TEEN: You Win Some, You Lose Some

[NoirGrimoir]

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Summery: Salem, a seventeen-year-old ghost-type crazed psychic, and Electra, Volkner's fifteen-year old tomboy sister, travel to the Johto league, looking to continue their pokemon journey, with new pokemon, new friends and new challenges. What they didn't expect was to pick up Cherry, an airheaded 'cute-pokemon' fangirl that knows jack-all about pokemon training and Aspen, a brooding, overly serious new trainer who seems to think its his personal mission to protect her. But hey, what's a journey without some surprises and a few hijinks?

Rating: Teen but mostly for language, and for once I don't actually expect it to go up.

Genre: Humor, Adventure, Romance, Slice-Of-Life

Pairings: Original character pairings, Jasmine/Volkner, Morty/Sabrina.

Story Notes: I'm pretty new here, so hello everyone. This is a pokemon fic I've had in the works for a while. It's a mix of anime-verse and game-verse, though mostly the game-verse, in terms of characters and world. The battle set up is closer to the Anime-verse though, since I've always thought it made no sense that pokemon 'forget' attacks in the game. This story has been plotted pretty far ahead, so mostly it's a matter of sitting down and writing the thing but my track record on updates is pretty terrible, so...eh. Cross your fingers. I'm trying to write much shorter chapters than I usually do. As in like half of the size. So hopefully that will help with update speed. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. Feedback is welcome.

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Chapter Index

In Newbark Town:

Chapter One: In Which There Is a Rescue. (Sort of, Not Really.)
Chapter Two: In Which Psychic Powers Are Useless and There Is a Real Rescue.
Chapter Three: In Which Rivals Appear and Aspen Is Informed of the Health Problems Associated with Stress. (Updated!)
Chapter Four: (Coming Soon!)




Also check out this story's Author's Atlas thread, full of character bios and pictures!

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Chapter One: In Which There Is a Rescue. (Sort of, Not Really.)

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[Morning, Route 29, just outside Newbark Town]

Salem had to wonder why every Pokemon Professor liked to set up their labs in nothing-towns out in the middle of nowhere. And not even interesting sorts of nowhere, like next to a volcano or in a rainforest. No, they seemed to like underpopulated villages surrounded by scenery that could only be described as so average and forgettable that they must have gone out of their way to even find such a place.

Additionally, the local fauna were equally as average and forgettable. Wandering around outside of Newbark Town while he waited for Electra to finish her phone call to her brother, Salem had only managed to see more Sentret than he had energy to count, a few low-level birds that looked like Johto's Starly equivalents, and some purple rats that seemed equally as generic. He knew that he'd promised Electra that he wouldn't do anything without her, but he'd have snuck some training in anyway if the Pokedex he'd received from Professor Elm hadn't named all the pokemon species to be normal types, not to mention so weak it would have been a pointless endeavor. As a ghost-type exclusive trainer, battling normal-types was a tricky affair.

Thankfully for his sanity, he was saved from a morning of complete boredom by a sudden scream. It was quite shrill and girly, and hearing it simultaneously annoyed and enlivened him into action. As a male, he had to be ready to leap to a female's rescue at any moment—it was biologically engrained into his Y chromosome whether he liked it or not—so that was what he did.

Darting off the road leading away from Newbark Town, Salem vaulted over a line of bushes, his sudden appearance sending a flock of frantic Pidgey airborne. Tall grass whipped around him as he ducked under some tree branches, leaving the path further behind him. Hearing another scream increased his pace until he finally burst into a clearing. According to his instincts, he was right where he needed to be to perform some heroics.

His sharp eyes analyzed the scene and...were incredibly disappointed.

A vein in his forehead twitched. “The hell are you doing?” he demanded of the damsel.

“Help!” the girl shouted. She looked a couple of years younger than him, her huge eyes wide and frightened. Her back was pressed against a tree as she shrank away, terrified of a Heracross curiously inching closer to her, it's head tilted in friendly fascination. When the beetle pokemon quirked it's head in the other direction, the girl wailed, throwing her arms up as if to protect herself. “Keep it away from me!” she shrieked.

He frowned. Hmm, perhaps 'damsel' wasn't the right word.

“But it's just standing there, it's not even threatening y—” Salem winced as the girl screamed again and made as if to somehow climb the tree with her eyes closed and still facing forward. Which would have been doubly interesting, as she was wearing a skirt.

The pokemon looked over at him innocently, saying, “Heracross~?” What am I doing wrong? Salem just shrugged in response to the pokemon's confusion, feeling embarrassed on the girl's behalf. The Heracross was just being amiable and here she was acting as if it had an infectious skin-eating disease.

The girl hastily felt around on her belt, producing a pokeball which she threw without looking and nearly pelted the horned-beetle in the face. “Save me!” she pleaded, possibly to whatever pokemon was housed within the ball.

Salem wasn't sure whether to feel disdain or sympathy. Actually, no, he just felt disdain.

The pokeball bounced off the ground, opening and emitting a red laser which materialized into a tough-looking Cubone.

“Cuuu~!” the pokemon said, slapping one end of it's bone club into the palm of it's claw.

The ground type cast a take-no-shit glare upon the scene, inspecting its surroundings for potential enemies. Noticing the girl, who screamed and stabbed an accusatory finger at her insect harasser, the Cubone immediately face-faulted into the same kind of that-better-not-be-what-you're-screaming-about expression that Salem had worn upon entering the clearing.

“Bones! Help me!” the girl commanded her pokemon, flapping her arms like a moron.

Bones promptly yawned and turned to laze against a nearby rock. And just to push home the fact that he really didn't give a shit, the Cubone began casually tossing it's bone club in the air and catching it with one claw without looking, just to fill the time as he thoroughly ignored his trainer.

The girl screamed again, louder.

Okay, Salem was just about at his limit on high-pitched, girlish screeching. He either needed to gag this kid or get the Heracross away from her, and since gagging felt too creepy-serial-killer, he'd have to go with the second option.

Salem looked at the Heracross. “I don't suppose you'd back off willingly, would you?” he asked it.

“Hera~!” Make me! the pokemon responded indignantly, taking an aggressive step towards him.

What a change of tune. The pokemon didn't seem to have any intention of leaving the girl alone until she passed out from lack of oxygen due to excessive screaming. Huh, maybe the Heracross wasn't all that innocent in this situation, after all?

Salem shrugged. Alright, it looked like he was about to have his first battle in the Johto region, and despite the circumstances he was excited.

Taking the only pokeball from his belt, he tossed it. “Come on out, Charisma!”

The ball arched through the air to land right next to the Heracross. The insect pokemon, sensing a challenger, jumped back and took a ready stance, a serious expression on its face as it waited for its foe to materialize. Meanwhile the girl continued to scream, though the Heracross was now completely ignoring her.

“Litwick~!” Salem's newly released pokemon declared, immediately in the game and ready for action. Spying the Heracross, the little candle pokemon's blue ghost flame flickered energetically and Charisma yelled, “Lit~!” calling out the other pokemon boldly despite the Heracross being over twice her size and almost twice her level.

It wasn't a perfect strategical match up, Salem knew, but he had faith in the little pokemon. Charisma was sired by two of his most treasured and loyal companions: the Lampent he'd caught and raised in Unova two years ago, and the Dusknoir he'd had since it was a Duskull, caught on his first journey in his homeland of Sinnoh. When choosing a young pokemon to take with him to Johto as his starter, there could be no other. Though their bond was strong, she was still inexperienced, which put her at a disadvantage with the larger and stronger Heracross. Luckily Ghost-types were resistant to Bug-type attacks and immune to any fighting ones, and Charisma's fire attacks would have the advantage. Either way, she was the only pokemon he had on him so far, and this would be good battling experience for her.

“Alright, Charisma, its our first battle in Johto, you ready?” he asked his Litwick.

“Lit~,” she said with a determined nod.

Salem grinned as he called out, “Let's power up with Calm Mind!”

“Litwick~!” His pokemon complied by taking a deep breath, closing it's eyes and focusing until a bright aura expanded from her flame and the pokemon shone with power as her special attack and special defense rose.

The Heracross just watched the whole affair interestedly without attacking, instead shouting “Cross~!” and buckling down with Endure, ready for whatever the Litwick had in store. It was probably testing its opponent's strength, Salem suspected.

Once Charisma was powered up, Salem called out, “Alright, now lets get things started with a Smog and Astonish combo!”

“Lit~!” Charisma's blue flame flickered before a cloud of dark smoke fumed from it's tip and engulfed the Heracross in a foul miasma.

The enemy pokemon coughed and closed it's eyes against the poisonous vapors, unable to pay attention to its surroundings even if the bug could have seen them. Finally the Heracross unfurled its delicate wings, rapidly flapping them to disperse the smog before it could be affected by the gases.

“Cross~?” the bug pokemon said once it could see again. It's opponent was mysteriously absent from his view.

Suddenly the Heracross leaped back in fright as Salem's Litwick appeared as if from nowhere, pulling down her lower lids and sticking out her tongue in a face that was supposed to be scary but was mostly just cute. Whatever, it did it's job in startling the bejeezus out of the beetle pokemon.

“Good job, Charisma!” Salem said to his pokemon. “Let's keep up the pace!”

The Heracross recovered quickly. “Hera~cross~!” the pokemon shouted, annoyed, and then began to build up a glowing attack in one claw.

Salem grimaced. “Oh, shit.” This was bad. Night Slash was a Dark-type move, and Ghosts-types were weak to Dark-type attacks. Not only that, but Litwick were not fast pokemon, dodging it was an impossibility. Salem felt like banging his head against a rock for being so dumb as to forget Heracross learned that move. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

“Confuse Ray, Charisma, quick!” he commanded and his pokemon was right with him.

“Wick~!” she affirmed.

The Heracross adopted a focused gaze, it's claw now shining with a dark, eerie light. As the ghost pokemon's flame flickered and split off into a bright orb, hurtling towards her attacker, the beetle continued it's stampede, raising it's claw to perform the Night Slash. The candle pokemon reacted like a seasoned battler, not even flinching as the huge beetle rushed to attack, hitting the Confuse Ray head on. The Heracross immediately went cross-eyed and stumbled in it's charge, sliding along the ground and kicking up gravel and weeds, justmissing the little ghost.

Salem sighed in relief. Was it silly to say his heart was beating out of his chest with nerves? Ugh, he felt like a parent taking their kid to their first day of kindergarten. Only, you know, the parent didn't usually expect the kids there to be twice their child's size and out to knock them unconscious. Or hopefully they didn't. That would sure be a scary kindergarten...

Only an instant later, the Heracross stood up from the ground, shaking it's head clear of the confusion.

“That was a close one there, Charisma, great job,” Salem encouraged his pokemon, though he found the Heracross's recovery speed from the Confuse Ray to be incredibly unfair. “Now, before it turns around, give it an Ember attack!”

“Lit~wick~!” Charisma's little flame blazed up and spurted burning embers in all directions. The Heracross threw up it's arms to ward them off but was still badly burned.

“Cross~!” the Heracross shouted angrily. Beating its wings so fast they thrummed, it flew into the air. One moment it was hovering above the clearing, the next it dove on the Litwick from the sky, swooping in fast for an Aerial Ace.

Lightning quick, Salem considered the situation. As a flying-type move, Aerial Ace wasn't especially effective against his pokemon, but her low level meant every bit of fatigue or injury was crucial to avoid. She couldn't withstand this kind of brutal attack for long, even if she wasn't weak to it. “Another Ember attack, Charisma, try and keep it away from you!” he ordered.

Charisma complied, shaking glowing sparks into the air, but the Heracross continued it's line of attack, ignoring the embers wafting around the ghost in a protective haze. Embers flew up into the beetle's face, clearly doing damage, but it didn't slow down in the least.

“Wick...” his pokemon murmured nervously, her confidence beginning to wane.

“Charisma, quick, get out of the way!” Salem yelled frantically, but he knew she wouldn't be able to.

A cloud of dust kicked up from the attacking pokemon's velocity as it hurtled through the air, just above the ground. The Litwick made a desperate leap to the side as the Heracross sped towards her like a jet, but it wasn't enough to throw her clear completely. The Heracross winged the candle pokemon on the arm, throwing her across the clearing with it's formidable horn.

“Wi~ick~!” she cried out nursing her injuries and the bug looped up in it's swoop, away from her.

“Charisma!” Salem leaped to his pokemon's side immediately, for an instant fearing the worst. He was beginning to regret his decision to have her battle an obviously stronger opponent. “Are you okay?”

Charisma nodded but her face was tense as she gave the affirmative. Tears had filled the little pokemon's eyes from the pain of her injury but her expression became more determined than ever. She was hurting but it would take more than this to keep her out of the fight. His call for her to return died before it left his lips. There was no way he could stop her from finishing this battle.

Salem sighed. Okay, they could still do this.

“Cross~cross~!” the Heracross angrily taunted from the air.

If it thought it was safe up there, it was wrong. “Charisma, let's finish this. Give it a taste of your Fire Spin!” Salem commanded.

“Lit~!” she said and her ghost-flame flared up as she took a breath like an opening bellows and blew bright orange fire at the Heracrcoss. The opponent cried out from it's burns and flew higher in an attempt to get away from the whirlwind of fire. It dove and looped through the air, trying to escape, but Charisma sent her flames after it, not letting it get away until finally her breath ran out and she had to stop her fiery onslaught.

If the bug pokemon wasn't pissed before, it definitely was now. Salem could tell by the way it was stringing curses together in pokemon-speech and making some pretty vulgar suggestions that Salem could honestly say had never been said to him by a pokemon before. People, sure, but not pokemon.

“This thing really doesn't know when to give up, does it?” he said and Charisma gave a “Lit~!” of agreement.

“Cross~!” the insect called in frustration and flung out it's claw, preparing another Night Slash.

Damn, this was a pretty smart bug. It had known not to use any of it's normal or fighting-type attacks without even having to try them. Whatever else it was, the pokemon seemed to be an experienced battler. Salem bit his lip as he rapidly considered their options, though there really weren't any good ones. One hit from that attack and it would be all over for his brave little Litwick.

He commanded, “Charisma, it's trying to use Night Slash again, trap it with another Fire Spin!”

The candle pokemon gave a, “Lit~!” of understanding and as the Heracross began it's descent from the air to slash her, the ghost pokemon puffed up it's chest before releasing another bright ribbon of flames in the bug's direction.

But the Heracross was ready, and used it's speed to dodge the wreath of fire, coming at the other pokemon from the side. Salem yelled for Charisma to dodge, but it was clear the little ghost wouldn't have enough time. Instantly he felt horrible guilt. Salem should have known better than to bring the new pokemon out to battle a much stronger opponent, and Charisma was going to get badly hurt because of his miscalculation.

“Cuu~bone~!”

Salem frowned. Huh?

The screaming girl's Cubone, Bones, had suddenly appeared in front of the flinching Charisma, it's orange claw held out to casually block the bug pokemon's attack with ease.

The Heracross leaped back to glare down the skull-wearing pokemon, who was eying the beetle with haughty contempt.

“Bone~!” the Cubone accused it's opponent, who spat out, “Heracross~!” back.

Pointing it's bone club at the bug pokemon menacingly, Bones delivered a litany of 'Cubone~!'s that amounted to the promise of a beat-down with the club should the Heracross make a move.

“You do realize that Heracross is resistant to ground attacks, right?” Salem interjected between the battling pokemon's verbal argument.

Bones stabbed his club at the meddling trainer and angrily spat, “Bone~!” Shut up!

“Geez, fine,” Salem grumbled and rolled his eyes. Apparently his assistance was unwanted. Not that the pokemon seemed to need it by the way it was handling the Heracross, but hey, he was a trainer—giving advice from the sidelines was kind of his job description.

The Heracross huffed, smoke practically coming out of it's ears as it rushed in with a glowing Horn Attack. The Cubone leveled it's club, aimed, and threw.

The bone zoomed end over end, pinwheeling directly into the bug pokemon, striking it with precision force directly in the center of it's forehead. The Heracross's eyes rolled up in their sockets and the pokemon fell from the air in a dead faint. The bone club swung back and Bones deftly caught it without even looking.

“Bone~!” he said with a definitive nod. And stay down!

Salem started an obnoxious slow clap that his Litwick joined a moment later.

“Cuu~bone~!” the Cubone whipped around to snap at the trainer, making a threatening move with his club.

Salem shrugged. “Hey, you expect me to be impressed? Charisma wore it down for you.” Not that Salem wasn't grateful that the pokemon had stepped in when he did, but he wasn't digging the attitude.

“Lit~!” Charisma agreed with a nod, albeit it a bit more diplomatically, before wincing and holding her battered arm against her.

The Cubone stuck it's nose in the air. “Buh-bone~!” See if I ever help you again.

Salem ignored the grouchy pokemon and tended to his own. Walking over to kneel down next to his trooper and look her over, he found that the injury wasn't pretty but nothing that urgently needed a pokemon center. Some healing items and a good rest in her ball should do the trick.

“Oh man, I'm sorry Charisma. I'll give it a good spray of potion,” he told her, rummaging in his satchel for the item. The ghost pokemon gave a, “Lit~!” that was possibly more pitiful than the wound warranted, and held out her arm for medication and sympathy.

“That was amazing!” Salem heard and looked up from his pokemon to see the girl he'd just...er, saved? She hadn't really been in any danger from that Heracross...and her Cubone ended up finishing it off so...eh, whatever, he wouldn't think too hard about it. A victory was a victory, after all.

Now that she wasn't making his ears bleed with gratuitous screaming, Salem took the time to examine her properly.

The girl was just a kid, thirteen or fourteen, with wild, strawberry-colored shoulder-length hair and the biggest, most naive pink eyes he'd ever seen. To be perfectly frank, she looked like an air-headed ditz, which meant there was either a complete genius hiding under the facade or she was exactly what she seemed. Salem wasn't one to judge (much), but the way she'd handled that Heracross lead him to suspect the latter. While she might just be completely phobic of Heracross, experience meeting a lot of different trainers told him that she knew jack-shit about pokemon, despite how well her Cubone performed. The girl was also wearing a skirt over calf-length black leggings and sandals, and while some girls were silly enough to go on pokemon journeys wearing skirts, most were at least smart enough to wear comfortable shoes. On that note, he was guessing this girl was a new trainer. If she'd been doing this very long she'd have purchased some new footwear by now.

“Yeah, Charisma did really well,” he answered her, mostly for his pokemon's benefit. He gave Charisma's arm a good misting with the potion spray and the pokemon blew on it to ease the burning sensation as it healed her wounds.

“I wish I could battle like that,” the girl said forlornly, looking down at her feet. Tears started pooling in the corners of her eyes and she sniffled. “Everyone thinks I'm dumb, that I can't do anything right, but I really want to be a trainer. I want to show everyone I can be strong, too!”

Salem's eyes widened in panic. Whoa, hold up. He had not signed on for this.

“No, uh...I'm sure you can be,” he stuttered hastily, scratching his head. “I mean, look at your Cubone, he's pretty tough.”

Bones said, “Cuu~!” and puffed out his chest.

The girl sniffled again. “He's—sniffle—not mine, he's my big sister's,” she gurgled and then burst into full-fledged sobs.

Salem winced. Well, shit.

“Litwick~!” Charisma looked up at him and gave her trainer a glare of disapproval as if this were all his fault. Which it totally wasn't, but at least his pokemon was feeling better if it could make the effort to scold him.

“Well, uh...” Salem trailed off, trying to think of something to say. “Well, what's your name?” was the best he could come up with.

“Sniffle—it's Cherry—sniffle,” the girl replied, rubbing at her eyes, still leaking tears.

Okay, they were making progress. Maybe. “So, uh, Cherry,” Salem began, “I'm guessing you're a new trainer.”

She nodded from behind her hands and answered with a watery sound that might have been a 'yes'. Salem sighed in relief. He had the perfect speech ready to plug up those waterworks.

“Hey, it takes time and experience to be a good battler,” he explained to Cherry with a comforting hand on her shoulder, using the same voice he adopted to console the new junior trainers that were afraid they couldn't hack it, back when he was one himself in Hearthome City under Fantina. “You can't expect to be an expert at it on your first try. So don't worry about. I'm sure you'll catch on to it in no time.”

Cherry perked up from behind her hands, giving him puffy but hope-filled eyes. “You—sniffle—really think so?” she asked him.

“Yeah, definitely,” Salem assured her with a smile and an encouraging thumbs up.'No time' might have been an overstatement in Cherry's case, but he wanted her to stop crying. Lying was not beneath his dignity.

From next to Cherry, her sister's Cubone rolled it's eyes and spat, “Bone~!” It was definitely not a sound of agreement, but the girl seemed to take it that way. She gave a last sob and wiped her eyes, looking much happier. Since this was really all Salem cared about he didn't bother pointing out that her sister's Cubone thought she was an idiot.

“Thanks,” she said with a bright smile, then held out her hand. “I'm Cherry.” (Yeah, you said that already...).“I live in Newbark Town,” she added as if this was supposed to matter to him.

Salem's lip twitched as he fought to hold his smile, which wanted to melt into a frown of exasperation. “I'm Salem, from Sunyshore, in Sinnoh,” he told her, taking her offered hand. He tried to shake it properly but she wasn't helping at all, it just sat in his hand limp like a dead fish. Ugh.

At the word 'Sinnoh', Cherry gasped, her eyes glittering. “Ahh! They have Pachirisu in Sinnoh!” she squealed. “They are so cute. I really want one!”

A vein in Salem's forehead twitched. Oh God, not a 'cute pokemon' fan. He really hated that kind of superficial trainer.

She gasped again, and put her hands together excitedly. “Oh my goodness, you don't actually have one do you?!” she demanded to know. Her normally big eyes were now approximately the size of saucers. Big, sparkly, frightening saucers.

He was going to have to disappoint her, but at this point he wasn't sure if that was safe. “No, I'm a ghost-type specialist,” Salem informed her, leaning away from the crazed pokemon fangirl like she had rabies. He was almost a head taller than her but that apparently wasn't enough to deter her from getting in his face on tip-toe.

Cherry sat back on her heels. “Oh,” she said disappointingly. “Ghost pokemon aren't very cute.”

Salem's polite smile abruptly snapped into a scowl. Oh, she did not just insult Ghost-type pokemon in front of him.

“Take that back!” he demanded vehemently. Scooping up the confused Charisma, he held her in front of him. “Ghost pokemon are extremely cute! Just look at Charisma, here!”

“Lit~!” Charisma agreed, preening.

“See? Fucking adorable as hell!”

Cherry blinked at the little ghost curiously. “I've never seen that type of pokemon before,” she said and it didn't surprise him in the least. Hell, she'd probably never watched anything even remotely educational about pokemon on TV in her life, much less picked up a book on the subject. Probably wasting her time watching The Real Housewives of Celadon City or some useless shit like that.

She swung a heart-shaped mini backpack off her shoulder, stuck her hand inside, and pulled out a pokedex. Awkwardly pointing it like someone who wasn't used to using one and thought it was some super-complicated piece of equipment (which it wasn't), she pressed the scan button. A little light flashed and the top flipped open showing a picture of a Litwick on the screen.

“Litwick, the Candle Pokemon,” Dexter said in a mechanical voice. “It shines a light that absorbs the life energy of people and Pokémon, which becomes the fuel that it burns.”

Cherry's eyes widened in fright, eying the innocent little ghost pokemon's blue-purple flame. “Lit~! Lit~wick~!” Charisma said amiably. She liked making friends, even with air-headed ditzes, a behavior which he didn't really understand but until now hadn't minded.

“She's a soul burning machine,” Salem told Cherry gravely. More because it was hilarious than because it was true. It wasn't as if Charisma was going to leach out the girl's energy right that moment.

“Um, oh,” Cherry whispered timidly and slowly backed away. Charisma wilted, crying, “Wick~?” sadly at the rejection.

Salem rolled his eyes. “I'm kidding, she's harmless.” Well, unless you pissed her off, but since Charisma loved everyone that was actually pretty difficult.

He hugged his Litwick, both to cheer her up and because he was just that insanely in love with Ghost-type pokemon. “Wiiick~!” Charisma said happily and rubbed his face with hers. So cute! Who the hell said Ghost pokemon were anything but completely adorable? Salem ought to drop kick this chick into a whole colony of hellaciously affectionate Heracross.

“Buh-bone~! Cuu~bone~! Bone~!” Bones complained. He didn't like anything remotely mushy. He also didn't like stupid humans wasting his time. Salem vaguely wondered if the pokemon actually had anything better to do.

“But anyways,” Salem said, “what are you doing out here in the middle of the woods with your older sister's Cubone?”

Cherry looked down, ashamed at her incompetence. “She let me borrow him to catch a Sentret to be my starter pokemon,” she said and held up a few unused pokeballs as proof.

He raised an eyebrow. “A Sentret? Really? That's the pokemon you want as a starter?” The thing about starter pokemon was that you could either supply your own or go through the starter program, in which case you got to choose from three pokemon which were different from league to league. It was a pretty good deal if you didn't have access to any pokemon that you liked better. The pokemon were rare and pretty powerful, not like a stupid Sentret (not that Sentret were stupid, they were just mediocre and abundant and not ghost type, so he wasn't interested). The hell kind of brain damage did this chick have?

Oblivious to his disapproval, Cherry nodded and clapped her hands together with a grin as she squealed. “They are so cute!”

Salem face-faulted. Oh, of course.

“Right...,” Salem trailed off skeptically. He didn't think they were all that cute, but then there were a million of the things running around here. He suspected that they were probably considered nuisances by most people. And really, a Sentret? It was almost sad.

Cherry sighed and gave a sniffle as new tears sprouted in her eyes. “I guess it's just as well the Heracross showed up. I don't really know what I'm doing—sniff.”

Oh hell no. There wouldn't be anymore waterworks if Salem had anything to say about it. It was annoying and unfair!

“Well that's easy enough to fix,” Salem told her quickly. “I saw about twenty of those damn things scampering around back along the path that way. Grab Bones and I'll help you.”

Cherry looked up, excited. “Really? You'd do that?”

“Sure, now let's go,” he said, recalled his pokemon and grabbed Cherry by the wrist to drag her back towards the road before she thought up something else to cry about.

---

[Meanwhile, back on the outskirts of Newbark Town...]

Electra was pretty damn pissed. Salem had very specifically told her he'd be waiting just outside of the small town after she finished her phone call with her brother. Now her call was over, and she was waiting, right outside of town, just as they'd agreed, and he was nowhere to be seen!

“So typical...,” she complained to herself. Knowing him, Salem probably thought he'd seen something that could, maybe, possibly, almost-have-been a ghost pokemon and taken off after it or something. She swore when it came to anything other than ghost types the guy's attention span was nonexistent these days.

The trainer paced in a circle, hoping her friend would magically pop up from behind a bush somehow. When nothing of the kind occurred she wasn't especially surprised but she was even more annoyed.

Electra stomped her foot angrily. Ugh! Some best friend he was, ditching her like this. This was supposed to be their adventure, together. Not another replay of 'See you, Electra, while I go off and have fun without you in Unova!'

She sighed, contemplating the ground that was so very lacking in Salem right now.

Electra remembered how lonely she'd felt the last few years. Sunyshore was a big city, but it had somehow seemed like there weren't a lot of kids around her age. Or at least none that understood her. She was a tomboy, electric-pokemon crazed and idolizing her big brother, Volkner, the Elite trainer and Gym leader, as well his best friend, Elite Four member Flint.

They were so cool, and she was just the tag-along kid who couldn't seem to fit in anywhere at the local elementary school. She didn't like playing dolls with the prissy girls and most of the boys didn't want a girl around while they banged Blastoise figures together and jumped in the mud. She was too hyperactive to sit down and read or doodle or any of those things with the quiet kids and she was too social to stick it out as a loner. Everyone else seemed to think she was stuck up because her brother was a Gym Leader. Kids could be cruel, not that they knew any better.

Enter Salem. He'd been two years older than her, which by default meant he should have been too cool to even look down his nose at someone her age, but for some reason he wasn't. It had made her really happy, that one day during recess, when he plopped in front of her and unilaterally decided that they were going to play-act as pokemon. She didn't even know him, but it didn't really matter because she was totally down with that idea. He could have been a Grimer and she'd have still leaped for it.

That day they ran around like idiots—her playing an arm-flapping Zapdos, him a bow-legged Alakazam. When he walked her home from school that afternoon, she was a not-very-scary-looking Electabuzz and he'd taken to saying “Hypno! Hypno!” while pretending to swing a pendulum. The rest was history.

She didn't know till later that he was 'The Weird Kid', not exactly a social outcast but enough of an oddball not to be paired off with any particular group of people. Most everyone liked him well enough, but no one was really very close. He was a psychic, like Saffron City's Sabrina, or Ecruteak's Morty, but listening to him you'd think it was nothing special. It was just a random skill he had, like being able to lick your elbow or burp the alphabet. It was just useful for him, since he wanted to be a pokemon trainer and being a little telepathic really helped in raising some pokemon, like Psychic and Ghost types. The whole Ghost-mania thing came later.

They'd been two peas in a pod ever since. Always at one-another's houses, they had each others' backs when the school bully came around, (Salem screamed like a girl while she kicked the kid in the shins, it was a real double-team). They supported each other in their dreams of pokemon fame, argued over the superiority of Electric vs. Ghost types (Electric were still the best, of course), and got told off by her brother for reeking havoc in his gym when he was trying to renovate it. Good times.

But then he just had to mess everything up by leaving! Fourteen, and he went and challenged the Sinnoh league without her, while she sat around in boring old Sunyshore, minus one best friend, trying to convince her father and older brother that she was old enough to be a trainer and travel the world, (apparently there was a downside to being “Daddy's baby girl.”). Ten-year-olds got to go on pokemon journeys alone and she was twelve, plenty old enough, but try telling them that! Her dad, the former sea captain and current Port Commissioner, just frowned every time she brought it up and Volkner flat-out forbade her, (as if he had a right to tell her what to do!)

Meanwhile, Salem worked his way up the gym roster, gallivanting around with some people she didn't even know! Salem was going to forget about her, she just knew it. He'd be a great trainer, have all kinds of friends and cool pokemon and get famous and she'd be left with nothing. Even his visit to Sunyshore to challenge her brother (while using certified gym-level pokemon, it wasn't as if Salem could win against her brother if Volkner went all out) didn't reassure her. It really hit home that he was older than her and she didn't really have any business associating with him, she should be with kids her own age. It was just that none of the kids her age were Salem.

She watched his battles at the Sinnoh Conference, cheered for him, been really proud when he managed to place in the Top 16, but it wasn't the same as being there. She wanted to battle too, it just wasn't fair!

Another year, another league for Salem and another round of begging and pleading and crying and whining for her brother and father to let her be a trainer. Electra pulled out all the stops, she brought her mom in to work on her father (Mom was good for things like that), and got her brother's best friend Flint and his younger brother Buck in on the scheme. She even worked pranks she'd sworn to never pull again on pain of grounding for eternity, in protest of the inhumane treatment. It was a long, harsh battle, but eventually she got her way. Her father relented and her brother was made to deal with the decision. By the time the Unova Conference special played on the TV she was bouncing off the walls, fantasizing about her own journey.

Salem placed in the Top 16 again, representing Sunyshore well and promising to spend a year at home. Electra already had a vague idea that, even though he'd already done the Sinnoh league, he'd still travel with her somehow, but that ended up being a naive dream. Until this point Salem had used mixed pokemon teams that tended towards psychic, ghost and dark-types with the occasional oddball for good measure. He'd always praised ghost-types as his favorite but until he'd gotten back from Unova, being a specialist hadn't seemed to be on his radar. But not his first day back and his mind was made up. Electra started her journey, traveling with a group of kids she'd met at Professor Rowan's and Salem had been accepted as a junior trainer under Fantina, the Ghost gym leader in Hearthome, studying and taking care of Ghost-type pokemon.

It had been fun. She'd learned a lot, but it just wasn't the same. Something still wasn't right.

After the Sinnoh conference was over, she'd taken the early bus to Hearthome City, marched into the gym passed Fantina, who was practicing for a pokemon contest, ignored the, “Hey, Electra,” from Daver, one of the other junior trainers for the gym, and kicked down the dormitory door like it was made of graham cracker.

“Salem Murkins! Get your ass out here!” she'd demanded, hands on her hips and determination in her eyes.

“Nuwah?” he mumbled wincing from the light before trying to burrow further beneath his covers. He was half asleep, still in his bunk at ten in the morning. Floating next to him above the bed, curled up in a sleeping position, his Gengar protested at the sudden intrusion.

“Gengar~Gengar~!” the pokemon complained. Electra had just woken him up apparently. She'd always considered the Gengar to be a bit sarcastic and snappish, even without Salem's occasional translations, and Electra suspected the ghost pokemon was cursing at her with the foulest language it knew. She wasn't psychic though, so she couldn't know for sure.

“Sorry, Fog,” she apologized, but the Gengar didn't look like it had forgiven her. Whatever, she'd make it up to him later.

Salem sat up slowly in his bed and rubbed his face as Electra stalked into the room and glared down at her best friend, considering punching him in the shoulder just to wake him up faster.

“Hm? 'Lectra? Whatcha doin' here?” Salem said, blinking his eyes at her sleepily, speech slurred almost beyond comprehension.

“You are coming with me to the Johto league, whether you like it or not,” she announced, tone leaving no room for argument, not that he was conscious enough to even know that he might want to argue.

Salem frowned and made a face. “The Johto-what?”

Electra rolled her eyes. “The Johto league? You know, one of those pokemon gym leagues neither of us has been to yet?”

Her friend made a face right back. “Yeah, I know what it is, I'm just confused...”

“Gar~! Gengar~!”Fog complained, hovering in the air on his side, propping his head up with a claw, and watching the conversation with a look of irritated boredom.

“Hey, shut up,” Salem told his pokemon, wearing an alarmed expression. Electra didn't even want to know what he'd said.

Used to it, Electra ignored the bad-tempered ghoul and continued talking to Salem. “What's there to be confused about? We're going, you and me. Together.”

“Well, for starters, what are you doing in my room?” he asked, then added, “Wait, we are still in Hearthome City, right? I've never really had a problem with teleporting in my sleep. Mostly because I suck at teleporting.”

Electra considered smacking herself in the face, or maybe smacking Salem in the face, but his Gengar was on it and yelled various 'Gengar~!'s at it's trainer that didn't sound very complimentary.

“Ugh! Pay attention, Salem!” Electra said. “You're in Hearthome and this is Daver's and your room at the Gym, why would you teleport into a room that happened to look exactly like it, with your Gengar here?”

“That...is a good point,” he answered between his Gengar pulling on his cheek as some sort of punishment.

Electra nodded to herself. “So, I just came to tell you that we're going, in one month.”

Salem rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Johto, huh? Why there, isn't Kanto closer?”

“Because my brother is going there to see Jasmine while we'll be there,” she explained. “Also because I really want a Mareep and a Chinchou.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “You and Chinchou...”

Electra made a face. “They're cool!” she defended.

“They're, like...electric-type,” Salem mused obtusely, and Electra suspected most of his brain was still asleep. “But also water-type. In one. But they're opposites. It shouldn't be possible.”

Electra sighed and shook her head. Salem could be really smart but he could also be phenomenally dumb. “I'd ask if you're on drugs but you're always like this in the mornings. Besides, you have a Sableye, it's Ghost and Dark type, it's a complete contradiction.”

Salem perked up at the mention of his Sableye and Electra immediately knew she'd made a mistake in bringing up ghost pokemon in even a tangential way. She'd never get him off the topic now.

“Ah, Jewel my Sableye, how I love you so...” he cued hugging an imaginary Sableye as he thought about the real pokemon which was probably somewhere in the building right this moment raising hell, as the trickster was wont to do. “Hey, did you know that I had to battle this prick from Hoenn to make him trade for her? He didn't know how to take care of a ghost-type properly at all!”

“I've heard the story like five times,” she deadpanned.

“It's an epic story, right?”

Electra had sighed and walked out of his room. “Whatever. I'm going to watch Fantina practice until you wake up properly.”

And the rest was recent history. Now they were both (supposed to be) on their first league journey together as traveling companions—but of course he wasn't around.

Ugh, if Electra had known Salem was going to ditch her the first chance he got, she would have put a leash on the guy as soon as they stepped off the ferry...

“Cherry!” she heard someone call out. A few seconds later the call was repeated, from closer. “Che-erry!”

The heck was going on? Electra looked behind her to spy a boy trotting along the path from town, worriedly calling out in all directions as if looking for someone. The boy saw Electra standing in the path and ran over.

“Hey, excuse me,” he said, stopping in front of her and pausing to catch his breath, as she responded with with an interested, 'Yeah?'

The boy looked about fourteen and ready for some hard journeying. His hair was pale and kept back from his eyes by a sideways twisted black visor with the official pokemon league symbol on its bill. His clothes were layered and durable: a light long-sleeved T-shirt with a short sleeved button-up thrown over it, and those pants that had more pockets than anyone could possibly need with zippers to turn them into shorts. Electra was guessing he was a trainer, though how experienced she couldn't tell.

“Have you seen a pink-haired girl about my age around here?” the boy asked her.

Electra didn't even have to think about it. She'd seen no one and nothing but Sentret, Pidgey, and foliage since she'd left the town. Which was the problem, really.

“No, I haven't seen anybody,” she told him with a shrug. “I'm actually waiting for a friend who was supposed to meet me here, but he still hasn't shown up either...”

The boy's expression became grim as he said, “Damn,” and then frowned at the road in consideration. “Cherry and I both live in New Bark. She told me she was coming out here to catch a Sentret, but that was hours ago and she still hasn't come back. I was getting worried so I came to look for her,” he explained.

Electra eyed the idyllic scenery with its quaint road, rolling meadows covered in wildflowers and bright, airy woods. Dangerous wilderness it was not. It certainly didn't look as dangerous as Eterna Forest or the Great Marsh back in Sinnoh, anyway. The various small pokemon who would ordinarily be nothing but snacks to larger ones in her experience, were openly traipsing around in the grass along the road, not a care in the world. If the pokemon who actually lived here didn't think the place had any hazardous creatures about then there was no reason she should. They were the ones that ought to know, after all. Their lives depended on it.

“I don't know the area,” Electra confessed to the boy, “but it looks like mostly lower level pokemon tend to hang out on this route, so she's probably fine.”

“Hopefully,” the boy said, not sounding confident. Electra was a bit confused by this. Did he know something she didn't or was he just paranoid or over-protective? Was he the girl's brother? Or maybe her boyfriend?

Trying to reassure him, Electra said, “I wouldn't worry about her. I mean, what are the chances that some big, scary-something would pop out and attack an innocent traveler walking out of—”

Slink...rustle...rustle, rustle...slink...snap!

Electra whipped around, her senses alert. The boy flinched as well, eying their surroundings warily. Whatever they'd just heard moving around didn't sound like a Sentret or a Pidgey, but something bigger. Much bigger.

Scanning a copse of trees that suddenly looked a lot more sinister, she watched as a heavy branch shook and the foliage beneath them made way for something cloaked in shadows.

She stabbed a finger at the unidentified creature, slinking around in the shade of the trees.“What the heck is that?” she demanded.

Her companion swallowed nervously as he squinted at whatever was being obscured by a dark shadow cast by the branches of a lopsided tree. “I'm not sure....,” he said and pulled out a pokedex from one of his many pockets and pointed it at the huge swathe of darkness uncoiling from behind a tree trunk. The pokedex scanned the unidentified pokemon and made a ding! sound as it brought up a picture on the screen.

“Arbok, the Cobra Pokemon,” the machine said, displaying a picture of a huge snake. “The pattern on its belly is for intimidation. It constricts foes when they are frozen in fear.”

Electra had never met an Arbok in the wild, but she'd watched Professor Oak's highly informative television show on TPN, The Pokemon Network, enough to know that the results of such a meeting could be dangerous. As in anything that met it tended to become snake food.

Great. Just Perfect. She was about to be eaten by the biggest goddamn snake she'd ever seen in her life, and Salem wasn't even there to be eaten with her. If she lived through this, he was so getting a kick to the face...

Her eye twitched as the pokemon's serpentine purple tail—an appendage that was easily thicker than her waist—passed through a patch of sunlight, confirming the mystery animal's identity. An instant later, hungry, reflective red eyes materialized in the dark hollow.

“The hell is that doing here?” she whispered shrilly to her fellow prey, both of them transfixed by the glowing eyes, praying to God or Buddha or Arceus or whoever the hell that the giant snake would just slither on its way.

“I...I think it might have wandered over from Route 27, the road leading in the other direction from town. There are a lot of strong pokemon down that way,” boy speculated, taking a slow, fearful step backwards without letting his eyes glance away from the hidden Arbok currently stalking them.

“I don't actually care where it came from, kid. I just have no idea what the heck we're supposed to do about this thing before it eats us.”

The boy frowned. “My name is Aspen, not kid.”

Electra rolled her eyes. They were about to die and he was annoyed that she'd called him 'kid'? What was up with this generation? Its priorities were all out of whack.

“Well, nice to meet you, I'm Electra,” she told him sarcastically. “Got any ideas on how to stay alive, Aspen?”

They both watched as the Arbok slithered out from beneath the shade of the trees, uncoiling its massive body and splaying it's hood as it raised up on it's stomach to eye its surroundings.

Aspen looked over at her for help. “Uh...I don't suppose you have a pokemon strong enough to battle it, do you?”

“Yeah, but they're all back in Sinnoh,” she answered, wishing it weren't the case. She didn't care how high of a level that Arbok was, against Echo, her Magneton back at home, this snake wouldn't stand a chance. “All I have with me is my Shinx and the egg my brother just transferred to me. You?”

Aspen looked sort of green as he admitted, “I just got my Totodile today. It hasn't even had a battle yet. Hell, I haven't even named it yet.”

“Well, fuck.” That was really all there was to say.

The giant snake spied them and its forked tongue flicked out, tasting the air. “Sssha~! Sshaaar~bok~!” it hissed and opened its mouth to reveal fangs approximately the size of epidermic needles. Yeah, she wasn't liking the looks of that at all.

“And that's our cue to run,” Electra said.

“Huh?”

Electra grabbed Aspen by the arm and yelled, “Run!” dragging him after her as she did the only thing she could think of that might possibly give them a chance.

---

Event Summery:

• Bones and Charisma defeated Heracross!
• Bones received experience!
• Salem's Charisma received experience!
• Salem's Charisma became level 12!
• Electra and Aspen encountered a Wild Arbok!

 

[Cosmos]

Well first let me just give you some serious props. I really liked the story and your characters. Plus I really laughed, it was funny.

Salem had to wonder why every Pokemon Professor liked to set up their labs in nothing-towns out in the middle of nowhere. And not even interesting sorts of nowhere, like next to a volcano or in a rainforest. No, they seemed to like underpopulated villages surrounded by scenery that could only be described as so average and forgettable that they must have gone out of their way to even find such a place.

Oh my gosh, just yes. This whole paragraph was just a win and it caught my attention right away. I thought it was a good way to start everything off as it was a general thought I'm sure many of us have thought and set the mood nicely.

It was quite shrill and girly, and hearing it simultaneously annoyed and enlivened him into action. As a male, he had to be ready to leap to a female's rescue at any moment—it was biologically engrained into his Y chromosome whether he liked it or not—so that was what he did.

This was just brilliant. I liked how you made it like instinctual but at the same time he only complied because he was so bored.

Salem wasn't sure whether to feel disdain or sympathy. Actually, no, he just felt disdain.

I LOL'ed

“See? Fucking adorable as hell!”

Stop, just stop. Oh my gosh that line killed me.

Okay I'm goning stop quoting because it'd take up way to much space.

This was really well written. I could only find two mistakes and they were most likely just typos. Nothing big.
You have a really nice style and you're really funny. It's really refreshing.

I really like your characters too. They were nice and varied in personality which is good.

I really like Salem's quirkiness and general weirdness, it works really well.
Electra seems like she can be a real hard ass but at the same time have a great sense of humor.
Cherry, I'm not even sure how it begin with this girl, she seems like she's going to annoy the crap out of the rest of the cast.
and Aspen, Oh I love how cynical he is.
I like how you're putting two experienced trainers with two new trainers, I'm looking forward to see how that plays out.
I also really liked how you gave us some history about Salem and Electra when she was first introduced. It was wonderful to see into there background.

Your battle description was also really nice. You have a good eye for detail which really adds a lot to your world.

Something I'd like to see though is more of a physical character description of Salem and Electra.
Other than that I say keep doing what you're doing!

One question I have though is about Salem's psychic powers, what are all the powers he has? How strong are they? Does his telepathy work with only Pokémon or with humans two? At first I thought it was just telepathy but then I saw the part about the teleporting so now that's peeked my curiosity.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
I'd like to be put on the tag list, please.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Thank you so much for the in-depth review! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

The first two chapters here are told from each other characters' perspective so in the next chapter (which is actually almost done, it will probably be up in a day or two,) we will get Cherry's and Aspen's perspectives on our veteran trainers and get that description you wanted as well, and even a little insight into Salem's powers and another battle. I have a sketch of Salem at least though on my Art stash, right over here. I might do one of Electra later. I don't know, maybe it's weird that I designed all the characters in practically the whole story before I even finished the first chapter. Eh, whatever.

I guess Salem's abilities aren't planned to be a surprise, so I can give you a heads up. My psychic powers in this story are mostly based off those in the first season of the anime. If you've seen it/remember it, you'll know Sabrina has quite a few powers, including teleporting and even like mind-control/illusions and crazy stuff like that. Salem is pretty strong, but not as strong as Sabrina. His telepathy/mind-reading abilities are a little above average, and while he can use them with people, that's rude and in battles its just plain cheating in the psychic community, so he mostly only uses them with pokemon unless there's a particular reason. His teleporting is pretty hit or miss, and he needs to be touching anyone he wants to bring with him, (Sabrina, you'll remember, can teleport other people just by looking at them). His future-sight is almost non-existent (Morty and Sabrina both have prophetic abilities in the games and they do in this story as well), and his clairvoyance (ability to just 'know' things) is pretty lacking as well. His real talents lie in Telekinesis, actually, where he's quite above average. Bending a spoon is child's play for him. In the future he might get better at those other aspects of psychic powers, but it's not something he particularly cares about. As Electra said, Salem tends to downplay his abilities, he doesn't find them especially notable since pretty much everyone in his family is a powerful psychic.

Maybe I should write up bios or something?

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Notes: This is probably the only chapter where Cherry is so annoying. She starts maturing after this. I didn't go over this chapter quite as much as the previous one, so if you see any type-os or errors, feel free to pm me and I'll fix them. I prefer that to mentioning them in reviews. Please enjoy! Feedback is welcome!

---

Chapter Two: In Which Psychic Powers Are Useless and There Is a Real Rescue.

---

[A few minutes earlier, and slightly down the road...]

Cherry's new mentor in Pokemon-catching led her back through the woods until they came upon the road. She was glad Salem seemed to know where he was going, since despite having lived in the area all her life, she'd been pretty lost by the time she ran into that creepy Heracross. Yet another reason people seemed to think she wouldn't be able to hack it as a trainer—Cherry was constantly getting lost.

Oh, who was she kidding? Her two older sisters were the ones with the talent. Ruby was an actress for Pokestar Studios, Primrose was an assistant pokemon researcher, and she was just Cherry, who always needed someone to bail her out of trouble and explain things too many times. She was just tired of it! Tired of everyone saying, “Well, she can't help it, she's just a bit slow.” Cherry just wanted to show that she could do something on her own, that she had some talent, too, but so far that plan didn't seem to be working out quite like she'd hoped it would.

She gnawed on her lower lip. No, Cherry couldn't think that way. She'd show everyone for sure, she just had to try really hard to learn, and this person who'd saved her from that awful Heracross seemed like the perfect teacher. Or at least an available teacher that didn't yet realize his student had a reputation for being a dunce.

This Salem guy was a bit weird though, in her opinion, just from what she'd already seen. He talked to pokemon like he understood what they were saying, which possibly reflected his sanity. And he dressed, er, uniquely as well, in black skinny-jeans, a black turtleneck and a white pullover, or something, that had a deep V-neck and shredded hems like a home-made ghost costume. Salem was tall and pale and possibly wearing black eyeliner, his spiky black hair held back by a rolled white bandana with his bangs left to hang free. For some reason he adored creepy ghost pokemon of all things, and reconsidering his appearance, she could see how they sort of resembled each other, now that she thought of it. But Salem seemed pretty strong, and willing to help her out, so she supposed she shouldn't judge that he dressed like he thought every day must be Halloween.

Cherry realized she was being addressed and blinked. “Huh?” she said, feeling ashamed for spacing out.

“I said, repeat back to me what I told you about pokemon catching on the way here,” Salem said to her as he scoped out a likely looking patch of tall grass and led the girl over to it.

“Oh, okay,” Cherry said, taking a breath to calm herself and rethink back to the short lecture he'd given her. “First, I have to, uh, find a pokemon and battle it with my pokemon.”

When Salem nodded in approval she exhaled sharply, relieved that she answered a question right. Things were looking up! “Good,” her teacher said, “What next?”

Feeling more confident, Cherry repeated back, “Then, when it's tired, I throw the pokeball at it, and if I weakened it enough it should be caught.”

Salem smiled at her, giving another nod of approval and a thumbs up that was corny but none the less appreciated. Cherry beamed back feeling a sense of accomplishment at proving her worth as a student. Things were finally going to start going right for her, she could just tell.

“Yep, and that's basically it,” Salem told her. “Pretty simple, right? Anyone can do it.”

Cherry certainly hoped so. She'd been known to prove wrong similar declarations. One of her friends, Regina, who'd been in her class since the first grade had always made the joke that something, 'wasn't idiot-proof until it had been Cherry-tested'.

“But...won't it hurt the pokemon, throwing a pokeball at it?” she asked the more experienced trainer, visualizing herself following the steps in her head just as Salem had described them. Visualization training, her sister called it, though it never seemed to help all that much on her math tests.

Salem made a wry expression. She supposed she must of said something stupid. “Not as much as battling it will,” he reminded her.

“Oh, right.” Cherry frowned. When she'd decided to become a pokemon trainer, she hadn't thought about how much the pokemon might get hurt. “I didn't realize pokemon training was so...violent,” she admitted, starting to reconsider what she was doing. Looking down at the pokeball in her hand that held her sister's Cubone, Bones, Cherry was starting to feel disheartened. She didn’t know if she could do this...

Quickly she shook her head to clear her negative thoughts. No, Cherry could do this! She had to, to prove herself to everyone. It didn't matter what was involved, Cherry had already said she'd be a trainer, so that was what she was going to do! She just had to stay the course.

The novice trainer looked up and saw that Salem was regarding her strangely. Cherry must have said something dumb again.

“You have seen a pokemon battle before, haven't you? Other than the one I just had with the Heracross, I mean.” Salem said this as if battling was something she ought to have experience with. The fact that she couldn't say that she did sort of unnerved her. Still Cherry thought hard about the question, giving it due consideration, determined to come up with something positive to say.

“Um...I saw my sister battle someone once,” she answered finally. It was back when she was, like, five, and honestly the details were sort of hazy. Cherry had never really paid attention to battles before. Sometimes she watched contests and performances when they were on, and knew enough about them to realize that Pokemon Coordinators weren't really taken seriously by real trainers, as those her age put it, but that was about it. Her primary interest in pokemon lay in their cuteness, really.

Salem frowned in a way that made him look a bit scary. Kind of like one of his creepy ghost pokemon. “You've never even watched the league conferences on TV?” he asked, appalled.

Cherry blinked. “What's the league conference?”

Salem looked like he was considering doing something painful to his own head before he finally sighed, and shook it clear, saying, “Never mind. Let's just catch your Sentret.”

“Oh, okay.” Wow, was Cherry glad that line of questioning was over....

Salem turned towards the tall grass and examined the numerous Sentret playing within as Cherry did the same. Eying their choices, Salem pointed to one nearby that was pawing playfully after a Butterfree so high in the sky that it couldn't possibly reach the bug pokemon. “How about we try that one right there?”

Cherry looked at Salem like he was crazy but the older teen didn't mirror her aversion and she was instead met with complete confusion. Obviously Salem didn't understand a thing about cuteness or appeal, and in fact she couldn't imagine what his selection criteria for a pokemon could possibly be, other than maybe proximity. His adoration of ghosts had hinted at it, but this definitely confirmed a disability in his adorableness-appreciation skill.

“Mmm...I just don't really like that one,” she replied after a minute of deliberation. It would probably just distress Salem to know he had no sense for judging the style and charm of pokemon, so Cherry chose not to point it out. He was probably happier in his ignorance.

Salem raised a skeptical brow. “Why not?”

Cherry eyed the Sentret, trying to find the words to describe what was a thing of art and instinct. “It's too...brown,” was what she came up with.

“You do realize that most Sentret are brown,” Salem deadpanned.

Cherry pouted. “But that one is just too brown...”

Salem stared at her for a moment, shook his head and then looked back to the Sentret-filled meadow. “Um, well, how about that one?” he suggested, pointing to another that was batting at a pebble on the ground.

“It's eyes are too far apart,” she responded after looking at it. What was Salem thinking? The creature was downright googly-eyed.

Salem bit the inside of his lip, made a face and then tried again. “Then this one over here?”

Said Sentret was rolling an acorn around that was almost as big as it was. Failing at it, too. “It's too small,” Cherry declared automatically.

He raised a brow and pointed at another random Sentret. “And what's wrong with this one?”

She shook her head forcefully. No no no. “Too wriggly,” she said.

Salem frowned another scary frown at her. “Okay, now you're just messing with me,” he complained.

Cherry didn't bother explaining the concept of 'wriggliness' since he'd never get it anyway. Her new mentor didn't seem to understand why it even mattered in the first place that she have a pokemon she liked. She supposed she would need to educate him.

“I only get one shot at a first pokemon, so it has to be the best one,” Charry told him firmly. “I mean, what if I just caught any old one and it was the ugliest Sentret that ever lived and I couldn't stand to look at it? That would be shameful. Who ever heard of a trainer that can't even look at her pokemon?” She certainly hadn't, though admittedly Cherry's knowledge was rather lacking when it came to pokemon training. Still, she assumed one probably had to interact with their pokemon in order to train them and she simply couldn't do that if she didn't approve of the creature.

“Usually it's considered part of a trainer's required skill-set to be able to appreciate and adapt to any pokemon,” Salem explained to her, a bit of irritation creeping into his voice. “Most trainers face destiny and work with whatever pokemon they find.”

“Well, I'm not most trainers! Any old pokemon won't do, I want the right pokemon!” Cherry said, a little desperately.

She stuck out her lower lip and gazed up at Salem begging for his understanding. She needed this temporary mentorship to work out for the sake of her goal. Who else was going to help her catch a pokemon if not him? If her sister or friends wound up helping instead, then that would just defeat the purpose of this fiasco and everything would have been for nothing. Her silent plea seemed like it might be affecting him (maybe, hopefully) as he glanced away looking uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Salem answered wryly, scratching his head and sighing in exasperation. “Well, I guess I can sympathize, but if you're going to be so picky this could take a while. It would help if you told me what you're looking for in a partner, exactly.”

She beamed happily and answered, “Cuteness, mostly. Also sweetness.”

Salem face-faulted. “That doesn't really help...”

Cherry shrugged. “Well, I know what I'm looking for, and I'm not leaving until I find it!” she told him, pumping her fist in determination before she marched off towards another patch of grass.

Salem sighed and followed after her, much to her relief. Cherry had had people give up on her before for far fewer reasons than the amount of trouble she'd already caused the older teen. She was starting to feel really lucky for running into Salem. Even if he didn't understand anything about cuteness.

Leading the way, Cherry trampled through the brush and tall grass, picking her path haphazardly over uneven ground and prickly plants that somehow managed to circumvent the soles of her sandals to stab her in the foot. (She was starting to rethink wearing open-toed shoes....) Cherry nearly tripped about five times and once she almost stepped on a Rattata, which scared the heck out of her and in turn freaked out Salem until he realized what had happened and shook his head silently. (If she was being honest, Salem kind of screamed like a girl. Not that there was anything wrong with being girly, Cherry just thought it was funny, since he was a guy.)

After about twenty minutes of fruitless searching, Salem sighed. “You know, this would be a lot easier if you just caught one of the Sentret back down by the road. That little one was pretty cute, right?”

Cherry shot Salem a disgusted look. Was he serious? “It was scrawny,” she insisted. Didn't he know that just because something was small didn't mean it was cute? The concept of cuteness was much more complex then that.


Salem rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you're probably going to have to compromise a bit on your—“

Suddenly Cherry gasped. “That one! That one right there! That's it!”

They'd just crossed a tiny stream and come into a clearing when Cherry had spied the most beautiful and adorable Sentret she had ever laid eyes on. She wanted to squeal and jump up and down and she might have if she weren't hugging herself, imagining she was squeezing the furry pokemon tight. So cute! So perfect! The Sentret was dozing on a stump in the middle of a fairy circle of white mushrooms, the warm sunlight pouring down on the peacefully dreaming pokemon, providing a convenient spotlight as if to highlight it's sleeping form.

Cherry didn't know much about pokemon, but what she did know was this Sentret was sparkly and adorable, it's fur a warm tawny, it's markings and cute, perky ears a dark magenta. It was obviously the best, Sentret, EVER.

“So...cute...” she whispered in awe. Cherry thought she'd died and gone to heaven. She wouldn't have been surprised if she was foaming at the mouth. She hadn't been this giddy since her sisters had stopped letting her eat sugar.

Salem squinted into the clearing in the direction her awed face was fixated on. “Whoa, that's some unusual coloring. Pokemon like that are ultra rare!” he said excitedly and tapped Cherry on the shoulder with urgency. “Quick, Cherry, send out Bones to battle it!”

For a moment Cherry was confused. Bones? Battle? Huhwhah? (Sentret...so...cute...) But she hastily shook her head to clear it and adopted a determined expression. This was it! This was her chance to prove herself! “Right!” she said and fumbled at her belt for Bones' pokeball. “Bones, come on out!”

She tossed the ball and released her sister's pokemon, the Cubone appearing just as before, raring to go and scanning the clearing. Spying the Sentret snoozing innocently on the stump before him, Bones thwacked it's bone club into it's palm, looking like it was ready for business. Since Bones' business seemed to be clubbing other pokemon into unconsciousness, Cherry was a little unnerved by this.

“Cuu~!” Bones said.

“Bones, help me catch that Sentret!” Cherry commanded. “But...please don't hurt it too much...”

The Cubone waved a claw at her airily and said, “Bu~bone,”which she hoped meant something positive like, 'You can count on me!' The ground type pokemon marched up to the resting Sentret, which wriggled its buttony nose and fluttered its fuzzy ears, opening it's sweetly sparkling eyes to see what was approaching.

Bones stopped in front of the stump and began calling out its own name, saying...something Cherry didn't understand. The Sentret stood up on its tail and eyed the Cubone curiously, sneezing as a piece of fluff drifted by on the wind.

Cherry stared. So...cute...“W-what's going on?” she asked her teacher after a moment.

“Bones is delivering a long speech about how he's going to kick her ass, and the Sentret is responding by using Charm to lower his attack,” Salem explained, watching the proceedings with sage-like perspicacity.

“Oh,” Cherry said and frowned in confusion. “Is that good or bad?”

Salem shrugged. “Charm will make Bones's attacks do less damage, but doesn't do any damage itself. Since the opponent is at a low level, Bones is a fairly high level by comparison and you aren't trying to knock it out, the attack reduction doesn't really make a difference.”

Cherry understood. Mostly, sort of. “Oh okay, so...I should call out attacks now, right?” she asked, recalling the steps they'd talked about earlier.

“You got it,” he told her.

“But, I don't know any of Bones' attacks...,” Cherry said forlornly. She hadn't thought to ask when she went to her sister to borrow a pokemon. Cherry supposed she should have but it was far too late now, she needed to catch her perfect Sentret immediately before it was caught by someone else!

“Just look it up on your pokedex,” Salem suggested with a shrug.

Cherry just stared at him dumbly and the older trainer made a face back before sighing in resignation. “You should already know this from the class you took to get your trainer card, but I guess I'll explain it anyway...”

Cherry beamed and fished around in her backpack for her pokedex. She'd taken the trainer class with her best friend Aspen, but it was a lot to remember and she didn't have the most reliable recall skills to begin with. She had her brain full just learning about gyms and the pokemon center and box system and regurgitating league rules she forgot an hour after the test. So, grateful for the refresher, Cherry listened attentively as Salem talked her through scanning a pokemon for it's stats and moveset with the device. Following his direction, she pointed her pokedex, pressed the scan button, and waited for Dexter to come up with a response.

After a pause as funny dots moved across the screen and told her it was loading, the device spat out, “Name, Bones, Species, Cubone. Level, twenty-five. Registered trainer, Primrose Robins. Pedigree, wild caught. Met, the Rock Tunnel in the Kanto Region. Moveset, Growl, Tail Whip, Bone Club, Headbutt, Leer, Focus Energy, Bonemerang, Rage, Iron Head.”

“Which one should I use?” she asked him timidly. She really hadn't a clue what any of the attacks were supposed to do.

“Whichever one you want,” Salem said, which didn't help at all. She hadn't known he was going to be one of those teachers that actually expected you to think. Cherry hoped he continued to be as patient as he had been so far, because thinking was never really her strong suit.

“The opponent is still using Charm on your pokemon, you know,” Salem informed her in a monotone voice when she took longer than ten seconds to say anything, still lost in looking at Bones's attack list uselessly.

Cherry winced. “Um, Bones, use....” Dang it, she had no idea which to pick.... “Um, Rage?” she hazarded at random.

Bones glanced back at her, (for reassurance? But then why was he glaring?) made a confusing face and then took a stance facing her chosen Sentret, shouting, “Cuu~!”

All at once, Bones' scales took on a crimson flare, radiating energy, a fact which Cherry found sort of alarming. Was Bones going to explode? She couldn't think her sister would approve of this. Eventually the dinosaur pokemon flashed red and white, sending out pulses of power as the Sentret watched, sniffing the air casually.

Finally, Bones's eyes glowed a bright white and he shouted, “Cuuuuu ~ BONE!” and her sister's pokemon unleashed a blast of red energy that kicked up dust and rushed towards the Sentret and—

Did absolutely nothing. Not that she could tell, anyway.

Cherry was so confused right now...

“Wh-what happened?” she stuttered, trying to figure out what was going on. She'd called an attack, it looked like Bones had done...well, something. It had sure looked impressive at any rate, but the Sentret remained untouched. Did it have some kind of delayed effect or what? Man, why did battling have to be so complicated...

She looked to Salem for some kind of answer as to what she did wrong and he didn't disappoint, even though the more experienced trainer seemed to find it tiresome. “Rage works by giving back double the damage inflicted by the enemy, but the Sentret didn't do any damage so the attack petered out,” Salem explained to her wearily. “Double of nothing is just nothing, after all.”

Cherry groaned. Why didn't he tell her that in the first place? He was supposed to be helping her, wasn't he? Bones looked pretty annoyed as well, stomping around and grumbling under its breath, glaring, dragging its club through the dirt. Even though her sister Primrose had told him to listen to her, Cherry was wondering how long the pokemon's cooperation would last. She couldn't imagine being ordered around by a novice like herself could be fun for him.

Pouting, she couldn't help but shoot an annoyed look Salem's way, but luckily he didn't seem to notice. Sighing, she tried not to get too frustrated. “Frustration is the enemy of progress,” Professor Oak always said to trainers who called in asking about stuff on that radio show she listened to sometimes because she liked Mary, and he'd always given her the impression that he knew things about pokemon.

Taking up her pokedex, Cherry looked at Bones' attack list again for a different move to try. Still clueless as to which she should pick, Cherry ended up just employing the eeny-meeny-miney-moe method.

“Okay, then uh...Bones this time use...um, Growl?”

At this, Bones wailed, “Bone~!” not seeming very happy. He stalked up to a largish rock and began to thwack his skull against it repeatedly with a loud crack!

Well...that was...different? The Sentret he was supposed to be helping her catch just made happy chortling sounds as if it found this all very entertaining and clapped its paws together in approval. (So cute!)

“Er, uh, Bones?” Cherry asked worriedly. Something told her this wasn't what a Growl attack was supposed to look like. And wasn't he going to get a headache doing that?

She looked over at Salem again for some answers but he was ignoring her, nodding sympathetically about something as he said (to Bones?), “Yeah...I know how you feel, buddy.” Huh....

After a few good head-thwacks, Cherry saw that the Sentret had begun inching closer to the other pokemon, sniffing the air tentatively. Bones, noticing this, rounded on the pokemon and growled menacingly, saying, “Cuu~! Bu-bone~!” The adorable pokemon shrank away, frightened, but it didn't otherwise seem affected.

“Wait, was that it?” Cherry asked, blinking dimly. “Was that Growl? But nothing happened....”

Salem sighed in exasperation and scratched the back of his head. “It lowered the enemy's attack,” he said. “Not going to help you catch it, though. Can you try a move that actually does damage next? Otherwise we'll be here all day.”

Cherry couldn't help it, hot tears formed in her eyes and her lips quivered uncontrollably. God, how could she think she could do this on her own? It was impossible, Cherry was just too incompetent, she couldn't even call out attacks right, there was no way she could ever be a trainer. “Sniffle...sniffle.” She was never going to catch this Sentret...

“Woah woah woah!” Salem interjected all of a sudden, stepping right in front of Cherry and glaring down at her. “What's going on? What are you crying for now?”

And now Salem was mad at her. She couldn't do anything right! “Sniffle,” she said through gurgling tears, “I'm never going to be a trainer...waa~ah~!”

Cherry broke down into full-fledged wails, unable to pull herself back together. Why did nothing ever go her way? Why was she so bad at anything she really wanted to do and everyone else so effortlessly good? She was never going to amount to much of anything. Even flipping burgers was probably beyond her.

“Waah~!” she continued to cry, and fell down to her knees in the grass, ready to sob until she ran out of moisture and got a headache.

“Hey, stop that right now!” Salem demanded, reaching down to yank her up by her armpit. It didn't work very well since she was being limp and Salem didn't seem to want her standing up bad enough to physically pick up her dead weight, so she was only uncomfortably drawn back up onto one knee.

Salem frowned down at her, saying, “Of course you'll never be a trainer if you give up now. You just started, everyone is awful at things they've only just started, so come on, get up!”

Cherry gulped back a tear and met Salem's disapproving gaze miserably. “But I—sniffle—but I can't even get my pokemon to attack properly—sniffle.”

“Well, it would help if you actually knew what any of the attacks did...” Salem mumbled wryly.

“Exactly! I don't even know that much. I'm a useless, no-talent dunce just like Regina says!” That last part was mostly gurgling and unintelligible since she had so many liquids running down her face and the back of her throat. Ugh, crying was uncomfortable. And yet it was probably one of the few things she could do easily...

“All that stuff comes down to studying, it's not like someone is just born with knowledge like that in their head. It's your own effort that's going to take you places.” Salem let go of her arm, and Cherry sat back on her knees.

Cherry sniffled and wiped her eyes as she thought this over. “M-maybe....”

“No, definitely,” Salem corrected her sternly, crossing his arms. “Now, at this point, I don't see any reason you can't be a great pokemon trainer, except for the fact that you seem willing to give up as soon as things get difficult. If that's as far as you want to go, then maybe Rubina or whoever is right, and I'm just wasting my time helping you. But if you really want to be a pokemon trainer, then get up right now, and we'll get this done and that hag can go screw herself, because you are going to have your perfect Sentret. You got that!?”

Cherry blinked up at Salem feeling invigorated and having the odd urge to salute or something. “Y-yeah! Thanks Salem, you're right! Okay, I can do this!” Cherry said to psyche herself up, clutching both hands into fists.

“Well, not from the ground you can't, get up first.”

“Oh, right,” Cherry said, and stood up on one knee, dusting dirt from her skirt.

It was then that she noticed the Sentret—her cute, absolutely adorable and perfect little Sentret—was but a foot away, curiously approaching her.

“Ah! S-Salem, look! It looks like its going to come over!” she shouted excitedly. She couldn't believe it! Was it destiny? Were she and this Sentret just drawn to each other by fate as soon as she'd overcome her misgivings and dedicated herself to pokemon? It seemed to Cherry that this was a definite possibility.

“Yeah, it does...” Salem agreed in a much quieter voice, dumbfounded by the pokemon's overly friendly behavior. “I guess its curious. Try not to make any sudden movements.”

Cherry was hardly listening. She knelt to the ground and held out her hand, beckoning. “Come here! Come here little Sentret! You're just so cute, so cute and sweet! I think that's what I'll name you, I'll name you Sweetness. You'll be my special sweet little pokemon...”

The Sentret inched closer.

“Holy shit, it's actually coming over...” Salem said in disbelief from her shoulder. He'd knelt too, apparently intrigued.

“Maybe it'll let me pet it,” Cherry said and reached her hand closer as the Sentret took a few steps nearer, sniffing the air cautiously, but seemingly unafraid.

“Its a 'she' by the way,” Salem said.

Cherry blinked and looked over at Salem next to her. “Huh? How can you tell?” Pokemon pretty much all looked the same to her, at least as far as telling ones gender went. Now cuteness was another matter entirely.

Salem smirked. “You think I don't know a lovely lady when I see one?” he said loftily.

Cherry giggled. She turned back to the clearing where the Sentret was now almost within physical touching distance, gazing at her hand innocently. The little pokemon was so close, just a little more...

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, bonk!

The Sentret fell flat on it's face in a daze, mere inches from her outstretched hand.

Cherry didn't really know what the heck had happened, all she knew was her precious little Sentret had conked over inches from her hand. So naturally she screamed.

“Oh my God, Sweetness!” Cherry shrieked as she stared in shock at the passed out pokemon before her. “What's happened? Are you dead? OH MY GOD, YOU'RE DEAD!”

“Will you calm down? Christ!” Salem shouted from next to her, physically shaking Cherry to get her attention. “She's not dead, okay? She's perfectly fine. Bones just gave her a cheap shot with Bonemerang.”

Blinking stupidly, all Cherry could think was, 'Huh? What?' and 'She's dead!' for a full minute before Salem's irritated message penetrated her fright. After that it took her another second to process 'not dead', 'Bones' and 'cheap shot' but eventually she did. Belatedly looking over at Bones, who was now inspecting his claws innocently, Cherry puffed out her cheeks, feeling pissed.

Standing up and stamping her foot on the ground as her face flushed red with anger, Cherry shouted, “Bones! Why'd you do that? You could have killed her!”

“Cuu~,” was all the Cubone said as he waved a claw dismissively in her general direction.

She had no idea what that meant, but it sure as hell didn't sound repentant! “I'm telling my sister on you!” she threatened.

Hah! That got his attention! The Cubone jumped to attention and started angrily shouting, “Cubone~! Bone~! Bone~!” Apparently he didn't want her to tell Prim, but that was exactly what she was going to do! The nerve of him, to hurt an innocent little Sentret and then act like it was nothing! What a brat!

She felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey, Cherry, stop yelling at Bones and throw your pokeball.”

Cherry looked over at Salem. “Huh?”

He frowned and pointed urgently at her poor Sentret, still lying in the clearing. “Catch it, quick, before it wakes up!”

She gasped. “Oh! Right!” It was a good thing Salem was on things. What would she have done if her Sentret woke up and fled before she'd managed to catch it? But now that wouldn't happen, she was going to collect her precious pokemon, her very first. And Cherry just knew she would be well worth the trouble.

Cherry took out an empty heal ball. She'd primarily gotten it because it was pink, and now was the perfect opportunity to use it. She took aim, wound up and threw...

The ball landed perfectly, bouncing off the Sentret and flying back into the air. The pokemon became red energy and was sucked into the pokeball, which fell to the ground, and wiggled...and wiggled...and...clear!

Cherry ran over to the pokeball and held it aloft, feeling amazing. This was great! This was awesome! She felt like she'd never stop smiling again as she jumped up and down in the clearing, shouting, “Yes! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!”

“That was nice throw,” Salem complemented her.

Cherry stuck out her tongue and flashed a victory sign happily. “Three years on the Newbark junior softball team!” she boasted. Softball was probably the only thing she was good at outside of crying, and making lemon cookies, so she was a bit proud of her throwing skills. However, something told her she'd be getting good at pokemon very soon. Nothing could stop her now!

Salem sighed. “Now that that's done, lets head back to the road, okay?”

“Okay!” Cherry said, recalling Bones, her previous anger at him already forgotten. Bounding off ahead of Salem, who seemed really tired for some reason, she was absolutely giddy. She couldn't wait to show Prim and Aspen the pokemon she'd caught!

---

[Meanwhile, back along route 29...]


When Aspen had planned out his schedule for the day, 'Running For His Life From An Arbok' had not been on the agenda. Obviously plans tended to change.

“Is it—huff—still back there?” he asked Electra, using up some precious breath on the action. Aspen's lungs were starting to hurt and he just couldn't get enough air, he wasn't sure if he could run much longer. If the Arbok wasn't gone....

“You really need to ask that?!” the girl shouted frantically. “We are, like—huff—ten seconds from taking a trip through that thing's esophagus!”

Aspen scowled, even though he didn't really have the energy to spare. God, just because they were about to die didn't mean she had to get snippy. The girl had seemed normal enough from a distance when he'd approached her—taller than him and a little older with short blond hair, skinny blue jeans, tennis shoes and a blue and yellow short-sleeved shirt with a high collar and deep V-neck, short enough to bare her midriff. Only five minutes of knowing her and he could already tell she was the bossy type. Ugh.

“I was just asking,” he grumbled.

“Shaah~!” interrupted the Arbok's hiss, from way too close. He didn't have to look to know it was rampaging as it slithered across the landscape, it's giant tail cracking branches like a whip, trees it rubbed against creaking from its strength.

“Less talking, more running!” Electra shouted, physically hauling him along. He couldn't say he liked it, but she was probably the only thing keeping him going at this point. Aspen had never thought he was out of shape but compared to Electra he obviously was and it might just get him eaten by a wild pokemon. Not a good thought.

He spared a glance back at the Arbok. It was following them easily. The thing was just toying with them, waiting for its prey to get tired before it gulped them down with a side of Rattata for good measure. Wonderful.

“We're going to get tired—huff—way before it does,” he told Electra. The look on her face as they both swerved under a low bearing tree that probably wouldn't slow their chaser down for more than half a second, said she had thought the same but didn't want to say anything.

“Huff, huff—maybe if we double team it with our pokemon we can make some kind of stand?” Aspen suggested.

She looked reluctant. “Huff—might be our only choice,” Electra finally agreed, which was just as well because Aspen's legs were about to give out, making the problem moot. “Okay, on three, stop running and toss out your pokemon, got it?”

He had too little breath to do anything other than nod. Damn it, he sure hoped they could take this thing on with only two pokemon, both of whom had limited experience. Aspen had been reading the league field guide, but something told him that would only help so much when it came to an actual battle. While he'd been witness to quite a few, this would be the first time as an actual participant. He was confident that he had the theory down, but it would take more than solid theory to win this battle.

“Okay, one, two, three!” Electra shouted and came to a sliding stop, her shoes grinding against the ground for traction as she simultaneously tossed out a pokeball from her belt. “Come on out, Luster!”

Performing likewise, Aspen stopped and threw his only pokeball, hoping like hell this would work. “Go, Totodile!”

From Electra's pokeball a bold Shinx appeared. Shouting an excited, “Shii~!” it threw off tiny sparks, ready for battle. But only an instant later it made something like a grimace as it noticed the giant, salivating snake eying the electric cub like a tasty snack that had come to a stop only a few feet away.

Aspen's pokeball returned to him upon releasing his own pokemon, and the new trainer got a good look at it for the first time since choosing it this morning at Professor Birch's lab. “To~to~to~to~toh~!” the pokemon said, clacking its jaws as it examined its surroundings. It too noticed the Arbok immediately. Not that it was hard to miss.

“To~toh~?” the Totodile hazarded, as if it had trouble processing the situation it found itself in, so sudden and ridiculous was it. Aspen didn't really blame the pokemon, he wasn't all that sure we wasn't just having a really awful dream himself.

Electra's Shinx, Luster however, seemed all too aware of how real and incredibly messed up their chances were, and shouted a dubious, “Shi~inx~!?” back to it's trainer.

Electra winced and answered her pokemon apologetically. “I know that Arbok looks tough, Luster, but we don't have a lot of options. If we can't make it back off, then we're snake food.”

“Shii...,” the Shinx said doubtfully, regarding the huge Arbok with apprehension.

“Just do your best,” Electra said and pumped a fist in encouragement. “I know that we can do this if we work together!”

The pokemon nodded and turned back to the Arbok with renewed confidence. “Shii~! Shi~shiinx~!” It said, hunching its back, ready to receive commands from its trainer.

Aspen scratched the back of his head nervously. He supposed he ought to say something to his pokemon as well, since he was expecting it to save his life. He glanced down at the Totodile who seemed to be mildly freaking out. “Uh, Totodile?”

“To~toh~?” it asked, gazing up at him expectantly with its big blue crocodilian eyes full of trust. Whatever its trainer said next would make everything better, certainly. He could turn the tide and empower his pokemon with his words. Probably. Maybe.

Aspen's hand moved to scratch his jaw. “Well, um...good luck,” he said lamely.

“Toh~?!” the Totodile exclaimed, going slack-jawed in alarm.

Aspen supposed he should have made the effort to sound more comforting, or reliable or something, like Electra. Well, too late now. He wasn't good at any of that stuff anyway.

The new trainer suddenly coughed as Electra elbowed him in the gut to get his attention. “Okay, kid, here's the plan. We Leer and then we Tackle, got it?” she said.

“My Totodile knows Scratch, not Tackle.” Some trainer she was, if she didn’t even know that.

Electra rolled her eyes. “Not important, just attack with all you've got. Got it?”

Aspen nodded. “Yeah.” It wasn't like he had a better plan, and the strategy was sound. Lower defense and then attack. It was the very first strategy outlined in the 'battle help' section of the league field guide.

“Alright! Let's go, Luster, use Leer!” Electra commanded, her voice carrying the authority and confidence of a seasoned battler.

“Shii~!” her Shinx responded, leaping into action. The lightning pokemon yowled and shot its opponent a harsh Leer, the snake responding with an angry, “Shaar~bok~!”

“Totodile, you too!” Aspen commanded.

“Toh~!” his pokemon said and followed orders, despite his earlier misgivings. The crocodile pokemon glared down the Arbok, who seemed to be getting more annoyed by the minute but had yet to attack, possibly finding the multiple targets difficult to pay attention to. Even though the opponent seemed content to confront the two attacking pokemon for the moment, Aspen didn't have faith that it would last.

“You know, its really not helping that this Arbok has the Intimidate ability,” Aspen noted.

“Shh!” Electra hushed him, without taking her eyes from the battle. “Alright Luster, give that snake a Tackle attack!”

“Shiinx~!”

Aspen was right with her. “You attack too, Totodile. Scratch!”

“Toh~!”

The two pokemon raced towards the Arbok, Luster with his head down, ready to barrel into its aggressor, Totodile with its claw razed for a Scratch attack. The opponent hissed and spat a trail of wicked needles glowing purple with poison, aiming right at the two smaller pokemon. Aspen didn't have to yell for his pokemon to evade it. Obviously the sickly smell of corrosion coming from the speeding pellets was warning enough. The Totodile managed to stumble out of the way before getting hit and Luster managed to do the same, the nimbleness from his electric typing coming into good use.

“Split up! Luster, attack it from the left! Don't give it a clear shot of you both together, make him work for it!” Electra shouted from his side, and Aspen blinked in surprise as her pokemon leapt to fulfill her command. That was good thinking. There was no need for both pokemon to make themselves an easy target. Splitting up would heighten their evasion, as well as opening up the opponent for an attack. Aspen was starting to think they had a chance.

“Listen to what she says, Totodile. Split up and attack from the opposite side!” he called out.

“Toh~!” his pokemon responded as he dodged the projectile needles, running around to their opponents right.

The Arbok seemed confused now, alternating sides as it shot off one Poison Sting volley after another, never quite getting time to set up a good shot before he had to head off the other pokemon from getting close enough to attack.

Tackle! Scratch! Tackle! Between them the two pokemon were managing to land some good shots.

“Great job, you two, keep it up!” Electra called out.

As Luster barked at the Arbok, challenging it, Aspen's Totodile jumped in from the other side, ready to land another Scratch. But the Arbok hissed furiously and whirled around.

“Watch out!” he said, but was way too late. The Arbok landed a powerful swipe of his tail, knocking the Totodile off balance before scooping him up in a deadly Wrap.

“T-toh~!” his pokemon cried out as the Arbok squeezed him tight, glaring down at him menacingly with its dark eyes and flicking tongue.

Aspen flushed pale and cold sweat gathered on his back. “Totodile!” he called out. They'd only been together a short while, but the crocodile pokemon had defended him bravely in his time of need. This wasn't right, this couldn’t be happening!

“Luster, Tackle that snake, make it let got of Totodile!” Electra commanded her Shinx earnestly.

“Shii~!” the pokemon shouted and ran full tilt into the Arbok, but it's huge mass of coils barely seemed to be feeling it. Meanwhile, his Totodile was struggling but barely able to move, caught as he was in the Arbok's grasp.

Damn it! Aspen thought. Damn it all! Looking around frantically for something, anything, he saw a few pebbles and scrambled to gather them up, dropping a few in his urgency.

“Get the hell away from my Totodile!” he shouted, and tossed one of his pebbles, aiming for their monstrous aggressor. The first missed entirely, and the second bounced harmlessly off the thing's massive bulk, but the third by some fluke of desperation pelted the pokemon right in the eye.

“Shaaa~!” the Arbok recoiled, and spat a stream of acid in his direction.

Aspen's eyes widened as the stream headed straight for him.

“Get down you idiot!” was all he heard before a swift kick to his thigh had him slamming into the ground, the stream of noxious liquid flying passed him. Aspen's eyes widened as he watched a hole spread out from the Acid attack's splash, where it had hit the trunk of a large tree by the road, poisonous fumes rising from the gaping opening. He took a deep shuddering breath, realizing that Electra's quick thinking had probably just saved his life.

The sound of his pokemon crying out, “Toh~toh~dile~!” brought his attention back to the present situation, as fucked up as it was.

“Damn it!” Aspen cursed from his place laying on the ground, his fingers digging into the beaten earth as they formed a fist. What was he supposed to do? What could he do? There had to be a way out of this, some obvious response, maybe one they had gone over in trainer orientation or something, but he just couldn’t think of any. Damn it. Damn it!

He grit his teeth. Was this it? Was his journey as a pokemon trainer, reluctant as it had initially been, over so quickly? Was this really as far as he could go? Was this as far as his strength could take him?

Bonk!

A bone club ricocheted of the Arbok's head, which suddenly snapped back in a daze. The club whirled back into the opposite direction to be caught by a tough Cubone that aimed it's weapon at the giant snake like a sword, shouting a defiant “Cuu~!”

The wild Arbok shook its head, uncoiling it's tail and releasing Aspen's Totodile to flop onto the ground, breathing heavily as it struggled to recover. Luster was instantly at the hurt pokemon's side, standing guard while the Totodile shook off the attack as best it could.

The Arbok rounded on its attackers, hissing in anger and frustration, readying a Bite attack when suddenly a pale blue energy lifted the huge pokemon from the ground and it flew across the landscape, smashing hard into a tree a few yards away, scattering loose leaves and sticks all about.

Aspen blinked in confusion but his concern for his pokemon won out over the shock and curiosity and he stumbled to his feet, running to pick up his Totodile. From behind him he heard Electra shout, “Finally! What the hell took you so long?” Someone else responded, but he wasn't really paying attention.

“Totodile, are you okay?” he asked his starter as he scooped him up in his arms. Electra's Shinx raised up on it's back legs, his front paws on his arm as it gave its battle partner a worried, “Shii~?”

“Toh~!” the crocodile said to them both, seeming tired and achy but without any life-threatening injuries. Aspen sighed. That was a hell of a relief.

“Cuu~! Bone~bone~!” he heard, and looked over to see Cherry standing next to her sister Primrose's Cubone, looking on nervously as Electra berated some guy he'd never seen before. Aspen let loose another sigh of relief. At least now he knew he and Electra were supposed to be appetizers and that Arbok hadn't already snacked on her before before going after them. But then again, now she was in the same boat as he was.

He saw that Electra was confronting the mystery-guy, making huge, frantic gestures with her hands. “I was sending out freaking psychic lightning bolts! Are you telling me you never picked up a thing?” she complained angrily to the taller dark-haired teen. From the pokeball on his belt he was also a trainer, no doubt the one that she had been waiting for when Aspen came across her.

“It doesn't work that way, Electra. You're not psychic, and I'm not a goddamn radio antenna!” the guy replied indignantly.

Seeing that the two were busy, Aspen trotted over to Cherry. “You okay?” he asked her.

“Oh, I’m fine, are you okay?” she asked earnestly, biting her lower lip as she saw his injured Totodile in his arms. “Is your pokemon alright? It was being squeezed by that big snake! Thankfully Salem was able to throw it off. But ah, I can't believe he did that! It's just like those psychics on TV! Like Sabrina in that one Pokestar Studios movie—”

Aspen had to shake his head so as not to get caught up in Cherry's monologue. This was why he worried about her. She was talking about movies of all things while there was a huge freaking snake waiting to gulp them down only a few feat away and it wouldn't stay down for long, not something that big and powerful.

Warily eying the weird guy talking to Electra he interrupted his best friend, whispering, “Hey, what are you doing with this guy?” behind a hand as he jammed a covert thumb in the new person's direction

“Oh, that's Salem,” she answered him as if this explained everything, but Aspen was used to her and waited patiently for her to elaborate, which she did. “He saved me from a Heracross and helped me catch a Sentret,” she explained brightly. Cherry blinked as something occurred to her then suddenly grinned, pulling out a pink pokeball. “Oh! You have to see Sweetness, my new Sentret!” she squealed, hugging the ball to her excitedly. “Kyaa~! She's just so cute!”

Aspen shook his head before she could get going. As genuinely happy as he was for Cherry and curious to meet her pokemon himself, this was definitely not the time. “Later,” he promised, “first we've got to clear out and head back home.” Putting his hands on her shoulders, he pointed her in the direction of Electra and her friend, heading away from the Arbok's crash site.

“Oh, okay,” she answered, only a little disappointed.

The Salem guy and Electra were still arguing. “Just use Fog!” she told him, both hands on her hips.

Her friend frowned, saying, “I don't have Fog, remember?”

“Then use Pharoah!”

“I don't have Pharaoh, I only have Charisma! I left them all at home, same as you did!”

Electra threw her head back and groaned angrily. “Ugh! I know, I know! I'm just desperate over here!”

Salem shook his head. “Whatever, lets just get out of here before that Arbok gets up—”

“Shaa~bok~!”

“Too late!” Electra leaped into a sprint, recalling her Shinx as she did so. Aspen took the time to grab Cherry by the arm, tugging her away from the recovering Arbok, as Bones shouted, “Cuu~!” and scuttled after them hastily.

“Cherry, recall Bones!” he said, taking out Totodile's pokeball and stowing him safely inside.

“Oh, right!” Cherry said, and zapped Bones before they both took off running. As she did so, Aspen saw Electra's friend make a glowing gesture with his hand that sent the Arbok flying once again into a grove, branches and leaves blowing into the air in a flurry of debris from its impact. As soon as the blue energy propelling the Arbok disappeared Salem came dashing after them, his longer legs letting him catch up to the group without too much trouble.

Woah, Aspen thought, dumbfounded by this display of psychic power. It was the first time he'd ever seen something like it in person.

“Huff—Salem, hit it again! Psychic attack, go!” Electra shouted at the top of her lungs as she ran flat out. She was by far the fastest of the group, outpacing them all. Ironically, Aspen thought that she probably didn't have to be so worried about their tail—the Arbok would be happily swallowing the rest of them one after another before it managed to catch up to her, and by then it would probably be full.

“I'm not a freaking pokemon!” the new guy complained, nearly tripping over a bush in his way. “And—huff— you know I can't lift something as heavy as that beast of an Arbok while I'm running—huff—and I am sure as hell not about to stand there and let it eat me while I'm trying to grab it again!”

Electra looked behind her and shot Salem an annoyed face. “Psh, what good are you then...,” she grumbled.

Salem scowled. “Hey! Don't get bitchy just because we're all about to die!”

“Can you people just fucking run!” Aspen shouted over them angrily. God! He couldn’t even freaking die in peace over here!

“Huff-huff—!” Beside him, Cherry was struggling to keep up. Not only was she the shortest out of everyone present, but she was also wearing inadequate footwear. He didn't know how many times he'd told her she should wear comfortable shoes when she was trekking through nature, but obviously this time, as with every time before, she hadn't listened to him. Or more likely just forgotten about it two minutes after he'd told her.

“Bok~! Shaa~!” hissed the Arbok, gaining on them as it twisted between trees, shrubs and along animal trails.

Ahead of them, Aspen saw Electra take a tricky path over some large rocks and between two close growing trees. He followed her, only to have Cherry slip on one of the boulders. Her sandal slid against a steep rock-face, bringing her to one knee and almost pulling him down with her. He stopped to haul her up, but the Arbok was closing in, it's slitted eyes hungry, forked tongue tasting the air as it reared back and spread its hood. Electra's friend Salem backtracked, trying to help him pull Cherry to her feet, but their frantic scrambling was having the opposite affect.

Shit, he thought, flinching. Shit!

“Jingle, Extrasensory!”

“Chime~!”

A Chimecho suddenly materialized, levitating between Cherry and the Arbok, who was frozen in mid-slither, it's eyes glowing with golden energy as it took an invisible psychic attack. When Cherry's sister Primrose appeared at his side, her lab coat and the long, wavy maroon hair flowing from her side-bun flapping in the breeze, relief flooded through him. Saved! They were saved!

“Sis!” Cherry said excitedly.

The woman winked, smiling kindly at the younger sister that was practically her daughter, and turning to Aspen, gave him a big thumbs up. “Good job finding Cherry, Aspen. You can let me and Jingle handle the rest.”

Aspen just nodded, feeling numb as Prim faced the Arbok, still frozen in place by her Chimecho's attack. She crossed her arms beneath her breasts, glaring down the immobile pokemon like the furious guardian she was.

“Now, I don't know what you're doing here outside your normal range,” she said, addressing the Arbok, “but no one gets to my little sister without going through me first. Jingle?”

“Chime~!” called her pokemon, ready for its orders.

“Thunderwave!” Prim yelled, stabbing a finger at their opponent.

“Chime~! Chiime-echo~!” it said, and small filaments of electricity traced their way over the gold nob on its head before striking the Arbok down with a powerful flash of lightning.

“Shaa~!” the pokemon hissed angrily before it fell to the ground, paralyzed.

Not wasting any time, Prim drew a blue great ball from her lab coat pocket and threw it at the motionless pokemon, its body still crackling with paralyzing electricity. It flew in a perfect arc, the result of much practice, and as soon as the ball hit, the Arbok was sucked inside. The ball dropped to the ground, rolling to the center of the indent the heavy pokemon made in the earth when it fell.

Aspen watched with baited breath as the ball wiggled once, twice, three times, and...clear!

Primrose walked over to the great ball and picked it up, slipping it into her pocket. “And that is that,” she said.

---

Event Summery:

• Cherry caught the Wild Sentret! Sentret has been named Sweetness.
• Electra and Aspen tried to run from the Wild Arbok. They couldn't escape!
• Primrose caught the Wild Arbok!
  

 

[Safe]

OK, before I start my review I want to note something quickly from the second chapter.

“Jingle, Extrasensory!”

“Chime~!”

Just my thoughts, but as I read this I began to think the speaker was Salem who might've been hiding a pokemon secretly, which kind of brought me out of the scene. If you would add a dialogue tag like: "a feminine voice ordered" it would've been easier to follow.

Now on to the review.

First of all, I very much enjoyed this. Your characters were very entertaining, and well characterized. The way you switch POVs was very well done, but I was especially entertained by the narrator. It seems you write the story in third person, but it's as if the character is narrating, which is really funny in Salem's case. Like right here:

He hugged his Litwick, both to cheer her up and because he was just that insanely in love with Ghost-type pokemon. “Wiiick~!” Charisma said happily and rubbed his face with hers. So cute! Who the hell said Ghost pokemon were anything but completely adorable? Salem ought to drop kick this chick into a whole colony of hellaciously affectionate Heracross.

I felt like the narrator had a great adaptation to Salem's personality, and speech pattern's. I also liked how you would add and interpretation after the pokemon spoke. I thought it was really funny, especially Bones (he's such a BAMF) but later on you explain that it's Salem's telepathy, so I guess we'll only see this when it's his POV.

The story up until now was very entertaining, and your writing style really made it flourish. I also really like the part were you gave us a sort of flash back into Electra's and Salem's past. It was not only a great way to give the character's depth, but was also very fun to read.

Now I personally don't prefer to give you my opinion on the characters individually, but rather in this case (since it's more of a comedy) on how well the characters' chemistry is. And you've done great on that point to say the least. Each character has a funny relationship (a least from what I've read) with one another.

I was actually planning on reading/reviewing this, but then I saw that you entered the review game and thought: Alright! Hit to birds with one stone, and then I remembered I still haven't posted any of my stories yet... or finished writing them for that matter. Anyway I decided to read/review this nonetheless, and I'm glad I did.

Oh, btw a previous reviewer asked to be put on the "Tag list" if you're not sure what that is, it's just a mention at the beginning of each new chapter to notify the reader. You just have to put the reader's username between an "@" and a semicolon, like so: @NoirGrimoir;

And I'd like to be on the tag list too, please.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

@Lance; Thank you so much for the review! It's great to know someone is actually reading this, much less enjoying it, which I'm so glad you do! Thank you for the wonderful compliments, and the note about that one confusing part. I always like to make sure the readers know what's going on, so any way I can clarify possible misunderstandings is some great advice. I'm going to consider what would be best to rectify that and edit that part of the chapter so future readers won't be confused.

I guess you can say that "writing third-person like its trying to be first person" is something of a style of mine, and I'm glad you noted it and think it works well. I'm relieved that you and Cosmos both seem to think the flash back was enjoyable since I while I liked it, I was a little worried that other people wouldn't. About Salem's interpretation of what the pokemon are saying, yeah that's mostly going to be in his POV, though Electra knows pokemon pretty well so in her POV she can infer some communication and as Aspen and Cherry get used to their pokemon, they'll be able to do the same. It's mostly their inexperience that they don't get what their pokemon are trying to say.

Thanks again! I'm so happy you decided to review even though you didn't have anything for the review game. I'll definitely add you to the Tag list. Next chapter is almost half finished so hopefully I'll get an update up soon for you guys.

 

[Safe]

@Lance; Thank you so much for the review! It's great to know someone is actually reading this, much less enjoying it, which I'm so glad you do! Thank you for the wonderful compliments, and the note about that one confusing part.

You're very welcome! ^^

I guess you can say that "writing third-person like its trying to be first person" is something of a style of mine, and I'm glad you noted it and think it works well.

I really liked it, I was actually thinking of adapting that style myself. I'm glad I saw someone use it so well.

About Salem's interpretation of what the pokemon are saying, yeah that's mostly going to be in his POV, though Electra knows pokemon pretty well so in her POV she can infer some communication and as Aspen and Cherry get used to their pokemon, they'll be able to do the same. It's mostly their inexperience that they don't get what their pokemon are trying to say.

I thought this was a great idea, and I think it really enriches the dialogue.

Thanks again! I'm so happy you decided to review even though you didn't have anything for the review game. I'll definitely add you to the Tag list. Next chapter is almost half finished so hopefully I'll get an update up soon for you guys.

Thanks! And I'm looking forward to it.

 

[some colour no doubt]

just before i go into the overall review, i'm just gonna say, i love this phrase

The ground type cast a take-no-shit glare upon the scene

one of the best descriptions i've heard, made me cough up my tea

Right, onto Chapter 1

Spoiler

Right, not sure if it's just me, but when the initial fight between Heracross and Charisma is happening, Salem states that

Salem felt like banging his head against a rock for being so dumb as to forget Heracross learned that move

Yet at an earlier stage, he says that

Salem had only managed to see more Sentret than he had energy to count, a few low-level birds that looked like Johto's Starly equivalents, and some purple rats that seemed equally as generic. He knew that he'd promised Electra that he wouldn't do anything without her, but he'd have snuck some training in anyway if the Pokedex he'd received from Professor Elm hadn't named all the pokemon species to be normal types, not to mention so weak it would have been a pointless endeavor.

From this phrase i drew that Salem didn't know very much about Johto pokémon? Whilst he is obviously a trainer with some experience and might recognise a Night Slash attack, he probably wouldn't know that it was in a Heracross's list of moves. Of course i might have just drawn the wrong thing from it.

I'm gonna say, i love your descriptive style. You have an excellent grasp for using similes and and other descriptive tools to paint a vivid picture of what is happening, and more than once it had me chuckling over my breakfast. I particularly love the dry humour that Salem uses when referring to Cherry, and his sense of superiority is well offset by the connection to Charisma (odd choice of nickname though), which makes him a well fleshed out and deep character with lots of potential. And i think i'd agree with him, i wouldn't be able to stand someone who just aims to capture "cute" pokémon.

You also have a great talent for writing dialogue, which is where a lot of authors can have issues in making it believable and flow right, but you seem to have it down well, in both the conversations between Salem and Cherry and Electra and Aspen.

And finally, the dull bit, grammar stuff, mistakes are in bold

“Lit~!” she said and her ghost-flame flared up as she took a breath like an opening bellows and blew bright orange fire at the Heracrcoss. The opponent cried out from it's burns and flew higher in an attempt to get away from the whirlwind of fire. It dove and looped through the air, trying to escape, but Charisma sent her flames after it, not letting it get away until finally her breath ran out and she had to stop her fiery onslaught.

The boy looked about fourteen and ready for some hard journeying. His hair was pale and kept back from his eyes by a sideways

Don't think i've ever heard hair described as "pale" before. Light or wispy maybe, but never pale.

Event Summery:

Should be Summary, was also the case in your first post as well.



Chapter 2

Nothing that i could spot error wise, so all good on that front.

Salem's psychic abilities are sure interesting, and give you a lot of room to expand in the future, as we the readers have little idea what he is fully capable of, and his intervention with the Arbok was well done, though i might have preferred to see the actual pokémon take it down perhaps between the four of them. Though saying that, i don't think Cherry would have been much help and with their low level pokémon it was a bit unfeasible, so it was a good way of ending the fight, aided by having a stronger trainer pokémon turn up.

Character wise, this is great. If this is going to be a more standard journey fic, then you will need to keep this up, as it tends to be what can drive these kind of stories as encasing an actual plot into a journey fic can be difficult at time. Keep up your writing style and this shouldn't be a problem.

As for plot itself, we're only two chapters in so i'm not really expecting to see the whole story laid out in front of me, so good job on keeping the pacing well done as well as having a good chapter length.



All in all, a well written story with some funny lines which helped me wake up this morning, I look forward to reading your future chapters!





Some Colour No Doubt

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Thank you muchly for the review and taking the time to read my fic! Hearing a bit of criticism was really great, its given me a few more things to pay attention to in later chapters.

From this phrase i drew that Salem didn't know very much about Johto pokémon? Whilst he is obviously a trainer with some experience and might recognise a Night Slash attack, he probably wouldn't know that it was in a Heracross's list of moves. Of course i might have just drawn the wrong thing from it.

You didn't draw the wrong conclusion or anything, its a valid concern. I figure this is more Salem just being too hard on himself for not realizing he put Charisma in danger, though. I mean, you're absolutely right, even Salem can't be expected to know the move list for every pokemon, especially in a region he's never been to. O_O

Charisma (odd choice of nickname though)

I have a theory that Salem's little sister suggested the name, but then again Salem is pretty metro, so he could easily have come up with it himself. It's the kind of diva name he would like. >.<

You also have a great talent for writing dialogue, which is where a lot of authors can have issues in making it believable and flow right, but you seem to have it down well, in both the conversations between Salem and Cherry and Electra and Aspen.

Thank you very much! My habit is really to put down the dialogue first, no tags, nothing, and I figure that way, if you can still pretty much figure out who said what, then you're on the right track. After that, I then go back and insert tags and action.

Don't think i've ever heard hair described as "pale" before. Light or wispy maybe, but never pale.

Good point. This is my mistake. At the time when I wrote that part I hadn't decided what color Aspen's hair was going to be (actually, Aspen went through a couple of name changes before I settled on it. He was going to be named Jasper and have orange-ish hair, but now he I've decided on whitish-green hair.) I forgot to go back and fix it properly.

i might have preferred to see the actual pokémon take it down perhaps between the four of them. Though saying that, i don't think Cherry would have been much help and with their low level pokémon it was a bit unfeasible, so it was a good way of ending the fight, aided by having a stronger trainer pokémon turn up.

Bones would have had a shot of taking it out, but to be honest I didn't think of it until later, since I planned it this way to introduce Prim. I justify it by thinking they were too panicked to really think of it either, and they didn't know for sure what level the Arbok was to risk Bones and had no intention of hanging around to find out. O_O

All in all, a well written story with some funny lines which helped me wake up this morning, I look forward to reading your future chapters!

Thanks again! Chapter three is coming along, so I hope when its posted, you and everyone else enjoys it! We get Rivals! O_O Well, sort of. Actually in this fic I think you can just tack on the modifier, "Well, sort of," to just about every traditional pokemon trope.

 

[harryheart]

Well this was a really interesting read actually. I felt it was a great way to introduce a new setting, new characters and also look into backgrounds and the stroy's behind the characters too and why they were where they were etc.

Plot:

I really like the plot you've created here and the backdrop you've created to it by using your characters. There definitely seems to be a lot of merit to its direction and where it's being based from, and I am especially impressed with the execution of individual plot points and they way you 'state' them through the characters. I feel you've created a very interesting premise with what looks like a great upcoming adventure and a lot of humor with it too!

Characters:

I enjoyed them all! I can't think of a single moment where they felt bland or boring. They all have their own quirks and that really works for them individually and in the way they interact with one another and their Pokemon etc. I felt they were dynamic and very lifelike, and this appeared to come over very well through your speech and character descriptions/behavioral comments too. They're a unique set by the seems of it, and it'll be interesting to see how they cope yet grow at the same time.

Style + Technique:

I really enjoyed your writing style and the flow it developed and created. It really made it seem as if I was there watching everything unfold in front of my eyes. My only grime about it was you appeared to write 'The hell' a lot where it seemed 'What the hell?' would've been more fitting. There were a few other examples in different forms but they worked either way and weren't as particularly confusing when trying to read. Overal I felt your writing has an edge to it that I've not really seen in much other fics, or even in many authors at all and it's one of clear crispness with your development and movement in plot that's supported by description and growth in characters!

 

[Flaze]

Well originally I was coming in for the review game but what the hell it was a wonderful ride anyway.

Honestly I hate to sound repetitive cause I'm going to end up saying the same things other have said.

Anyways in regards with plot it's still only two chapters in and it is a journey fic so that's the basic of it. However, even if it's a journey fic you've made it a lot more interesting thanks to the little things behind the scenes. The fact that Salem already has experience as a trainer and is starting back with just one Pokemon (a la Ash except Salem's actually smart enough to remember that it isn't his first journey) another thing that caught my interest were Salem's psychic abilities, you don't usually see these type of things being expanded on fic but I like how Salem is actually able to use his psychic powers but also has his own limits but I'm curious to find out more about it.

Grammar and description were pretty good, the first chapter was pretty much spotless but I did notice a couple of mistakes in the second, nothing too biggie and it didn't deviate from the flow. That's another thing, the way your chapters flowed were pretty good, I wasn't able to finish this sooner cause I get distracted easily xD but otherwise when I finally got caught in it I couldn't get away. While it is true that the chapters are long I don't mind cause they're awesome and the reason for that is because of that length because that's what makes it all the better.

Now on to the characters which is about half of what makes this fic so great the characters themselves are character types that have been seen before but they're so different at the same time that it makes them really unique and I have to congratulate you for that.

But I'm not going to just leave it at that so I'd like to talk a little bit about each character.

Salem: An experienced trainer, he seems a bit goofy at times but you can tell that he has a lot of experience, at least you can once he stops blabbering about ghost types, but regardless I really like his obsession, you don't usually see characters that are obsessed with a certain type of Pokemon and this matches well with Cherry's own obsession making for the exchanges between the two to be something amazing. As a battler Salem is obviously skilled but as a psychic user he still has a lot of work and I'm impatient to see how much he is able to grow.

Electra: Childhood friend but I like her attitude, even if she scolds Salem it's obvious that she cares for him more than she lets on as her story during the first chapter showed. The fact that she's Volkner's sister interests me it's a nice twist and one that I particularly like, if Salem is the character that intrigues me more cause of his personality and experience then Electra's the one that intrigues me more cause of her backstory and feelings.

Cherry: I know that in chapter 2 you apologised for the way Cherry acted but I actually like her very much xD her silly and ditzy behaviour sets her apart from the other characters and makes for great comedic relief. Her history is also something that intrigues me a lot, cause it's obvious that she's not exactly happy about her behaviour even when she knows what's wrong with her. I like her because of her determination well...kind of, Salem helped with that xD but I'm sure that Cherry can grow to be an even greater trainer if she has the ghost freak as her teacher.

Aspen: out of all the characters he's probably the weakest to me, he's obviously the straight man character considering how his POV went like during chapter 2 but I'lll have to learn more about him before I can make a choice.

I'd comment on your style but everyone else has already xD just like to say that I really find it unique how you combine third and first person, kind of like the characters are the ones talking but they're trying (and failing) to be unbiased.

By the way this is the longest review I've ever given someone and I'm glad that it was your fic.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Chapters 1 & 2 Review

I came across your post in the Directory Thread, as well as the Atlas, and got interested in this story.

The first thing I want to say is how much I loved this story. I've always like Journey/Trainer stories, and I feel it has been done really well in these two chapters. Obviously, this story is very much dependant on the characters, and in that regard, all of them were well-defined and fleshed out. The story itself, and how it coyly pokes at various aspects in a Journey paired with how the first two chapters worked as two individual prologues, reminded me of Soul Eater.

The Pokémon themselves shined as well, with each of them taking a small part of the story for themselves. I felt the one most expanded upon was Charisma, but all of them were successful in showing their personality traits. Sweetness is the one least fleshed out considering how she was in the story for an entire Chapter, when many needed less, but then again, she was hit over the head with a bone, and she got Cherry as a partner.

Regarding Cherry, I felt that the mixture of "Idiot" and "Genuinely Trying" was done really well. From Salem's perspective, she's just the shrill, annoying girl who is there as an excuse for him to show off his Ghost Pokémon. For Aspen, she's a friend who can be a bit of a ditz sometime, but is ultimately loveable. For Primprose, she's the fragile sister that she has to protect. From the humans, I personally felt that Cherry was the most developed of characters.

Now, onto the technical stuff:

...and got told off by her brother for reeking havoc in his gym when he was trying to renovate it. Good times.

Should be "Wrecking", because Electra "reeking" around the Gym is a strange image, to say the least.

...which was probably somewhere in the building right this moment raising hell, as the trickster was wont to do...

I'm not sure about the first one. It's a flashback, so I think it should be "That". The second one should be "Known"

...he wasn't all that sure we wasn't just having a really awful dream himself.

"He".

...waiting to gulp them down only a few feat away and it wouldn't stay down for long, not something that big and powerful.

Should be "Feet".

Anyway, I loved this story, and I thought it was well-done. It is one of the best stories in the Workshop, in my opinion. I look forward to reading more.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Notes: Dang it, I wrote +12k when I was trying to keep chapters at around 9K or less. Oh well, I guess I'm just incapable of writing reasonable length stuff. Anyway, the whole chapter is in Aspen's POV, just because it worked out that way, but I think this will help clear up some misgivings people had about him lacking in personality compared to the others. He just didn't have the chance to fully [strike]snark.[/strike] emote properly last time, you know? Too busy trying not to die.

The area near the end may have some type-os and such since I didn't go over it as much as I did the rest, so you're forewarned.

---

Chapter Three: In Which Rivals Appear and Aspen Is Informed of the Health Problems Associated with Stress

---

[The next morning on Route 29]


The sun had only just risen over the peaceful camp which the group set up the night before, but Aspen was already awake and changed, studying the league guidebook diligently as the others continued to sleep.

Or at least he was trying to. It turned out that Electra snored—loudly—and every time he managed to read a paragraph she'd suddenly snort like a Tepig and roll over in her sleeping bag, nearly surprising him out of his skin. Of course then he'd forget what he was reading about and have to go over the section on Falkner's battling style all over again.

He snapped his book shut and lay back against his camping pillow, wondering what the heck he and Cherry were doing with these people. Sure Salem helped Cherry catch a pokemon and Electra saved him from taking acid to the face, but that didn't really explain how they'd suddenly wound up traveling with them.

Aspen sighed, thinking back to the day before.

Yesterday, after Primrose caught the Arbok that nearly had them for lunch, everyone realized that running for their lives had made them hungry and it was already after noon, so Prim invited them all over to the Robins' house for some lunch of their own that didn’t involve giant serpents.

“Dig in, everyone!” she'd said cheerfully over unopened cups of instant ramen and a platter of strawberry cake.

Aspen and Cherry, being used to Prim's complete lack of cooking skills and addiction to the local pastry shop's cake, didn't bat an eyelash and just accepted the offering, dutifully filling their ramen cups with hot water and allowing the noodles to rehydrate. Electra and Salem just stared at the table like they expected someone to jump out and say, “Psyche!” and hand them sandwiches.

Idly stirring the packaged seasoning into his ramen, Aspen examined the two older trainers. He still didn't know what to think of them yet. The walk back to Newbark Town had found him listening as Cherry told him all about Salem saving her from a Heracross and helping her catch a Sentret, which gave him some information, but not really what he was looking for (especially since this was Cherry's version of events, so the story took some deciphering). By the end of the story, Aspen had gleaned that Salem was a ghost pokemon trainer (so he was obviously a weirdo), he wouldn't know something cute if it was shoved in his face, and he had a pokemon that looked like a candle—and that was pretty much it.

Even so, he sounded alright, but Aspen wouldn't pass judgment until he'd observed the guy himself. He'd been stepping in to get rid of shysters who pretended to be friends with Cherry, only to take advantage of her naivety, since he was six years old and Aspen wasn't about to let his duties lapse now.

And he still wasn't all that certain about Electra, either. She was...bossy. And loud. And seemed bizarrely strong. He could already tell she was going to be annoying, just call it a hunch. But in any case, girl or not, Aspen wouldn't pick a fight with her, verbal or otherwise. He was pretty certain she could kick the ass of anyone he knew, if she didn't snipe or scream them into submission before the confrontation even escalated that far.

Aspen sighed and slurped his noodles. Electra and Salem still maintained unwavering, stupefied expressions in regards to the offered meal of high sodium instant noodles. Aspen decided he was getting annoyed and covertly elbowed the closest of them, (who happened to be Salem).

“Don't be picky, just eat the damn ramen and pretend to like it...,” he whispered through his teeth. Salem seemed to take the hint and snapped out of it. Sort of. Something snapped, at any rate.

Laughing weirdly, a lopsided grin spreading across his face, the older teen said, “This looks great, thank you for the meal, Miss Robins!” and peeled off the top of his ramen cup with inordinate enthusiasm.

Aspen could only stare as Salem continued to make the meal out to be the best he'd ever been offered. Okay, he didn't have to pretend that hard. What a freak.

Electra shot her friend a confused expression. “The heck are you talking about Salem, this is—ow!” She raised her brows. “Did you just kick me in the shin?!”

Salem ignored her, still talking to Prim. “We're both really thankful to have been invited,” he said with the utmost politeness and an earnestness that would have been more appropriate had he been speaking to an exotic princess.

Prim smiled beatifically in response as she cut herself a piece of cake. “No problem,” the researcher said. Aspen scowled, was she preening? Prim continued, kindly saying“My baby sister's friends are welcome anytime! And you can just call me Prim, no need to be formal here, right?”

“Alright then, thanks Prim,” Salem said, friendly as could be, and Prim just ate it up, easily charmed into submission by his respectful manner. She loved it when people treated her like an adult instead of the little girl most of the parents in town still thought of her as, despite her age.

“So, Prim, you're a pokemon researcher?” Salem asked while Cherry shoveled noodles in her mouth. Electra seemed to give up on the idea of a sandwich spontaneously manifesting onto the table, and sullenly opened her ramen cup to set about making it edible.

Prim's smile grew even brighter, if that was possible. “Oh, I'm just one of a couple of assistants under Professor Elm, but one day I hope to become a pokemon professor!” she confessed. After stuffing a big piece of cake in her mouth and chewing it, she continued, “I want to study the effects of happiness and friendship on the evolution of pokemon. I believe that the relationships between people and pokemon are what will help us both grow in the future, and pokemon who evolve as a result of friendship are a visible manifestation of this.”

“Oh, that's very interesting!” Salem said, and to his credit it sounded sincere. This was all stuff Aspen had heard before though, (at length) so he was only half-listening as Salem asked, “Did you become curious about the subject from seeing your Chimecho evolve?”

Jingle, sensing it was being talked about, looked up from his bowl of pokemon food at the table to happily chirp, “Chiime~!”

Prim giggled and gave her pokemon an affectionate head-rub. “Wow! You know your stuff! You're absolutely right! When I was a young trainer, I thought it was wonderful that my and Jingle's love and trust for each other could allow him to evolve from a Chingling into a Chimecho and grow stronger, and I've wanted to be a pokemon researcher ever since!”

She sighed dreamily. “It's my belief that nothing is a more powerful force for change than friendship, and one day I'll be able to prove it and encourage trainers to treat their pokemon like friends and companions!”

“I think you have a worthy goal, there,” Salem said with an approving nod, as if his opinion was worth anything. Aspen tried not to audibly groan. What a suck-up.

Prim looked mildly embarrassed. She batted a hand in an, “Oh, you~!” gesture and cleared her throat, changing the subject. “And what about you two?” she asked him, her gaze sweeping around the table to include Electra. “You're pokemon trainers, right? How long have you been training pokemon?”

Salem looked over at his companion to contribute, but Electra was slurping noodles while eying Salem with displeasure. Realizing she was annoyed with him (for what Aspen felt were pretty obvious reasons, but of which Salem seemed completely ignorant), the ghost specialist just spoke for both of them.

“About three years for me, and Electra one,” Salem answered. “We're from Sinnoh and we came to Johto to challenge a new region, since we've been friends a long time but haven't been able to go journeying together until now.”

Prim clapped her hands together happily. “Oh, that's wonderful! A pokemon journey is the perfect way to deepen the bonds of friendship!”

“It's true!” Salem agreed and they laughed merrily together like morons. Aspen thought he was going to be sick. By the sour look on her face, Electra was having a similar reaction.

Cherry, who'd been inhaling her lunch at the speed of light as everyone talked around her, suddenly set down her empty ramen cup, the Styrofoam making a dull thunk as it was dropped onto the table. Looking uncharacteristically serious, her chair screeched against the tile as she stood up.

“Okay, sis, that's enough,” Cherry said and both Prim and Salem abruptly stopped laughing, the younger girl having gained the attention of the entire room.

Slowly stepping around the table to stand in front of her sister, Cherry squared her shoulders, her mouth pursed in determination. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she continued, snapping her eyes back open and pinning her elder sister with an earnest stare.

“Prim,” Cherry began, her hands squeezing into fists, “you've taken care of me all this time. Ever since Dad left to follow his dream of being a Tauros rider in the rodeo circuit—”

Salem and Electra exchanged baffled looks. Aspen stifled a cough, feeling embarrassed on the Robins family's behalf. He'd almost forgotten about Mr. Robins and his crazy...well, just his craziness.

But Cherry wasn't finished. She swallowed, continuing, “—and I know you probably had all sorts of things you wanted to do, but I was there, and you wouldn't leave me. But...”

Cherry hesitated. Her face became an expression of effort as she reached for a plain pokeball—the one housing Bones, which Prim had lent her—and placed it on the table.

“B-but I've got my own pokemon now,” Cherry said, her voice growing stronger. “I'm a trainer, and I've got friends to go on a journey with. So...so I'm giving back Bones and I'm going to take the gym challenge!” Her lips quivered and eyes watered as she scrunched up her face and finally declared, “You don't have to take care of me anymore!” an almost desperate shrillness to her voice, as if she might break at any moment.

The room fell silent. Aspen suppressed the desire to pound his head against the table in exasperation. Leave it to Cherry to say something so private and heartfelt to her sister in front of a couple of strangers and non-family members—she was so courageous and honest that it was sort of embarrassing. Being privy to a talk like this was not something Aspen had expected when he'd agreed to come over for lunch. This was the sort of conversation one had with a person alone—as in, with no one else around. If Aspen were Prim right now, he'd probably just die from the shame. He might just do it anyway, that was how awkward the situation was.

But the inappropriate venue for such a talk aside, Aspen had never seen Cherry act so...so serious. Well, she was plenty serious at times—usually about things that weren't especially serious at all, such as catching the cutest Sentret— but this was different. She'd obviously been stewing on the subject for some time, but he'd never heard Cherry say anything to indicate that she was worried about being a burden to Prim. He hadn't realized she thought about things like that at all.

Cherry had always seemed so oblivious to her situation, so happy and excitable, even after her mom died. Even when her dad suddenly quit his job to work far away and left his daughters on their own. Even after her sister Ruby left to be an actress all the way in Unova, and she and Prim were the only ones left, their family having been whittled down to only two sisters as member after member left the house.

Aspen's eyes drifted down to his right hand, lightly gripping a set of cheap, disposable chopsticks. He wondered, had Cherry felt this way for a very long time? And if so, why had she never told him? He liked to think of himself as her best friend—her only friend. Her only real friend, anyway. None of those other people understood her like he did—cared about her like he did—and yet...

And yet...

And yet he'd somehow missed this.

Prim was quiet, watching her little sister try to keep a strong face under her intense gaze and lack of response. Salem and Electra held their breaths, doing excellent impressions of thin air. Aspen might have done the same if he'd thought to at the time, but mostly he was too distracted by his own thoughts to worry about much else.

After another moment of silence that lasted way too long for comfort, Prim finally looked down at the pokeball placed on the table by her sister's hand.

“Well...for the record, you haven't held me back from anything,” she said, picking up Bones's pokeball and letting it rest in her hand as she continued to speak. “And you're my little sister—looking after you is part of the job description. It doesn't matter who is here or who isn't, it would be the same no matter what.”

Prim sighed and sat back in her chair, one hand wrapping behind her seat as she eyed the now blushing Cherry with an annoyed expression. “Besides, you always do your best and you mostly try to keep out of trouble, so it's not as if looking after you is a burden, so there's no way that I would send you off on a pokemon journey just to get rid of you, no matter what you think or say.” Prim narrowed her eyes with a frown. “Is that clear?”

Cherry gulped. “Y-yeah...” she answered, her posture changing from stubborn to chastised as she ducked her head and fidgeted.

Prim snuffed and crossed her arms firmly. “Good, because you're going nowhere until I'm convinced you're prepared.” Sighing, she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and said, “Now, let's see this pokemon you've caught...”

Cherry raised her head and gave her sister a small smile. Her eyes were a bit glassy from some tears that had threatened to escape during the conversation, but her face radiated nothing but happiness and love. Aspen didn't get it at all, but he supposed Cherry had heard what she needed to hear and everything was back to normal.

He sighed in relief and from next to him Salem and Electra did the same. Wow, was he glad that was over with. He hadn't even taken part in the episode but he felt exhausted. Aspen found himself frowning as he made a mental note to give his friend a lecture on propriety. Cherry really needed to take others into consideration every once in a while. It wasn't fair to make him play witness to something that didn't have anything to do with him...especially something so emotional...

Cherry wiped her eyes and sniffed before puffing out her chest with pride. “Okay, I'm going to show you my pokemon now. You'll definitely be impressed!” she said with excitement, nodding to herself. She produced a pink heal ball from her belt and prepared to release her Sentret.

Aspen scooted to the end of his seat. He was pretty interested in seeing this pokemon she'd caught that was supposedly so 'perfect' and 'adorable.'

“Come on out, Sweetness!” the new trainer called, and tossed the pokeball into an open space on the dining room tile. The pokeball hit the ground and burst open, emitting a red laser that materialized into the shape of a familiar pokemon with unfamiliar coloring, it's release marked by a riot of iridescence.

“Sen~! Sentret~!” the pokemon said as it yawned and looked about the room with curiosity, its tiny nose twitching as it scented its new surroundings.

Prim slapped her hands to her cheeks and squealed her head off, suddenly sounding twelve instead of twenty-plus. “Kyaaah~! It's so cute! And it's shiny!”

“I know, right?” Cherry said, sounding extremely smug.

Aspen's mouth dropped open. Cherry had caught a so-called 'shiny' pokemon, the rarest of the rare? No way. Even luck had its limits, and if a pokemon like this frequented the easily accessible areas near the road, then it would have been taken by someone a long time ago, so apparently she really had been out looking for her perfect Sentret that whole time she'd been gone. Aspen was actually confused that Salem hadn't caught the pokemon out from under Cherry, as he suspected a lot of trainers would have, to get a hold of something this rare.

He examined Salem out of the corner of his eyes. The older teen was nodding at Cherry's accomplishment proudly, as if the thought of stealing the capture hadn't even entered his mind. Hm, maybe he was just an idiot?

“Talk about beginner's luck,” Electra grumbled, though she only looked a tad envious as she watched the Sentret hop onto Cherry's vacant chair, jump to the table, and over to Cherry's empty ramen cup fearlessly.

“I just wanna snuggle it~!” Prim said, beckoning to the little pokemon to come over to her seat, but Sweetness ignored her to sniff the Styrofoam cup before happily licking at the container's sides, still covered in broth. Jingle, still on the table, eyed the other pokemon dubiously, it's streaming tail moving to protect his bowl of pokemon food.

“Sen~!” the pokemon said, having licked the cup clean in record time. She sat back on her hind legs away from the ramen cup to look about the room curiously. For a recently caught pokemon, Aspen thought Sweetness seemed oddly oblivious to the presence of humans.

Prim made a pitiful face, her eyes sparkling and hopeful as she turned to Cherry with clasped hands, begging, “Can I hold it?”

Cherry immediately snuffed and turned up her nose. “No way, she's mine!”

Prim crossed her arms and huffed. “I guess you didn't really want to go on that pokemon journey after all...”

“Why don't you hold her sis! She's really soft!” Cherry immediately scooped up her Sentret from the table, (the formerly wild pokemon completely docile and compliant), and set her down in her sister's lap, the creature looking around obtusely as Prim rubbed it between it's ears happily and complimented it in baby talk.

“Fine, so you have a pokemon,” Prim said after a time, still monopolizing Sweetness. Her Chimecho was beginning to look a little jealous and it floated over to its trainer's shoulder to carefully supervise. “But who is going to go journeying with you?”

Cherry blinked in confusion, and vaguely gestured to her childhood friend. “Well, Aspen—”

Prim interrupted her. “Aspen is a good kid, but he's the same age as you are. Whose going to keep both of you out of trouble?”

Aspen was mildly offended. Yeah, Cherry was always in some kind of pickle, but since when did he ever get into trouble? Electra seemed to notice his irritation and smirked while he pretended he hadn't noticed her.

Prim continued lecturing, “I had my own pokemon journey, so I know that they can be pretty dangerous, especially if you don't know what you're doing. Just look at today! If I hadn't been there you could have died!”

Well, she did have point. Still, though, Aspen couldn’t think attacks like that were very common or no one in their right mind would let a ten year old walk to the next town over, much less all over the country on their own.

Cherry stamped her foot on the ground and puffed out her cheeks angrily. “That's not fair, Prim! You said I could go if I could catch a pokemon and found someone to go with me! You promised!”

Crossing her arms, not looking Cherry in the eye, Prim said, “Well, I've changed my mind! You're not going! Maybe next year I'll think you're mature enough.”

“Hey, hey!” Electra suddenly interrupted, causing both sisters to look up as if they'd just realized they still had guests present.

All eyes on her, Electra coughed into her fist and said, “Uh...I know this is a family thing, but, well...I'll just say it. Cherry is a teenager, right? Yeah, maybe she's not the most mature, but how is she supposed to learn to take care of herself if you keep holding her back? I know what it's like to have your family try to stop you from something you really want to do out of over-protectiveness. But if you already promised to let her go, then you have to!”

Stabbing an accusatory finger in Prim's direction, Electra declared, “If you're an adult that has the right to tell her what to do, then your adult enough to take responsibility for your promises. You can't renege and act like it's okay!”

“Yeah!” Cherry said, nodding enthusiastically at Electra's words, stars forming in her eyes. Aspen almost groaned aloud. It looked like Cherry might have become that smart-mouthed girl's fan.

Prim harrumphed. “That's all well and good, but will you be responsible for what happens to her if I let her go like this?” she said to the other girl, and without even waiting for a response, continued, “Hah! No, I didn’t think so!”

Suddenly put on the spot, Electra stiffened in alarm as Cherry gazed down at her, eyes sparkling with hope as she mouthed the dreaded words, “please, please, please~?” For some reason Electra looked over at him, as if Aspen might save her (something he had no intention of doing). Instead he just frowned, which caused her to frown back in irritation and look over at Salem for aide instead. She didn't get any though, Salem was too caught up in sympathy for Cherry's plea, not even realizing that Electra was trying to get his attention.

Unexpectedly, Electra caved almost immediately. She threw up her hands in defeat, saying, “Ack! F-fine! I'll take responsibility! She can journey with Salem and me.” The trainer slumped down into her chair sullenly and mumbled, “We're experienced, so if she goes with us I don't think she could get into all that much trouble...”

Seeing her last excuse crumble before her eyes, Prim nervously bit her nail, trying to come up with something to say. “B-but...”

“Yay!” Cherry jumped all over Electra, nearly yanking her out of her chair before she snatched up Sweetness and held her aloft, twirling in celebration. “You hear that Sweetness? We've got traveling companions!”

“Sentret~!” the pokemon replied, though whether she understood what was going on was anyone's guess.

Prim sniffled from her chair, reminding Aspen suspiciously of Cherry when she was at the end of her rope and starting to get frustrated with something enough to give up. “B-but...I'll be lonely! Sissy, no! Don't leave me like Ruby!” Prim complained, rubbing at what Aspen suspected were crocodile tears forming in her eyes.

Cherry hugged Sweetness to her tightly, facing her sister. “No! I'm going and you can't make me feel guilty about it!” she declared, though from the hesitant look on her face, it seemed like maybe Prim could. After a moment she hardened her expression and said, “If you're so lonely then get a boyfriend already!”

Aspen winced. Ouch, Cherry must have been getting mad. Prim's conspicuous lack of a boyfriend was something that she'd complained about to anyone who would listen for some time.

“Waa~!” Prim began to wail theatrically and Jingle pat its trainer on the cheek to comfort her, saying “Chiii~!”

Aspen sighed. Yeah, Prim was mostly just pouting now. Electra shook her head in disapproval at the sight while Salem bit his lip looking alarmed and confused as if he felt he ought to be doing something about the situation. Obviously the guy was a sucker for tears. Good to know, he supposed.

Her hands on her hips, unfazed by the scene, Cherry said, “Crying isn't going to change my mind so you might as well just stop right now!”

Prim hiccuped and continued to sniffle but otherwise the tears mostly dried up, proving she was exaggerating her despair, at the very least. “Sniff—fine, but...if you're going, then I have one more rule.”

“What is it now?” Cherry asked, not sounding especially trusting. What else was her sister going to put in her way?

In all seriousness, Prim took Cherry's hand in hers and gave it a loving squeeze. Her younger sister smiled hesitantly and returned it. With a defeated sigh, Prim took Cherry's palm and put Bones's pokeball into her hand, closing the younger girl's fingers around it. “You have to take Bones with you,” Prim said.

“What?!” Cherry exclaimed, not happy at all as she stared at the pokeball Prim had placed in her hand. Trying to hand it back, she said, “No way! He's your pokemon! And he doesn't even like me!”

In a tone that said her decision was final, Prim crossed her arms and explained, “Cherry, Bones will be there to keep you safe! If you run into a strong pokemon again, he can help. If you get lost, he'll know the way home. He knows who is trustworthy and who isn't. He knows which boyfriends will cheat on you after a month and which are true!”

Electra stifled a snicker and Salem raised an eyebrow at this remark. Aspen thought it said something pathetic about your taste in guys when you needed your pokemon's advice on a regular basis to pick out which wouldn't cheat on you.

Cherry seemed to find this particular reason to have Bones around equally as strange. “Um, sis, I don't really...”

Prim placed a hand on either of the girl's shoulders, looking her younger sister in the eye as she said with deep sincerity, “Please, just take him with you. For me. That way, I won't have to worry about you.”

Met with a request like that, Cherry could only sigh in defeat. “Well, okay. But only so you won't worry.”

The two sisters exchanged smiles and embraced.

“I'm going to miss you. Call me every day!”

“I will. I'll send you lots of pictures of my cute pokemon with my phone!”

Salem and Electra made happy sounds at the touching picture as Aspen let out a relieved breath. Finally, a resolution. He was basically done eavesdropping on Cherry's family problems. Nothing in the world could make him listen to more.

“Anyway,” Salem butted in. “If we plan on going anywhere this afternoon, we should probably get some supplies.”

Cherry jumped up right away. “Ooh! Shopping! I want to go!” Then she dashed out before anyone could stop her.

“Yeah, let's get out of here, quick. As in right now,” Electra said almost frantically and pulled Salem out of his chair and out the door before he could give an opinion on the suggestion.

“I'll just wait here,” Aspen said. He hadn't eaten any cake yet and he'd been looking forward to it. Being able to eat it in peace was even better.

“You're coming, so hurry up!” Electra decided on her own, and bodily tugged him out the door before he could even say, But, cake!

—Aspen scowled down at the closed book on his lap. Right, that was how he'd had ended up traveling with them. What an awful memory.

Oh well, nothing to do now but get used to it. It wasn't the ideal situation he'd imagined when Cherry had asked him if he'd go on a pokemon journey with her, but he supposed she couldn’t help that Prim was worried about her. And maybe this was better. Sure Salem was weird and Electra was brash, but if nothing else they didn't seem like bad people...probably.

He groaned and smacked his book against his forehead. Aspen hadn't actually thought it would make him feel any better, but he was still disappointed when his suspicions proved to be true.

Electra stirred in her sleeping bag and slowly raised up, blinking. Her Shinx, Luster, didn't even twitch in his slumber at the end of her pillow. She yawned a few times before cracking her neck and turning to sit cross-legged on top of the covers in her lightning bolt sleeping-shirt and Pikachu pajama shorts. The morning was chilly, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Hey Aspen, you're up early,” she said, bleary-eyed and slow-tongued from sleep. “What'cha readin'?”

The name was on the cover, but it was early, so he supposed he'd forgive her for asking. “The official league guidebook,” Aspen told her blandly. Though just now he hadn't been so much reading it as using it like a mallet.

She yawned and asked, “You didn't bring somethin' more interesting?”

He frowned. What kind of question was that? “I want to be ready for our first gym battle, so I'm studying,” he explained. What made her think he had time to read anything interesting? He had more important things to do.

Electra made a wry expression and regarded him with her head resting on one propped-up arm. “Don't you think studying for a gym battle is getting a bit ahead of yourself? You just started yesterday, you know. You haven't even had a trainer battle yet.”

Aspen frowned. Damn, a trainer battle, that was another thing he'd have to do. He pulled a pencil and his book of notes from his pack and scribbled a reminder to himself on the first blank page. “'Find a battle with a trainer so Ripple and I can gain some experience'...,” Aspen mumbled as he wrote it down.

The electric trainer cracked a wicked smile at the mention of his Totodile. “Aw, you're naming your Totodile 'Ripple'? How cute~!” she teased.

Unwilling to let on that he'd been successfully annoyed, Aspen just shrugged and said, “I guess,” as if it didn't remotely matter that she'd just emasculated his very male Totodile by calling him 'cute' (though it wasn't as if Ripple, still slumbering at his feet, would probably care).

Electra stretched again then crawled over her sleeping bag to rummage in her backpack. “But seriously, a trainer battle is a big step on its own, you know,” she advised him more soberly as she dug around in her bag. “It's great to be proactive, but you've got plenty of time to sharpen your skills before the first Gym. It's okay to take it easy and just bond and practice with your pokemon for a while. That's what everyone told me when I first started and they were right.”

“I don't have time for that. I want to get good at this fast so I can help Cherry,” he explained between grinding his teeth in irritation as he resisted the urge to scowl in disgust. Take it easy? Take it easy? Aspen wasn't the kind of lazy person who just 'took things easy'. If he was going to even bother doing something then he was going to do it quickly, correctly and thoroughly—hence studying and planning out his and Totodile's training regimen.

Electra, perhaps sensing that his mood was going down the drain, took a deep breath as if demonstrating for him and said, “Just rel~ax, okay? It's not a race. You're going to get an aneurism doing all that studying and stressing over things.”

Aspen figured he was probably more likely to get an aneurism from people trying to tell him what to do, but he kept his mouth shut. Instead he let loose a sigh and buried his nose in his book, making it clear to Electra that he intended to ignore her.

And Aspen did ignore her. Mostly. That was until he heard a lot of strange commotion and peaked over his book to find the other trainer cocooned out of sight within her sleeping bag, flopping around bizarrely. He felt like he was witnessing some kind of alien ritual the purpose of which he had no idea.

“What the heck are you doing?”

The muffled response from within the sleeping bag was, “I'm changing, don't look!”

“Oh,” he said and went back to his book, suddenly finding a list of Falkner's registered gym pokemon—a level ten Pidgey, a level twelve Spearow, and a level thirteen Hoothoot—very interesting. Though he'd been too tired to notice the sleeping-bag shuffle the night before, Aspen did remember that Electra had informed the boys that ifshe caught either of them spying on her or Cherry they'd get kicked in a very tender area.

It was quite a few minutes later before he dared to take a second peak over his book, prompted by more rustling sounds. This time it was a journey-clothed Electra, hair brushed and all, pulling out a kettle from her pack.

She noticed him looking and marched over to hold out the pot. “Hey, fill this up in the stream back there, would you?” she said.

Aspen frowned. “Why me?”

She frowned right back, one hand on her hip as she looked down at him. “Because I said so, rookie. Unless you want to stoke the fire up, that is?”

Aspen opened his mouth to deny that he was a rookie before he realized that, actually, he was a rookie. It was a little surprising because he was used to being good at almost everything he did, so being a beginner was something he only had short-lived experience with. He wondered if Electra was going to call him 'rookie' this entire journey. His pessimistic brain supplied the response, Probably.

“I'd rather stoke the fire,” he answered without looking at it first. It was a pretty easy job, so he felt confident: just throw some extra kindling and some more sticks and it would perk right up.

Electra wore a knowing little smile as she said, “Then be my guest,” way too sweetly to be innocent, and stood to the side as if she intended to supervise him. She reeked of mischief.

Closing his book, Aspen stood up from his sleeping bag, ready to prove whatever stupid ideas she seemed to have about possible camping inadequacies to be wrong.

And then he actually looked at the fire—only to find Salem's Litwick was SLEEPING in it.

He groaned and immediately held his hand out to Electra for the kettle.

She'd won. She'd gotten the better of him, since there was no way he was going to do anything to the firewith it like that, and she'd guessed as much.Aside from the fact that ghost pokemon creeped him out the hell out (he was of the opinion that dead things should stay in the ground, not bob in the air and scare the crap out of people for kicks), he'd found out the previous night that the thing was incredibly affectionate. He wasn't getting anything done without moving her, and moving her involved waking her up, and waking her up involved her trying to make friends with him—something he had no intention of doing.

“That was a cheap move,” he informed Electra as he accepted the pot with a sullen frown.

She just snickered and said, “Get to water-fetching, rookie.” Then she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Wow. How mature.” Aspen could tell that he was (not) going to have fun on this trip. Not when he was the only sane one. If it had just been Cherry, then things would have been peachy, but having two weirdos along was two more than his limit.

“Hey! I don't see any kettle-filling going on!” Electra snarked.

Aspen groaned and turned to tromp over to the stream she'd mentioned.

----

By the time he returned from filling the kettle, both Salem and Cherry were awake and changed. Cherry was sitting cross-legged on her sleeping bag and lovingly brushing her Sentret within an inch of its life—something which Sweetness seemed completely okay with. Actually, the pokemon seemed perfectly happy to put up with anything Cherry did to her. They really seemed to have hit it off.

The same could not be said of her and Bones, however. The Cubone was behind a nearby rock, still fuming sulkily at finding Cherry was now his trainer. It was the same place he'd insisted on sleeping the night before and the pokemon didn't seem as if he felt like forgiving the world anytime soon. Aspen could sort of relate.

Salem was bent over a plate, apparently slicing bananas. (This seemed a little dangerous, since Salem wasn't wearing his glasses—something the trainer had demonstrated having the night before when he took out his contacts for the day and put his glasses on to read some obscure magazine featuring ghost pokemon. But then maybe he'd already put his contacts in?) At some point he must have dozed off again while sitting up though, because Salem's eyes were closed and he was listing to one side with what looked like drool hanging from his mouth.


Aspen raised a brow. Ew...

“G'morning!” Cherry chirped brightly upon seeing him hand Electra the now full kettle.

Sweetness echoed, “Sen~sen~!” as she leaned her head into a brush stroke, looking very content.

“Yeah, good morning,” he drawled in reply, though he wasn't altogether certain of the truth of his statement yet. His morning so far had been pretty lousy.

“We're having oatmeal with fruit for breakfast, yum!” Cherry informed him with a grin.

Instead of reminding her that he'd already known that, (it was the menu they decided on the previous afternoon when they'd all went out to buy supplies together for the journey before setting off), he just made an interested noise that he knew would satisfy her. He then pointed at Salem, asking Electra, “Is he asleep?”

After putting the kettle on the fire to boil, Electra glanced over at the guy in question (who looked about to face-plant into the plate of sliced bananas), and scowled.

“Hey, wake up!” she shouted. “You're supposed to be cutting bananas!” The electric trainer nudged her friend's knee with her foot hard enough that it probably counted as a kick. It sort of worked.

Salem flinched and sat up straighter, looking annoyed.“Ow, stop! 'M up, 'm doin' stuff, don't kick me again,” he muttered groggily, not sounding very awake at all.

“I'd be more worried about slicing your own fingers off, than me kicking you,” Electra said.

“Lit~! Litwick~!” Salem's pokemon scolded, seemingly appearing from nowhere at her trainer's side—and for some reason the sudden manifestation didn't bother Salem or Electra at all.

A muscle beneath Aspen's eye twitched. The Litwick hadn't been invisible or something the moment before, had she? Ghosts could do that sort of thing, right? Great, now he'd be paranoid whenever the thing wasn't in his field of vision.

Electra smirked at the little ghost. “Yeah, listen to your pokemon, Salem! Put 'er there, Charisma!” Electra said, and stuck out her hand for the candle pokemon to high-five, which she did with her waxy little arm, quite enthusiastically. Aspen winced. He couldn't believe anyone would actually touch that thing.

Finally seeming to wake up enough to realize he was being mercilessly picked on by a double-team from his best friend and pokemon, Salem protested, “This isn’t fair, you can't gang up on me so early in the morning!”

“Stay awake and maybe we won't,” Electra replied. “Besides, it's hardly early, it's like eight-thirty already. Aspen as been awake since the crack of dawn and me just after.”

Salem rolled his eyes, falling backwards onto his sleeping bag with a flop! and staring up at the sky, sighing. “I don't get what's so great about getting up early that everyone insists I do it,” he mused. “Unless it prevents cancer by five thousand percent or something, I don't see how it's worth it.”

Electra picked up her pillow and chucked it at Salem's head, making him exclaim and sit back up. Cherry giggled in amusement. “Yeah, well, some people like to do things in daylight,” Electra quipped. “We're not all night owls, like you.”

Salem snorted. “If you were, I bet you'd be less violent—ow!”

It went on in a similar vein for a while, Electra eventually threatening to have her Shinx, Luster (who'd wisely pretended to still be sleeping throughout the exchange), electrocute Salem for reasons that no one even remembered by the time it was brought up. Aspen could admit he kind of wanted to see that.

He didn't get to though, since the whistler on the kettle went off and, after setting out bowls of food for their pokemon, they all set about eating their breakfast of instant oatmeal with hardy nuts, granola, sliced bananas and a couple blueberries mixed in. With the meal, Cherry had a juice box, he and Electra drank instant coffee and Salem had tea, which probably explained why he never wanted to get up in the mornings.

To be honest, the whole thing was more of a balanced breakfast than Aspen usually ate at home, and it was all thanks to Salem and Electra, weirdly enough. They'd told Aspen and Cherry at the grocery store that if they didn't eat something resembling real food, then there was no way they'd last the whole day walking. They had more useful knowledge too, like what food was easy to carry and would last a day without spoiling, but still make a satisfying meal. Things like jam and lunch meat that he took for granted at home weren't on that list. It had almost been enough to make him think traveling with the two older teens had been a good idea.

Almost.

It was as they were nearly finished eating and checking their phones for messages, that Cherry asked, “So what are we doing today? I just sent my sister a picture of my breakfast, and she's asking me about our plans.”

Electra raised a brow at the pointlessness of sending someone a picture of oatmeal, but didn't say anything.

Salem was the one who actually answered the question. “According to our map we're only about half a day from Cherrygrove, so we're on track for the plan we worked out yesterday afternoon—use the first half of the day to walk to Cherrygrove and the rest to restock and get some training in,” he answered her. “We get to sleep in an actual bed at the pokemon center for the night and start fresh the next day, heading to Violet City. Does that still sound good to you guys?”

Aspen shrugged. “It's fine,” he acquiesced.

Cherry made a fish-face, puffing out her lips in a pout. “So we have to walk all morning? Ew.”

“Yeah, ew,” Electra agreed. “But that will put us in Cherrygrove some time around one, so Salem can buy us lunch.” Grinning she added, “Make sure to take us to a good place, 'kay Salem?”

“Hey! Since when am I buying everyone lunch?” Salem exclaimed. This was the first that Aspen was hearing about it too, but he had no arguments. “If we go to a restaurant, why can't we all go dutch?” the older trainer complained.

“But the newbies don't have any winnings yet, they're poor! You wouldn't make them pay for themselves, would you? That would be heartless!” Electra reminded him, shamelessly exaggerating the pitiable nature of the situation.

“You're not poor,” Salem noted.

Electra smiled innocently and batted her eyelashes. “But I'm you're bestest best friend! You wouldn't treat everyone else but me, right?”

Salem grumbled to himself under his breath, having apparently lost the argument. Aspen knew that feeling. It was the same one he'd felt when Cherry had asked him to go with her on a pokemon journey. When they pulled the best friend card there was just no saying no.

“I'll text my sister that we're going to eat at a restaurant for lunch!” Cherry informed all of them excitedly and then set about doing it.

Salem sighed, probably realizing that once Cherry told her sister about it, he was committed, whether he liked it or not. “Well, if I'm paying for your lunch, then tell me what the deal is with that egg, 'lectra,” Salem said, pointing to the pokemon egg sitting in her pack.

“Oh, this?” she said, taking it out to show him. “My brother sent it to me when I talked to him on the vid-phone at the Pokemon Center yesterday.”

Salem eyed the egg suspiciously. “Hm, obviously a plant to spy on me,” he deduced. Aspen raised a brow. A plant? Spying? What the hell was Salem talking about?

Electra raised a similarly skeptical brow. “It's not even born yet, idiot, how could it have been given orders to spy on you?” she deadpanned.

The ghost trainer just shrugged, unconcerned by his friend's use of logic. Aspen got the feeling that Salem ignored logic quite bit. “I don't know, I'm not the mastermind, ask your brother,” he said. “But anyway, did he say what's in it?”

Hugging the egg to her protectively, Electra warned Salem, “No, and if you figure it out, don't go telling me! I want it to be a surprise.”

“But what are you going to do with it if it isn't an electric pokemon?” Aspen asked. Even to him it seemed a little messed up to raise a pokemon from an egg and then just ditch it or trade it away when it turned out not to be of your type specialty.

This was apparently not a problem, though. “Her brother is an electric type specialist too, so if its an egg from one of his pokemon, which it probably is, then it'll be an electric type,” Salem explained and, turning back to Electra, said, “Here, let me see it, Electra.”

“Don't tell me what it is,” she commanded him, but handed it over nonetheless.

“I won't, sheesh.” Salem took up the egg—a green spotted oblong sphere slightly larger than a softball—and looked it over carefully. After this, he closed his eyes for a moment as if concentrating, and when he opened them his expression was slightly frustrated. “I can't tell the species yet,” he said. “It's not very developed, so it'll take a while to hatch. Want to know the gender, though?”

Electra sighed in irritation. “I said no, didn't I? Stop trying to spoil it for me.”

Aspen frowned. Salem could tell the gender of the pokemon in the egg just by...looking at it? Wait, that wasn't right. He'd somehow sensed it. Aspen suddenly remembered the sight of the huge Arbok from the day before being tossed through the air by an invisible force. He'd been too busy running for his life to really analyze things, but thinking about it now, he had to wonder if that sort of thing was normal, even for someone who was psychic...

And then he remembered this was Salem he was talking about, and promptly realized there was no point judging any of his companions (much less Salem, who was the weirdest among even them) based on standards like 'normalcy'. They weren't even on the same scale as average people. They were just plain strange.

“Can I hold the egg?” Cherry hesitantly asked. As soon as Electra had brought it out she'd been gazing at it with interest, fingers twitching as if she just itched to touch it.

“Sure, just be careful with it,” Electra said easily, and Salem handed the egg over to Cherry, advising her to take it with two hands to be safe, which she did, moving it her lap so there was no possibility of dropping it. Aspen still thought Electra was being a little reckless with her precious egg. If it was Aspen's egg, he wouldn’t trust anyone to handle it but himself.

But Cherry looked really happy as she held the incubating pokemon egg on her lap, a bright smile on her face as she looked down on it in wonder. Sweetness even crawled up onto the thing, tilting her head at it curiously. Aspen suspected the pokemon was trying to decide if she could eat it.

Suddenly they heard voices.

“—looks fine for a battle.”

“—think I hear some people, though.”

Every in the group swung their heads around to the edge of the clearing where they were camped to spy three kids approaching.

“Ah, damn, you're right, there are people, here,” a short boy said. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called out to them, “Hey! Are you guys trainers?”

Aspen frowned. He was annoyed, though he couldn't exactly say why. “Who wants to know?” he answered before anyone else could.

It wasn't because he felt like being rude, honest. He was just being cautious.

Electra still leaned over and smacked him upside the head anyway.

The boy who'd spoken trotted up to them, revealing himself to be an utter weirdo. Aspen had thought Salem dressed strangely, but this kid took the prize. He was wearing black cargo shorts and a black and green tank top over a knit shirt and leggings, like the ninjas did in a certain popular cartoon he would never admit to watching. On his forearms and calves were black wrist and shin guards, to his back was strapped a huge insect net, and he was walking around in thong sandals. Oh, and he was short. Very short. Half a head shorter than Cherry, the smallest of all of their group. So basically, he looked like a midget who couldn't decide whether he was a bug catcher or a ninja boy.

Electra and Salem looked like they wanted to ask about the kid's outfit, but they didn't. Aspen had no such desire. He really didn't care what drove a person to wear something like that in public, he just didn't want to catch it.

“God, suspicious much?” the kid snarled, wearing a deep scowl. It seemed to be a permanent fixture. “Don't be a jerk, we're just looking for a place to have a battle!”

Electra waved a hand idly. “You guys can battle here if you want, just don't get too wild, we've got all our stuff over here.”

“Yeah, okay,” the boy said and turned away from them to scout the best place in the clearing to hold his match.

Suddenly, Aspen heard a familiar voice. “Cherry?”

Cherry's eyes widened in surprise as she recognized the speaker. “R-Regina?”

“Oh, Cherry, it is you!” Regina said, sashaying over to them. Leaning over to eye the sitting girl curiously, Regina blinked and asked, “What could you possibly be doing out here?” as if Cherry was a pet of hers who'd somehow escaped it's enclosure.

Aspen tried not to frown too openly. Back in Newbark Town, Regina had been dubbed royalty by the preteen population, and she was that popular for a reason. She always landed near the top of the class in every subject, she was nice and generous and everyone counted her as a friend, and on top of that she was tall, thin and athletic, with sleek mid-length purple hair, large, dark eyes and big, um...yeah.

Anyway, everyone was half in love with her, and perhaps partly because of this Aspen only found himself just barely able to tolerate her.

“I'm traveling,” Cherry explained, hastily standing up from her sleeping bag to speak to her friend, hugging Electra's egg to her chest as she did so.

Regina raised a skeptical brow and tapped a finger to her chin in consideration. “You, traveling? With a pokemon and everything?” she asked as if the very idea was farfetched at best.

Cherry dipped her head in a shy nod.

The other girl tilted her head. “Huh. Well, color me impressed, I never would have expected you to get further than a mile from town before it got too difficult for you.” She smiled down at Cherry and pat her on the head dotingly. “Good for you!” she congratulated.

Cherry blushed at the compliment. “Y-yeah,” she murmured.

Aspen ground his teeth. Cherry always got like this when Regina was around. She thought the other girl was just so much better than her, treated everything Regina said like it was solid gold, and believed every belittling thing she told her. He'd gone to great lengths over the years to help Cherry do things on her own, but whenever Regina showed up it was like she reverted back to helplessness and Regina didn't even seem to care. He couldn't believe the two girls used to be best friends back in elementary school.

Sweetness, climbing up Cherry's sleeve to her shoulder, barked, “Sentret~! Sen~!”

Regina blinked. “And this is your pokemon? How precious!” She pat Cherry on the head again like a child, and advised, “Make sure you take care of it properly. Remember that time you forgot to feed the class fish in the third grade and it died? We'd hate for that to happen again, wouldn’t we?”

“I-I'm taking really good care of her!” Cherry hastened to assure her, looking up at Regina like she was some kind of princess or superhero.

Regina nodded. “Good, good. Well, I've got a battle to attend to. You should watch. You might learn something, you being a novice and all.”

Cherry's eyes sparkled in anticipation. “Can I?” she asked.

Regina winked. “Of course!”

Someone stepped in front of Aspen, blocking his view of Cherry and Regina's conversation. Uninterested in whoever it was, he leaned to look around them but the person just moved again to block his way. Aspen sighed and glanced up to see who was making a nuisance of themselves.

The annoyance turned out to be a weedy looking boy his own age with short black hair, pronounced freckles and glasses that he kept fiddling with. “Well, if it isn't Aspen, my rival in grades and I guess now my rival in pokemon,” he said, wearing a self-satisfied smirk.

Aspen stared up at him.

And stared.

“...who are you?” he finally asked.

The boy's face flooded crimson and he yanked at his hair in frustration. “I'm Brian! You always do this!” he shouted.

Brian? Didn't ring any bells. “Well...Brian...I don't know what you're talking about,” Aspen said as he stood up, ready to walk around the guy.

The boy looked about to go ballistic. “We've been in the same class since the second grade!” he shouted. “You always beat me on math tests but I usually beat you out in history, and one semester last year I finally had a higher class ranking than you! It was the greatest day of my life!”

“...no, still don't know you.” Beating him in the class ranking was the greatest day of this kid's life? Wow, what a pathetic life. Especially since Aspen was usually in the top five without even trying.

Before this Brian kid could have a pulmonary embolism, the ninja boy shouted, “Hurry it up, I haven't got all day!”

Regina scowled, narrowing her eyes in disapproval. “Excuse me, I'm talking with a friend here!” she replied, casually flipping her hair over her shoulder as if to drive home exactly how much she gave a crap about his day.

The ninja boy's brows snapped together and he stabbed a finger at her in defiance. “Did you come to talk? 'Cuz I came to battle!” he goaded dramatically. Geez, this kid was watching too many cartoons.

Regina wrinkled her nose in irritation, but told him, “Fine.” Taking out a plain pokeball, she moved to a place across from her opponent and said, “Juliette, let's teach this brat some manners.”

Tucking a lock of hair behind one ear, she pulled back her hand and tossed her pokeball into the empty space between herself and her opponent, releasing a red laser that manifested into a confident looking Chikorita.

“Chiko~!” it said, glancing about the clearing calmly. Upon seeing it had an audience, it promptly preened and swept its leaf behind it glamorously. Aspen wondered if Regina had taught it to do that.

The ninja boy smirked. “A Chikorita, huh? In that case, I choose you, Sting!”

The boy threw what Aspen recognized as a nest ball by its green cap and yellow stripe, and out popped an energetic Beedrill, raising it's needle arms like a jouster would raise a lance, it's membranous wings vibrating with a bzzzz! Seeing the Chikorita across from it only served to raise its thirst for battle, the pokemon quivering with anticipation.

“A Beedrill, I see. Looks like your friend has a type disadvantage,” Salem noted, watching the two trainers critically from a spot sitting cross-legged on the grass near Aspen's feet, his pokemon seated in his lap. Electra and Luster were already right next to him, eyes glued to the field of the upcoming battle, and at some point Cherry had sat down as well, right next to Electra, the egg resting in her lap and Sweetness curling up to take a nap on her head.

Aspen frowned. When the hell had they gotten there?

“Hmph! Regina is the best at pokemon in our whole grade,” Brian informed Salem, chin raised in the air proudly as he adjusted his glasses. “It doesn't matter if she has a type disadvantage, she'll still win,” he insisted.

Then, without so much as a by-your-leave, Brian strutted passed him and planted himself next to Cherry on the ground. Not seeing that he had much choice, Aspen sat down next to the guy, the five spectators now lined up in a neat row on the sidelines of the makeshift field.

Salem considered Brian's declaration. “Well, that Beedrill isn't a very high level,” he said. “It probably evolved recently, so it may not have the attacks to take advantage of its typing, so it's not like she has no chance at all.”

From next to him, Electra was nodding. “And to a skilled trainer, a type disadvantage is something that can be overcome. Us type specialists know all about that.”

“Shii~!” Luster agreed from her lap. Electra's fingers moved to scratch him behind the ear affectionately.

“Hm, hm,” Cherry said, nodding as she took in the conversation in earnest. Aspen was surprised to see that she appeared to be genuinely paying attention and filing the information away somewhere in that head of hers. Though whether she'd be able to retrieve it later was something else entirely.

Bones marched over to the sidelines from whatever rock he'd been moping behind and planted himself in front of the watchers in a huff, his arms crossed and eyes on the battlefield, completely ignoring them.

Salem raised his brows. “Oh, are you going to watch the match too, Bones?”

“Bu~bone~!” the Cubone snarled and brandished his bone club at Salem threateningly.

“Shut up, ghost bastard!—is what he said,” Salem translated, wearing a wry smile.

Aspen was unsure if he ought to take the guy seriously or not. Could Salem actually tell what pokemon were saying? Or was he just making it up as a lame attempt at humor? Hmm...

“Bones has a bad mouth on him, huh?” Electra noted with amusement.

“Bones, don't say things like that!” Cherry chastised her pokemon, aiming a scolding finger his way. Apparently she believed Salem, but that didn't really mean much in his estimation. Cherry was once talked into believing that the moon was made of sugar.

“Bone~!” The Cubone just recrossed his arms and turned away from his new trainer with the nose of his bone helmet raised in a snub. This was noncompliance if Aspen had ever seen it, but Cherry just nodded as if it was the response she'd been looking for.

Aspen sighed. These two seriously had communication problems.

Brian leaned into Aspen and held up a hand to block his voice from reaching the trainers further down the row, and whispered, “What a bunch of weirdos, huh? Hey, Aspen who are these guys, anyway?”

Aspen shrugged. “Cherry picked them up. We're traveling together now, I guess.” He didn't see the point in explaining more than that. Besides, the events leading up to this situation weren't memories he wanted to revisit.

“Huh. Sucks for you,” Brian replied with a smirk.

“Yeah...” He did feel a bit sorry for himself...

There was a quiet plop! from his free side and Aspen noticed Ripple settling in next to him. When the Totodile saw Aspen looking at him, he said simply, “Toh~” then sat there watching him, waiting for his trainer to reply.

Aspen had no idea what to say. How did you talk to a pokemon anyway, when you couldn't tell what they were saying back to you?

“Um...you gonna watch the match?” he asked his Totodile, feeling stupid.

Ripple nodded. “Toh~” He figured this was a 'yes'.

Aspen itched his neck. What to say, what to say.... After an awkward pause to think, (wherein Totodile stared up at him the entire time making the situation feel even more uncomfortable), he finally suggested,“Then...let's use this opportunity to study trainer battles.”

Ripple nodded in understanding. “Toh~,” the pokemon said, and shifted his attention back to the field.

A shout from the ninja boy interrupted the conversation. “If you're done posing, can we start the damn match now?” he said, tapping a foot against the ground in impatience.

Regina frowned, throwing her hair back over her shoulder and pretending like she hadn't been taking advantage of the sunlight to flaunt herself and her Chikorita. “Whose posing? I'm just waiting on you, Slowpoke,” she replied with a haughty sniff.

Ninja boy scowled in a huge, exaggerated expression that took up his whole face. “Fine!” he declared. “I was going to go easy on you since you're a girl and a newbie, but now it's no more Mister Nice Bug Catcher!” Pumping his arm for emphasis, he called out, “Sting? Let's teach this girl a lesson!”

“Bzz~zz~!” his Beedrill affirmed, jabbing it's twin stingers in the air, raring for a fight.

Regina smirked. “Juliette, let's end this quickly, I want there to be tanning hours left on the beach by the time we get to Cherrygrove.” Throwing out a hand, she commanded, “Tackle attack that bug, now!”

“Chik~! Chiko~!” her Chikorita shouted, and leapt into action. Racing across the grass, the pokemon lowered its head, ready to barrel into the large bug with maximum force.

“Sting, dodge by flying up in the air!” the bug-training ninja boy shouted.

His Beedrill vibrated it's wings and zoomed into the air over the field above Juliette as the Chikorita came to a sliding stop after missing its opponent, now too high for her to Tackle.

“As if that would stop us!” Regina said with a grin, and gave the command, “Razor Leaf, Juliette!”

“Chiko~!” the grass pokemon said, and swung the large leaf on her head sending a spray of sharp-edged leaves flying towards Sting.

The Beedrill dipped and dived, trying to avoid the projectile vegetation, but the pokemon was a big target and Juliette's aim was spot-on. The Razor Leaf flurry cut through the air, slicing gashes into the bug's armored exoskeleton, but the damage received was minor. Plant attacks just weren't the best weapon against insects.

Regina narrowed her eyes, biting her lower lip as she considered the situation. “Keep up the attack, Juliette!” she said. “Aim for it's wings!”

The ninja boy ground his teeth together as a new onslaught of leaves pelted his Beedrill, leaving it unable to get close enough to unleash an attack of its own. The bug pokemon could only endure the Chikorita's Razor Leaf and attempt to protect it's delicate wings from damage that would render it unable to fly or avoid a Tackle attack.

“Grr, try to ground my Beedrill, will you?” the bug trainer growled. “Sting, they're just leaves, use Harden, and shake 'em off!”

“Bzz~zz~!” Light spread across the Beedrill's armor, leaving it's surface shiny from the compression of the exoskeleton. It's defense now raised, Juliette's next contacting Razor Leaf storm mostly bounced off, inflicting pitiable damage.

Regina smirked. “Good idea, but Harden won't save you from this.” Pumping her fist, the trainer called out, “Juliette, Poison Powder!”

“Chik~! Chiko~!” Juliette swung her head leaf, releasing a cloud of bright purple spores into the air around her.

The ninja boy grinned. “Sting, show that Chikorita what we think of her Poison Powder!”

The Beedrill dove into the poisonous airborne substance, dispelling the deadly cloud with a few passes of aerial agility, coming out of the experience no worse for the wear and leaving Juliette without her poisonous protection.

Regina's eyes widened in confusion. “Huh? But—”

Hands on his hips, ninja boy laughed, pleased with the situation. “Heh! Beedrill is bug and poison type, so it's immune to poison! Poison attacks won't work on us, but they'll sure work on you! Sting, use Poison Sting!” he commanded.

(Aspen lowered his brows reproachfully, feeling the need to comment on the situation. “Sting, use Poison Sting? How redundant...,” he muttered under his breath. From his side, Brian hushed him immediately with a shh!)

The Beedrill's lance-like stingers glowed with energy and it swooped over the field, spraying a trail of bright barbs that stuck upright wherever they hit.

“Chiko~!” Juliette cried out as a few poisonous needles stuck into her skin before she could react to avoid them. The damage was serious enough make it difficult for her to dodge further attacks, though luckily for the Chikorita, she didn't seem to have been poisoned from the hit.

“Juliette, knock away those needles with your Razor Leaf!” Regina said.

Juliette hurried to comply, letting loose a veritable wall of flying leaves that met Sting's needles in midair, both attacks canceling each other out and scattering a pile of ravaged needles and leaves to the ground between the two opponents.

“Nice try, but you can't block forever,” the bug catcher said. “Keep up the Poison Sting!”

The Chikorita was able to dodge one attack and repel another with her Razor Leaf, but the Beedrill's Poison Sting didn't let up and the next spray of barbs hit her head on, causing severe damage.

“Chiko~!” she cried out as multiple stingers stuck into her skin.

Regina gasped. “No, Juliette!”

Both opponents were now visibly tired and injured. Juliette was studded with thin needles jutting from her back and hindquarters. Sting sported wounds from the multiple Razor Leaf strikes and hovered listlessly from the extreme effort of trying to dodge and attack on the wing.

Ninja boy smirked, apparently sensing his victory. “Heh, looks like your Chikorita just couldn't stand up to my superior bugs.” Wearing a lofty expression, he shrugged and boasted, “Then again, it's only natural, since bug pokemon are the best!” he declared.

As if on cue, Electra cupped her hands around her mouth and interrupted, shouting, “No way, electric pokemon are the best!”

Salem followed quickly behind her with his own declaration, of, “No, ghost pokemon are totally the best and everyone knows it!”

Aspen sighed, feeling embarrassed to be within ten feet of these people. In hindsight, he should really have expected something like this to develop. Ugh, type specialists...a bunch of drama queens, seriously.

The ninja boy rounded on his jeering audience with a deep scowl. “Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery!” he commanded.

“Then stop telling lies!” Electra said, and Aspen highly suspected the motivation behind her response was to be an irritation, rather than to genuinely defend her beliefs about type-superiority.

The boy turned away from the watching trainers and back to his battle with a snuff of disdain. “Whatever.” Facing Regina, he asked, “Do you want to give up now, or let my Beedrill finish thrashing you?”

The edges of Regina's mouth rose into a knowing smile. “Give up? But we're just getting started!” She threw out a hand and commanded, “Juliette, Synthesis!”

“Chik~chiko~!” her pokemon shouted and flashed brightly as she absorbed the abundant sunlight. When the light cleared, Juliette was looking significantly healthier, needles gone, scratches and scuffs healed and energy renewed.

Ninja boy was left stunned as all the damage he and his Beedrill had worked to accrue over the battle disappeared in an instant. “What? That's not fair!” he complained.

Regina just laughed coyly behind a hand before telling her pokemon, “Tackle attack, now!”

“Chiko~!” the Chikorita replied, an assured smile finding its way onto her face as she ran towards Sting, the Beedrill hanging low in the air, just barely able to stay off the ground.

The bug flapped its wings, trying to rise higher and evade the attack, but it was tired and Juliette was once again fresh. She barreled into the bug pokemon, knocking it to the ground. Sting slid across the grass, kicking up bits of sod before coming to a stop near the center of the field at the end of long skid mark in the dirt.

“No, Sting!” the bug trainer cried out anxiously and ran from the sidelines onto the field to check his pokemon's condition.

Kneeling in front of the battered Beedrill, the trainer lifted the giant insect from the ground, the pokemon too tired and bruised to raise itself. Sighing, he gave Sting a comforting pat on the head and withdrew his nest ball. “You did good, Sting. You've earned a rest.”

“Bzz~zz~!” the pokemon sounded, lightly vibrating its still beautiful, translucent wings with the last of its energy.

Raising the pokemon's ball, he recalled Sting and stood up, head hung in defeat.

“Oh!” Cherry said in awe from the sidelines and clapped hard and loud, her eyes shining with admiration. Salem and Elctra joined in with much more moderate clapping, looking more amused than anything else. Regina's personal fanboy, Brian, put his fingers to his lips and loosed an earsplitting whistle that made Aspen wince, and immediately followed Cherry in clapping up a storm. ASpen had the vague feeling that the guy was having a one-sided contest, trying to cheer the loudest.

“I~win~!” Regina beamed from ear to ear, flashing a victory sign to the audience. Taking out a pokeball, she told her pokemon, “Great job, Juliette! Time for a rest!” and recalled her with a zip!

Looking incredibly pleased with herself, Regina sauntered across the semi-destroyed field to where her opponent was wiping his eyes on his wrist guard and pretending he wasn't. Stopping in front of the boy, she asked, “What was that you were saying about a thrashing?” with a self-satisfied smirk.

Her opponent groaned in frustration and dug in his pocket for a few bills. “Ugh. Fine, you win,” he snapped uncharitably and held out his hand. “Here's your stupid prize money.”

Accepting the cash with a simpering smile, Regina said, “Why, thank you~! I do believe I'll use this to finance a pedicure.” Turning back to her audience, she said, “So, any other takers? I can almost afford a manicure, too. Juliette's tired, but I still have another pokemon. Anybody? Cherry?”

Cherry blanched. “N-no, thanks,” she stammered and hugged Electra's egg to her.

Regina nodded, as if this was the response she'd expected. “Well, that's probably for the best.” Aspen would honestly have been very surprised if she'd accepted the challenge, but for some reason the fact that Regina took it for granted that Cherry wouldn't battle her vexed him to no end.

Eying the other members of her audience, she scrutinized Salem and Electra, easily identifying them as trainers by the pokemon in their laps. “What about either of you two people? Want a match?”

Electra and Salem both sat back and made weird faces, obviously considering the idea.

Aspen scowled. At the beginning he hadn't had any particular expectations for the battle, but after seeing Regina win...well, he realized he hadn't wanted her to. He wanted to see her lose, and lose pathetically, and see the shock on Brian's face when his idol fell before his eyes. Yeah, he wasn't particularly fond of Regina, but that didn't even factor into his feelings. The truth of the matter was that Aspen was just accustomed to being pretty good at things, and the fact that he had yet to prove his proficiency in pokemon irked him, and seeing someone his own age, who he'd went to school, score a win, irked him even more.

He bit his lower lip, actually embarrassed of his own feelings. What was he, some little kid? Aspen knew he was smart—some people (pea-brained, easily impressed people) even called him a genius—he knew he was good at sports and academics and just about everything else he'd ever tried, so he should have nothing to prove. He'd just started pokemon training, anyway. Regina had started her journey yesterday, the same as him, but she'd had pokemon since she was little and both of her older brothers were strong battlers. He had no reason to compare himself to her. None at all.

Still, though...still...

He wanted to kick her ass.

“So, either of you up for a round two?” Regina asked Salem and Electra again, neither of the trainers having come to a solid decision on the matter.

“I'll battle you,” Aspen said, standing up from the row of spectators. He tried to hide a wince as his legs nearly gave out from the lack of oxygen after sitting so long in one position.

Regina's eyes brightened. “Oh! I guess it's my lucky day after all!” she said cheerfully.

He scowled. Her confidence was really pissing him off.

Looking down, he gave his pokemon a nod to follow him. “Come on, Ripple,” he said.

“Toto~!” the pokemon replied and obediently followed after him as he started toward the field. He couldn't help but notice that the Totodile looked a bit green around the edges. Was he nervous? Nervousness was a useless emotion, it only got in the way of accomplishing your goal. What you needed was calm, so you could react quickly and objectively to obstacles. That was the first thing he would teach his Totodile during training, he decided.

“Um, you think this is such a good idea, Aspen?” Electra stopped him, a dubious look on her face. “You haven't even had a wild battle yet, aside from that Arbok, and we kind of lost that one.”

A vein in Aspen's forehead twitched. He was seriously getting fed up of her constantly questioning him and talking like she knew so much more about this stuff than he did (which granted, she did, but he wasn't an idiot, okay?) The electric trainer was acting like some kind of annoying elder sister, and as an only child who liked it that way, he didn't appreciate the 'little brother' treatment.

Shooting Electra a peeved look before he left to take his place on the field, he said, “I got this. I don't need your advice, okay?”

“Let the man do his thing, Electra. The only way to learn is by doing,” Salem said solemnly, and for half a second it crossed Aspen's mind that the ghost trainer almost looked cool—but then his mouth stretched into silly grin and he cheerfully added, “Besides, if he loses we can point and laugh!”

Aspen lowered his brows, unamused. “That's not helpful,” he deadpanned.

Salem shrugged, still smiling like an idiot. “Who said I was trying to be helpful?”

Aspen sighed. Great, he was traveling with a couple of wannabe comedians over here. The next thing he knew, they'd be having contests to try to make him laugh, (something he'd already proven impossible to his classmates, multiple times).

“Toh~” his Totodile said from near his feet, but it meant nothing to him. Aspen figured he'd start to catch onto what his pokemon were saying pretty soon, but in the mean time it was frustrating to not understand what Ripple was trying to tell him. He could be saying anything from, “Let's go,” to, “Your fly is down.” He just didn't know.

Regina moved back to stand in her command position while Aspen walked to the end of the clearing, passing the ninja boy, who was shuffling towards the spectators row. Neither of the two boys spoke as they exchanged places, Aspen drinking in his first taste of what it felt like to face another trainer in battle.

It didn't really feel like anything.

“Oh no! Who should I cheer for?” he heard Cherry wail, but he didn't have the time to pay attention to her right now. Let Salem or Electra talk her down, since they seemed so bent on stealing her away, anyway.

“I'm using my Totodile,” Aspen informed Regina. He gave Ripple a nod toward the field and the pokemon scuttled into the clearing taking a defensive stance, already preparing for an attack.

In that moment, Aspen decided he liked his Totodile. He'd been kind of skeptical before—not being a huge fan of pokemon in general, and himself actually training one in particular—but the fact that it reliably did what he told it to was pretty refreshing.

Regina tapped her chin. “So you picked a Totodile, huh?” Taking out a different pokeball from Juliette's she readied herself to toss it. “All right then, Lucille, we have an opponent. This ought to be a piece of cake, so let's go!”

Throwing the pokeball into the clearing, Aspen braced himself for the worst, maybe another grass type or an electric pokemon. Just about anything could come out of that ball, but whatever it was, he would be ready. Ripple didn't have very many attacks, but whatever their opponent, Aspen was pretty sure he could come up with some kind of strategy to combat it.

The pokeball's red laser materialized into a shape.

“Nii~nidoran~!”

---

Event Summery:

• Electra, Salem, Aspen and Cherry became a party!
  
• Bones joined Cherry's team!
  
• Ninja Boy challenged Regina to a trainer battle!
• Sting is unable to battle!
• Ninja Boy is defeated by Regina!
  
• Regina's Juliette obtained experience!
  
• Juliette rose to Level 14!
• Aspen challenged Regina to a trainer battle!

@Cosmos; @Lance;

 

[AetherX]

I can't believe you. I refuse to read anything past the first 9000 words because this is just unreasonably long.

So since this is supposed to be a humorous fic I guess I should say that you did not disappoint. I laughed out loud a multitude of times. In public. Bravo!

Plot's super basic so far, nothing wrong with that. Just a few friends and recent acquaintances journeying it up. Characterization is where this fic really shines. I love how you change POVs chapter to chapter and the narrator voice changes with it. The fact that it's seamlessly done is especially notable. For example, it was immediately clear to me that the Pokemon were only semi-translated in the first chapter because things were from Salem's point of view. The characters themselves are really neat, each bringing something different to the table and fleshing each other out along the way. They're each kind of crazy in their own little way, which makes the multiple viewpoints especially interesting. I love how the interactions bring humor in themselves, even when a snarky comment is not being made. I haven't laughed at someone else's misfortune (fictional or otherwise) in a long time. I have to say I identify with Salem the most at this point despite his... eccentricity. Aspen kind of has his head up his ass, Electra's a little bitchy for me, and Cherry's... Cherry.

Flow-wise, things are getting along really well. The only issue I had was the transition out of the the flashback in chapter four. It was a little jarring, but I caught on pretty quick. The transition in was perfect, though. Not exactly sure what the elements of a good flashback transition are so I can't really offer any advice, just my gut reaction.

Your writing's pretty much spot on. As I said above, I love the way you incorporate the current narrator's voice into the description. As is, though, I feel like there could be a little more description of the environment. You do a good job of incorporating some alongside the action, but I'm often left wanting for a little more specificity as to the setting. you do a great job of this with describing the characters, so maybe it's just that it doesn't fit any of the narrators' voices.

Only a couple things:

Besides, if he looses we can point and laugh!

Although Aspen does need to loosen up a bit, I don't think that was the point here.

“Your not poor,” Salem noted.

You even italicized it for me!

Contraction traction, what's your faction? I don't think how it goes...

[Bones] knows which boyfriends will cheat on you after a month and which are true!

There is an innuendo in here somewhere I swear.

As with all of my reviews, this was written late at night, so I apologize for any incoherency. Keep it up, you've definitely got something great here.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

@AetherX; Thank for reading! And definitely thanks for the review!

So since this is supposed to be a humorous fic I guess I should say that you did not disappoint. I laughed out loud a multitude of times. In public. Bravo!

Thank you! I do worry sometimes that my writing isn't funny to anyone but me, but when someone says they laughed out loud, it makes me warm and fuzzy inside. I'm glad you found it amusing!

Plot's super basic so far, nothing wrong with that. Just a few friends and recent acquaintances journeying it up.

For the record, the overall plot is basically characters change from being A to being B. No one saves the world. No one is ever in more peril than, say, the Arbok incident that transpired earlier. That's just how it's going to be, and I love that someone else seems to appreciate that. Even if Arceus doesn't jump in and hand anyone a magic jewel from space or something and call them the chosen one, I hope you and others still find it to be entertaining, just for different reasons.

I love how the interactions bring humor in themselves, even when a snarky comment is not being made.

I am really happy you think that. You know, I find snark as funny as the next chick, but when a story's humor comes mostly from snark, I personally think it gets pretty boring, even annoying, so I'm glad that my fic so far has managed to avoid that. Helpful observation.

I have to say I identify with Salem the most at this point despite his... eccentricity.

Cool to know. Yeah, Salem and Cherry are probably the most sympathetic of the protagonists at the moment, so that makes sense to me. Even so, I think as the story goes on, you'll see that the others have their good points as well. Salem is probably my favorite of the mains too, though! (Shh! Don't tell the other characters!)

I think I will also take this opportunity to point out that everyone in this story is crazy. Everyone. No exceptions. If they seem sane, trust me, they aren't. I think everyone has their own bit of weirdness and I think that is something that actually makes characters more relatable, rather than less, in a lot of ways.

The only issue I had was the transition out of the the flashback in chapter four. It was a little jarring, but I caught on pretty quick.

I agree with you there. I was having a bit of trouble with that spot. It was even more confusing before, but it could definitely be better. The obvious answer would be to take it out, but I mostly did it this way because that 'memory' was literally the only interesting thing that day the audience that happened, and it was absolutely necessary to know for the story, so I couldn't skip it. It felt weird to write a small section happening on one day and then skip to the next in the same chapter. Also I guess I just kind of have a thing for flashbacks. Three chapters, and I've already written, like, two.

I don't know, maybe one day I'll have a brilliant idea and fix it. Do you think extra spacing between the flashback part and the main narration would be helpful?

I feel like there could be a little more description of the environment. You do a good job of incorporating some alongside the action, but I'm often left wanting for a little more specificity as to the setting. you do a great job of this with describing the characters, so maybe it's just that it doesn't fit any of the narrators' voices.

Hmm, I see. My personal feelings about description are that when I'm reading something, I usually skip it because most of the time it's boring, long-winded and unnecessary. With that in mind, I usually don't write much description other than to say the characters are in a kitchen or a forest or whatever, unless said environment is unusual in some way. I mean, we all know what a forest and a kitchen look like, I don't generally need to describe one to you for you to be able to visualize one. But I guess I can see how some people would like a little more than that. In the future I'll try to add a bit more of that kind of stuff in there. I mean, a sentence or two here and there wouldn't hurt anything, and if it would help you [the audience] get into things than its totally fine. I can do that.

Thanks again for the review, AetherX! It was both encouraging and very helpful. I hope you continue to read this story!

P.S. I fixed those parts you mentioned.

 

[Flaze]

I have to agree with AetherX in that Prim’s description of Bones was priceless xD mainly cause that just shows how paranoid she actually is about things. Actually I liked what you did with Prim, she seems more like an older version of Cherry rather than the wise mentor figure I originally thought she’ll end up coming out as.

So remember that in my last review I said that Aspen was the character with the least focus on his POV, well you shut me up with this chapter. By focusing the whole chapter on him we were able to see more of his personality, and I’m kind of glad that my original idea of him being the straight man was okay.

The funny thing is that in being the only sane person in the group he’s also really broken himself, he’s very picky, sarcastic, critical and a against trying things he’s not used to doing (preferring to stoke the fire instead of going to get more water even though they’re both relatively easy tasks) thus this makes him completely different from the rest of the group (I was gonna go with friends but I don’t think that’s quite right) in that he’s not as accepting of the world around him and prefers to think about the things he’s going to do before he does them. But he also cares a lot about Cherry and honestly wants to do what’s best to protect him, so I admire him for that and the fact he ended up turning out to be a prodigy at…everything.

Also I liked the little joke you made about people taking pictures of their food, that was priceless xD on that note I also liked that you showcased Salem’s and Electra’s previous experience with traveling in how they knew what kinds of food they would need for their trip, it really shows that they know their stuff.

Onto Electra and Salem, Electra was probably the second greatest character in this chapter, it’s nice to see that she’s more than just the violent and responsible girl but she’s also very playful and…a bit annoying which is a nice refreshments, she has a sense of humor to her and this in turn made me give her more points in this chapter, I think she’s actually starting to grow into being my favorite character. Also she sounded like a pregnant mother that didn’t want to know the gender of her baby when the whole egg thing came up :3

Oh my god Aspen likes Naruto! also the word is boobs Aspen*shot*

And I liked the fact you gave Cherry and Aspen rivals…or whatever Brian is. The thing I enjoyed about them was that they’re basically the polar opposites of Cherry and Aspen.

The battle was pretty good, it was quick but at the same time it had a nice pace that allowed it to show off the actions of the Pokemon very well, I was intrigued by what you did with Harden though, not a lot of people tend to go with the classical representation. On that note it’ll be interesting to see how you use levels here considering Aspen mentioned them before.

And to close on this now I’m even more impatient to read the next chapter (I promise I won’t take so long to read!) now that Aspen is getting a chance to battle against Regina, I hope he wins.

Anyways, this chapter was very very pleasing to me, like I said before your fic is unique for even journey fics because it grabs the essence of what the genre is. You’re not trying to create a gritty version of the Pokemon games, it’s the complete opposite, you want to add realism to it and also deconstruct the world and the journey itself and it comes out as a very humorous but at the same time hearty story that I quite enjoy…really, your fic is probably one of the best ones I’ve read and it’s only got three chapters.

….this review is long xD and in truth I have a lot more stuff to say. There were a few spots in the chapter where you missed some words but these were very few instances and it didn’t deviate from the story.

I don’t know what is it about your fic that allows me to write reviews this long but I like it and I hope you can keep up with this!

 

[ShinyFlareon]

I apologize if this review's a little simplistic - it's getting on 4 in the morning for me.

That said, I'm really enjoying this so far! I think Cherry is actually my favorite character, believe it or not. I just can't help but cheer for her. Her insecurities and lack of knowledge actually make her the most relatable one of the group; with the children/siblings of gym leaders and a better-than-you braniac running around, things can definitely be difficult, especially for a beginning trainer, but that only makes me want to see her succeed more, so she can overcome these obstacles. I can't wait to see how she reacts to Whitney's gym. I'm also kind of torn between wanting her to do really well in the gyms and league (Furret kicks a surprising amount of ass) and wanting to see her get into contests and prove to everyone that Coordinators are just as "legitimate" as league trainers.

Salem is also really quirky and sincere - a great foil to Electra and Aspen. I love how he's just so enthusiastic about everything, but still very knowledgable and willing to help. I can already tell I'm going to love Charisma as well. I've got a soft spot in my heart for Fire-types, so it's nice to see one in a team that otherwise wouldn't have any. She compliments Salem very well, and even though she's very young, I can already tell she's going to become a star battler.

I don't know how much this means to you, but Electra immediately reminded me of the character Severa from Fire Emblem: Awakening. I'm...honestly not sure how I feel about her. She's quite the loudmouth, very bossy, and not above taking advantage of others in order to get what she wants. I feel like there's something beneath the surface that we just haven't found out about yet that explains this behavior, but right now, it's kind of rubbing me the wrong way. I would've liked to see more of Luster's interactions with the other pokemon as well. Is the egg an Elektrike? That's the only green electric-type I can think of, unless Volkner decided to be the ultimate troll.

Aspen...again, I'm finding that I really don't know what to think about him. He plays the arrogant, serious smart guy a little too straight, if that makes any sense. I feel like if he's just going to complain about everything, then why should I bother trying to become invested in his character? Again, I really hope that there's some more to him beneath the surface that just hasn't had time to come out yet, though I did enjoy his interactions with Ripple.

Other than that, I think you've got a very solid start to what promises to be an exciting journey story. Aside from a couple of typos, your grammar and spelling were fine.

That'll be all from me for tonight. Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[AetherX]

I know it's been a little while, but I wanted to respond to this. I just needed time to get my thoughts together.

My personal feelings about description are that when I'm reading something, I usually skip it because most of the time it's boring, long-winded and unnecessary. With that in mind, I usually don't write much description other than to say the characters are in a kitchen or a forest or whatever, unless said environment is unusual in some way. I mean, we all know what a forest and a kitchen look like, I don't generally need to describe one to you for you to be able to visualize one. But I guess I can see how some people would like a little more than that. In the future I'll try to add a bit more of that kind of stuff in there. I mean, a sentence or two here and there wouldn't hurt anything, and if it would help you [the audience] get into things than its totally fine. I can do that.

I understand what you mean, but I get kind of annoyed when people write off description as unnecessary and meaningless and say that it slows down the story (I know that's not exactly what you're saying, but I have heard some people using those words). Without description, the author's story may move quickly and maintain a level of action, but it ultimately turns out to be flat and lifeless. Without insight into how the author imagines the world, it can be very difficult to get involved as a reader, even with an engaging story. Super in-depth description for no reason other than to tell the reader what stuff looks, sounds, feels, or smells like can be tedious. However, a good writer knows how to use description to not only set the scene, but provide some insight into the story.

I guess I'll start where this isn't the case. If your characters are walking through a forest, then you're quite correct. There is no real reason to explain the shapes of each leaf on every tree. A little description here and there can be immensely helpful, though. Weather, for example, is something that is too often ignored. Whenever your characters are outside, try to make a habit of mentioning what the weather's like. Just that simple little bit of description makes the world so much more believable and immersive. Especially in your case, where perspective plays such a huge part in your style, it helps to think about what your characters would be noticing. The description that you choose to include can be very telling about the current POV character.

It all comes down to that good old maxim, "show, don't tell." Two sentences of description the moment your characters walked into the kitchen in Chapter 3 could have told us a ton. This is the home of not one, but two of your characters. Description of the kitchen could have hinted at Prim and Cherry's relationship, how they were raised, how they act, quite a bit. You could have hinted at Prim's cooking ineptitude and love of pastries (a wonderful bit of specificity as is) without even saying it outright. A sentence or two, or even an adjective here or there, can bring so much to the story to reward the perceptive reader. Plus, once your readers get used to these flashes of insight, new doors are opened. You can utilize symbolism and foreshadowing to take your story to a whole other level.

I'm being a lot pickier here than I normally would, but that's because you're a talented writer. You could change absolutely nothing about your writing and everyone, myself included, would have no problem enjoying this story thoroughly from start to finish. I'm just being a lot more critical than with most other authors in an effort to help you improve. This is the kind of advice that I myself don't always follow, but that's why I'm not that great of a writer in the first place. Hope this helps!