentioned before most people tend to use this for the sake of the setting, it's a simple basic setting that allows you to do a lot of plots so a lot of people just focus on the plot that they have planned but you've been adding things that actually happen at a school as a secondary theme while you develop the plot, so that's something I like a lot.
With that in mind I'll give you you're rating...give me a second here pls.
This only goes up to chapter ten so the score goes down a bit cause we don't have a full plot yet but it might go up x)
93.6/100
Chapter 1 was kind of slow for me a bit, but that's because it was an introduction chapter and probably the lenght scared me a little bit. I liked how it set up things though and it was interesting to see Fritz's encounter with the Gyarados or Aporon.
Speaking of Fritz, he's actually someone I've come to like more with every chapter, when I read chapter 1 I originally thought he was a little but suish but you quickly began to develop him in his own way, plus the POV you use allow for a lot of interesting comments and jokes, first person is usually used to describe something that's already happened to the character, but by using it in present tense we can now what he's feeling and how he's thinking at that specific moment rather than him just remembering.
I also liked the team you picked out for him, it seems pretty well balanced and they kind of match with him in a way though I still haven't been able to figure out what the water Pokemon is xD I'm not good at matching up parts in words so it's not your fault.
There are a lot of characters that I'm interested about, such as Reika and why she's how she is, actually she kind of explained it a bit, but I could see a lot of growth in only ten chapters for her, while she's temperamental and has a bit of a short fuse Reika really does care for her friends and her well being.
Another character that caught my interest was Aporon, reason is that he's neither a big brother sort of character but he's also not a bully character, he's like a cross between both and even though he likes to mess around with Fritz it seems as if he's more than just that, the thing that got me to think this was what he did in chapter 8 he could've had one of his crooks go after Fritz but he just let him off and do what he wanted at that moment.
I like the spin that you gave to this fic by implementing real world countries into it, as well as the hint of racism that people tend to have for those of other countries, though the interesting thing is that this actually happens in real life as well, though this will cause more problems for Fritz xD
Well grammar wise you're one of the best honestly xD you have a lot of potential and you beat in me in that a by a landslide xD you also have good description and flow for the story, to me it was a bit hard to catch at first but it was because I've spent a long time without reading but I can say that your story just made me recover a lot of my old reading speed so I thank you for that.
Once again I'll point out the fact that you adding actual academy stuff to an academy fic has actually set it apart cause as I mentioned before most people tend to use this for the sake of the setting, it's a simple basic setting that allows you to do a lot of plots so a lot of people just focus on the plot that they have planned but you've been adding things that actually happen at a school as a secondary theme while you develop the plot, so that's something I like a lot.
With that in mind I'll give you you're rating...give me a second here pls.
This only goes up to chapter ten so the score goes down a bit cause we don't have a full plot yet but it might go up x)
93.6/100