- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 69,135
- Reaction score
- 302
Yay more Eve and Josh shenanigans...dude at this point you might as well call it the Eve and Josh show.
Anyways the last chapter was mostly set up for the actually tournament but it had a lot of fun moments, the scene in the cafe made my day, I didn't think Eve could be such a troll in that regard xD and while the scene with Josh's "Ange" and "Devil" was a bit out there (okay, really out there) it was also pretty funny to see Josh arguing with himself.
You also threw more subtle hints in regards to Eve and Josh's character plotlines and their issues but also gave subtle movement to their growing friendship in how they grabbed hands without even making a scene of it how they would've before. In general the two are a lot more comfortable around each other, just the fact Josh is willing to do all this to help her is really nice on his part and whatnot.
Again probably the biggest thing I didn't like was the fact that while the world building tidbits are awesome (and I actually like tha tyou're basing the underground more on London's and other cities in the UK...which I've actually been to ) it does feel like there wasn't much plot movement. Then again, this story is more about the little moments that Josh and Eve share with each other rather than any specific plot but...I want to see the tournament already xD your chapters don't come out that regularly! you're making people wait a lot!
Anyways I did spot a few mistakes here and there, mostly typos or words that kind of ruined the flow but nothing too bad, the usual really.
Anyways i just wanna see the tournament and see what people think of Josh's new tits.
Anyways the last chapter was mostly set up for the actually tournament but it had a lot of fun moments, the scene in the cafe made my day, I didn't think Eve could be such a troll in that regard xD and while the scene with Josh's "Ange" and "Devil" was a bit out there (okay, really out there) it was also pretty funny to see Josh arguing with himself.
You also threw more subtle hints in regards to Eve and Josh's character plotlines and their issues but also gave subtle movement to their growing friendship in how they grabbed hands without even making a scene of it how they would've before. In general the two are a lot more comfortable around each other, just the fact Josh is willing to do all this to help her is really nice on his part and whatnot.
Again probably the biggest thing I didn't like was the fact that while the world building tidbits are awesome (and I actually like tha tyou're basing the underground more on London's and other cities in the UK...which I've actually been to ) it does feel like there wasn't much plot movement. Then again, this story is more about the little moments that Josh and Eve share with each other rather than any specific plot but...I want to see the tournament already xD your chapters don't come out that regularly! you're making people wait a lot!
Anyways I did spot a few mistakes here and there, mostly typos or words that kind of ruined the flow but nothing too bad, the usual really.
Anyways i just wanna see the tournament and see what people think of Josh's new tits.