- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 69,135
- Reaction score
- 302
Okay so, I will admit your chapters do have a thing for making me get attached when I'm reading, like what happens does get to me a lot of th etime and that's probably why I'm always talking about Alaska's reaction and stuff.
I liked Leaf, I do, and I honestly understand everything she's saying and I agree with her and I think she's been the most patient and has tried to be the most understanding towards Alaska. So things taking a turn for the worst as they usually do just made it even sadder. I agree with what Alaska wondered to herself at the end, it seems like she's just being left on her own and every relation she makes fall through. Iknow what you're trying to do, but just making everyone she meets an enemy makes it hard to imagine things could ever go better.
And really that's my biggest issue on the whole chosen one plot, every time it gets tackled it just sinks deeper and deeper to the point that I'm wonder...what's the point? I mean realistically speaking there's no reason as to why things should get better for Alaska, I honestly can't see how she'll end up becoming this hero everyone expects her to when over 60 chapters in she still hasn't calmed down and stopped acting like everyone is out to get her. I know it makes sense with her character and i know that realistically speaking it'd be hard for her to just change like that. But realistically speaking it also doesn't make sense to me how someone could go through all those things and being told off by so many people and not listen at all, like not even care to change, I mean it's your story man but it's starting to become a slog and her developtment is really really slow with very little payoff.
But ignoring all that cause I know I'm just repeating what I always do. There's not really much else to the chapter, don't get me wrong, I liked the chapter for what it is and it was good but it really was just the four of them talking all through, and while I stayed entertianed it does cause the story to drag when most of it is dialogue.
Also I appreciate that the characters didn't explain what happened in viridian because it's supposed to be common knowledge but I wouldn't mind getting an actual explanation of what happened by the narration or like as a tip at the end of the chapter. Even if you explain it in the new draft of the chapters well...it kind of feels like you're just forcing your readers to go read again when you could just also explain it here or like send PMs to the people that want to know but don't have time to reread, I'm just saying it'd make my life a lot easier.
I liked Leaf, I do, and I honestly understand everything she's saying and I agree with her and I think she's been the most patient and has tried to be the most understanding towards Alaska. So things taking a turn for the worst as they usually do just made it even sadder. I agree with what Alaska wondered to herself at the end, it seems like she's just being left on her own and every relation she makes fall through. Iknow what you're trying to do, but just making everyone she meets an enemy makes it hard to imagine things could ever go better.
And really that's my biggest issue on the whole chosen one plot, every time it gets tackled it just sinks deeper and deeper to the point that I'm wonder...what's the point? I mean realistically speaking there's no reason as to why things should get better for Alaska, I honestly can't see how she'll end up becoming this hero everyone expects her to when over 60 chapters in she still hasn't calmed down and stopped acting like everyone is out to get her. I know it makes sense with her character and i know that realistically speaking it'd be hard for her to just change like that. But realistically speaking it also doesn't make sense to me how someone could go through all those things and being told off by so many people and not listen at all, like not even care to change, I mean it's your story man but it's starting to become a slog and her developtment is really really slow with very little payoff.
But ignoring all that cause I know I'm just repeating what I always do. There's not really much else to the chapter, don't get me wrong, I liked the chapter for what it is and it was good but it really was just the four of them talking all through, and while I stayed entertianed it does cause the story to drag when most of it is dialogue.
Also I appreciate that the characters didn't explain what happened in viridian because it's supposed to be common knowledge but I wouldn't mind getting an actual explanation of what happened by the narration or like as a tip at the end of the chapter. Even if you explain it in the new draft of the chapters well...it kind of feels like you're just forcing your readers to go read again when you could just also explain it here or like send PMs to the people that want to know but don't have time to reread, I'm just saying it'd make my life a lot easier.