Things you’ve said but terribly out of context

[Handium]

“Enough to kill a blood baby”
“What”

 

[Queen Of Space]

Skylor: “BEGONE FOWL ASS DEMON”
Me: “What’s an ass demon?”

Me a few seconds later
“It hurt but it also felt good”

 

[mastermind lissi]

My classmate: “ShE hAs DeMeNtIa”

 

[Itsjustmudkipz]

“You can’t blame everything on your stuffed animal that doesn’t have a tongue!!”

 

[mastermind lissi]

This was my friend: “I looked at my adhd pills and thought “TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT!!”

I have the context but you don’t get it

 

[Pigrider09]

“You’re measuring over 300 Ks on my thermo meter!”

 

[Pigrider09]

Spoiler: Mild sexual content

I go and bone on Somalia

 

[AddyNoSketchpad]

"Use all the commands you want. I am a cactus and cannot be teleported."

"Isn't sashimi raw fish? Which means Tom just ate their fish-"

"He is not emo. He just doesn't have shoes."

"At this rate I'm gonna have like seven boyfriends!"

"That's cause everyone DOES look like Bluey's dad!"

"He do be likin' those transmitters tho"

 

[Itsjustmudkipz]

Icr my exact wording but it was something like this:

“Let’s lunch that lunch better than it’s ever been lunched before!”

 

[Tyropop]

"Onions are digested in the lungs"

 

[helperman]

Not me, but people I know said this just now.
"You need to be awake. Let's throw cold water at her." "But we only have boiling water." "Well, that still probably would wake her up, but it would cause some damage"

 

[mastermind lissi]

This was from my mom: “are the proctors eating these dry erase markers or something….” (Note: she said this in Russian so this is a Lissi Translation TM)

My mom again a few minutes ago “ok so those proctors are definitely eating the dry erase markers”

 

[mastermind lissi]

Sorry for the double post but

Spoiler: tw murder mention

“See I told you I’m the only one who hasn’t had murderous thoughts, even Taylor did! Listen to fortnight!” -me

 

[AddyNoSketchpad]

"I was about to ask 'the arsonist or the writing tool'"

 

[Itsjustmudkipz]

“You know what’s down south? Cowboys”

“Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye, you were smaller than the whole sky, you were less than a….shotgun?“

 

[MC.Princess]

“How’d they make question marks scarier than big numbers?!” - me, watching Mob Psycho 100 at 2am

 

[Itsjustmudkipz]

“It looks like a boxing Pinocchio with a big hat!”

 

[AddyNoSketchpad]

"I think he'd probably be alright tho, like cmon have you tried kicking a tree down the stairs?

...no?"

 

[Pigrider09]

"My butts are harmed"

 

[Itsjustmudkipz]

“It has a picture of Roark…seems credible!”