GhostFingers
Total Melon
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2013
- Messages
- 639
- Reaction score
- 30
I used to do drugs. I smoked ganj for about 6 years and did class As for about a year. Let me tell you all something from this perspective: IT WAS FUN. The reason drugs have been cultivated so much over the millennia is because getting high is fun, and it starts a little at a time but then ends up in incremental stages with full-blown addiction.
Weed was great, and i loved the ritual involved (ie preparation. grinding, rolling smoking). My mates and i practically worshipped the magic weed. It was something we could all do together, something for every occasion (celebrate or commiserate). The problems were caused by us no longer being able to get by without it. That's the point when you could categorically say we were addicted. We did eventually go down the path of harder stuff to feel different kinds of highs and i'll reiterate: IT WAS FUN. I've had some totally mind-blowing and irreplaceable experiences. Some of those nights are still infamous amongst those of us who were there.
But what goes up eventually comes down and this was a lesson more literal for me than anyone. I lost control. I eventually lost my awesome flat, a couple of treasured possessions, a boyfriend and a whole bunch of fairweather hangers-on. In retrospect of course, losing that last thing was good. I also lost my mind a bit, and that's the scary part. I continued to smoke weed until the December after the big emotional crash. I started to get really bad panic attacks triggered by smoking weed. It was really sudden. Just one day, i took a bong and about ten minutes later was convinced I was having heart attack and i would die. So since then i haven't so much as touched a joint (except the rare times i've been around tokers, and i rolled one for them). When the bad outweighs the good, there's no point in taking drugs, and i'm glad i was able to recognise that.
There's a whole bunch of life-lessons i would never give up on or change the past for without them, i wouldn't be entirely wiser for it. I don't condemn people who take drugs, because i've been there, and it's a perspective you can't actually have if you don't have that experience. I did relapse into hard drugs but fortunately events conspired to remove that temptation before too long. It's a bit of a struggle every now and then to not relapse again. I keep telling myself i am better for being without the hassle, though, and that seems to work for the most part. I still know stoners and i still like them. (And as i mentioned rolling a joint for them for 'old times sake' gives me pleasure). I know what people are like when addicted though, and the nature of addicted people as opposed to light very occasional users is different. Addicts want one thing: their next fix. This is why many people don't trust them. Rare users don't need drugs in the same way, and to heavy users it seems like they have amazing control or willpower, but it isn't that. They just think about drugs differently. Having lived both sides of the fence i can see that.
Sorry for the ramble, but it really was a huge part of my life for a big portion of my life, so you can see why i would have a lot of views on the subject. Basically, if someone has their drug use under control, it really doesn't matter. It's still the same person. If someone is an addict, that's when the behaviour changes and it would be better for that person to stop, but the choice to stop ultimately can't be forced by another. It will only come from within if it is true desire to change. You can't choose to change someone, but you can choose how much time you spend with that person.
Weed was great, and i loved the ritual involved (ie preparation. grinding, rolling smoking). My mates and i practically worshipped the magic weed. It was something we could all do together, something for every occasion (celebrate or commiserate). The problems were caused by us no longer being able to get by without it. That's the point when you could categorically say we were addicted. We did eventually go down the path of harder stuff to feel different kinds of highs and i'll reiterate: IT WAS FUN. I've had some totally mind-blowing and irreplaceable experiences. Some of those nights are still infamous amongst those of us who were there.
But what goes up eventually comes down and this was a lesson more literal for me than anyone. I lost control. I eventually lost my awesome flat, a couple of treasured possessions, a boyfriend and a whole bunch of fairweather hangers-on. In retrospect of course, losing that last thing was good. I also lost my mind a bit, and that's the scary part. I continued to smoke weed until the December after the big emotional crash. I started to get really bad panic attacks triggered by smoking weed. It was really sudden. Just one day, i took a bong and about ten minutes later was convinced I was having heart attack and i would die. So since then i haven't so much as touched a joint (except the rare times i've been around tokers, and i rolled one for them). When the bad outweighs the good, there's no point in taking drugs, and i'm glad i was able to recognise that.
There's a whole bunch of life-lessons i would never give up on or change the past for without them, i wouldn't be entirely wiser for it. I don't condemn people who take drugs, because i've been there, and it's a perspective you can't actually have if you don't have that experience. I did relapse into hard drugs but fortunately events conspired to remove that temptation before too long. It's a bit of a struggle every now and then to not relapse again. I keep telling myself i am better for being without the hassle, though, and that seems to work for the most part. I still know stoners and i still like them. (And as i mentioned rolling a joint for them for 'old times sake' gives me pleasure). I know what people are like when addicted though, and the nature of addicted people as opposed to light very occasional users is different. Addicts want one thing: their next fix. This is why many people don't trust them. Rare users don't need drugs in the same way, and to heavy users it seems like they have amazing control or willpower, but it isn't that. They just think about drugs differently. Having lived both sides of the fence i can see that.
Sorry for the ramble, but it really was a huge part of my life for a big portion of my life, so you can see why i would have a lot of views on the subject. Basically, if someone has their drug use under control, it really doesn't matter. It's still the same person. If someone is an addict, that's when the behaviour changes and it would be better for that person to stop, but the choice to stop ultimately can't be forced by another. It will only come from within if it is true desire to change. You can't choose to change someone, but you can choose how much time you spend with that person.